


Defiance’s Resurgence

by Jade_Max



Series: Defiance's Resurgence [2]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Interspecies Romance, Work In Progress, mentions of rape/non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-04-08 01:32:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 65,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14094114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jade_Max/pseuds/Jade_Max
Summary: Set after “Defiance’s Price”; Ahsoka must learn to cope with what she suffered at Hondo and Atai’s hands as her world slowly crumbles about her while leaning on the man who rescued her - Captain Rex





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to Disney and is the intellectual property of George Lucas; he created the sandbox. I’m making no money off of this and am simply destroying the sandcastles.

Rex was just about to touch up the _jaig_ eyes on his helmet when his comm. went off. Setting aside the brush, he clicked it on and Anakin’s miniature image appeared, starting to speak immediately. His words were clipped, almost angry, a determined jut to his jaw indicating something wasn’t right.  
  
“Meet me in the hangar bay with two squads stat, Rex. I’ll be on the _Twilight_.”  
  
“Copy that, General.” Reaching for his armor, he was on his feet, already moving, as he replied. Anakin wasn’t one to issue that kind of order lightly and there would be time to discover _why_ once they were on their way to their destination; he chose not to question the urgency and simply comply. “On our way.”  
  
The comm. shut off and Rex keyed in another frequency. “Squads five, and seven, report to the hangar bay and General Skywalker on board the _Twilight_ immediately.”  
  
Affirmative acknowledgements came back without delay and Rex had no trouble picturing the scene in the barracks as the ten men collected their gear. He wasn’t disappointed in their response. He finished clipping on his armor and blasters and, exiting into the corridor with his helmet under one arm, found the squads already on their way.  
  
Falling into step with Coric, nodding to Jesse and Kix, Rex checked the charge on his blasters.  
  
“The _Twilight_ , Rex?”  
  
“General’s orders,” Rex came back with a shrug as they entered the turbolift and headed for the hangar bay.  
  
“I gather he didn’t say much, just got ‘that look’?”  
  
“You’d be right.”  
  
“Ah.”  
  
That said it all as silence descended within the lift, the sound of plastoid rubbing against itself the only marker for the passage of time. Rex pulled his bucket from under his arm as the lift came to a halt and led his men out, towards the awkward looking craft that was his General’s personal ship.  
  
They marched orderly behind him, habit more than anything, as another trooper, sans helmet, appeared on the ramp. Even from across the hangar it was easy to identify the kama and pauldron of the ARC trooper, the distinctive patterns belonging to only one brother.  
  
“Fives.”  
  
“Rex, double time it. We need to get moving.”  
  
The remark was basically an order, though the ARC had no real authority over the squads. Rex caught the stress in the words and motioned the men inside as he stopped next to Fives. As the last of the boots left the ground, Fives was lifting the ramp and speaking to the cockpit. “All aboard, General.”  
  
_“Copy that,”_ came back Skywalker’s disembodied voice. _“Strap in; this is going to be bumpy.”_  
  
The order went out on the main squad frequencies and Rex and Fives went to join the others, strapping in side by side. They were practically thrown into their seats as the _Twilight_ rocketed out of the hangar bay and banked sharply enough to completely override the inertial compensators.  
  
There was a brief, sickening lurch as they hit hyperspace within moments of take off, a sure sign that something was wrong, very wrong, but Rex hadn’t a clue what. Maybe Senator Admidala was in danger again?  
  
It wouldn’t surprise him.  
  
Few things got Anakin’s back up like a threat to the Senator.  
  
“Not that it isn’t great to see you, Fives, but what the hell’s going on?”  
  
Fives shook his head. “An infiltration,” he returned, his words surprisingly clipped. “The General will explain.”  
  
Rex frowned; it wasn’t like Fives to be serious or evasive, though he’d certainly lost an edge of his jovial personality when Echo had been killed. The hum of the engines shifted, a sound Rex mentally noted as switching to auto pilot, as he considered the ARC. If Fives was being taciturn, there was more to this than anticipated.  
  
Within moments the door leading to the cockpit opened and Fives was the first out of his restraints, Rex on his heels, as the General walked into room where the troopers.  
  
“General.”  
  
He and Fives spoke together as the two squads snapped to attention.  
  
“At ease,” Anakin told them, looking around the room before his gaze fell on Rex.  
  
Rex noted the strain in his commanding officer with a glance. Whatever was happening, it was taking a serious toll on the General. “What are we deploying for, sir?”  
  
Anakin’s expression was hard; his eyes glinting with emotion. “We’re going after Ahsoka.”  
  
“Ahsoka!”  
  
“The Commander, sir?”  
  
Anakin nodded, looking at the men one at a time before his gaze came back to Rex’s. Alarm wasn’t his first reaction; Ahsoka could take care of herself, but Rex had to voice the question. He knew where she was _supposed_ to have been, what she _should_ have been doing, and something didn’t add up. Nothing in her current assignment was technically dangerous.

“I thought she was pla- er” he barely stopped himself from saying ‘Playing Master’, “acting as a chaperone to some Jedi Younglings for the next couple of weeks.”  
  
“She was,” Anakin agreed. “Until Hondo attacked their ship, crippled it and took Ahsoka.”  
  
A murmur spread through the room. Ahsoka was an honorary member of Torrent Company, meaning as much to her men as any of their brothers - more probably, Rex reflected - and threatening her was a good way to make some enemies.  
  
Even Fives, long since having left Torrent Company behind, bristled. Apparently he hadn’t known _who_ they were going after either. Likely all he’d been told was that they were a high profile individual.  
  
“How do you know, sir?”  
  
“The younglings jumped away in their broken ship and found Ahsoka to be missing. The only logical assumption is that she’s Hondo’s prisoner.”  
  
“She hasn’t communicated?”  
  
“Not a word,” Anakin confirmed grimly. “And we’ve had no ransom message or extortion demand from Hondo. We’re going in assuming the worst.”

Rex wasn't exactly sure what his General meant by the worst. Torture?

  
“Don’t worry sir,” was Coric's confident response, hefting his blaster. “We’ll find the Commander.”  
  
“She’s a tough lady, sir,” Jesse added, “she’ll be all right until we reach her.”  
  
“Just be ready to move. We’re on our own for this one.”  
  
“The _Resolute_ isn’t our backup, sir?”  
  
“No, Appo, she’s needed elsewhere. I hope to be on board Hondo’s ship and on our way off with Ahsoka by the time she reaches her destination. Any questions?”  
  
Rex looked at the men, noting how Kix and Coric exchanged a look he couldn’t read. Kix, surprisingly, was the one to speak up. “How long has she been Hondo’s prisoner, sir?”  
  
“Too long.”  
  
Kix nodded but forged ahead. “I’m not disagreeing sir, but knowing how long she’s been his captive will help us know what to expect.”  
  
The _way_ he said it gave Rex chills despite being unable to follow the dark thoughts of the medical officers. Whatever they feared, it was written in their eyes, though they gave no voice to it.  
  
“Four days, give or take.”  
  
“ _Days?_ ”  
  
Rex glanced at Fives, the ARC’s outburst completely synced with his own, frowning. Four _days_ and they were only hearing about it _now_?  
  
“Obi-Wan and Cody were dispatched to rescue her as soon as the younglings were able to get in touch with him but were ambushed,” Anakin informed them shortly. “The younglings are looking after the survivors of the _Negotiator’s_ battle with their crippled ship until the _Resolute_ can reach them.”  
  
“Why weren’t we told immediately, General?”  
  
“Four days in a long time in a pirate’s clutches.”  
  
Rex silently agreed with his men. Ahsoka was _their_ Commander - Torrent Company should have been dispatched _immediately_ to free her. He and his men would go to any lengths for her, _die_ for her if need be, and Anakin _was_ her Master.  
  
_Perhaps_ , he reflected, _that is why we weren’t sent._  
  
“This is an unofficial mission,” Anakin countered. “Master Luminara’s been charged with the rescue operation and is supposed to rendezvous with Hondo’s ship over Florrum next cycle.”  
  
“Next _cycle_ ?”  
  
“We’re on an intercept course. Hondo’s ship was reported as stopped halfway to Florrum taking on cargo from a Zygerrian transport. The plan is to land while they’re occupied, find Ahsoka and get out of there.”  
  
Rex heard him, but his mind had flashed back to Zygerria and the mission he’d undertaken with the two Generals and Ahsoka a short time ago. There’d been a Zygerrian who’d been intent on adding Ahsoka to his collection of slaves, or so she’d told him after the fact, the satisfied sparkle in her eyes easy to picture as she’d recounted pulling the alien off the building with the Force to teach him a lesson.  
  
Shaking away the thought, Rex couldn’t help but think it was too much of a coincidence that Ahsoka had gone missing and a Zygerrian slaver ship was now tied to Hondo, the man who had her. The first vestiges of unease gripped him.  “What if he plans to sell her, sir?”  
  
“Then we get to her before they can,” Anakin told him firmly. “This isn’t going to be easy. Hondo’s ship is massive and we’ve no idea where they’re keeping her.”  
  
“She’s our Commander, sir,” Tup stated, the other troopers echoing his declaration. “We’ll find her.”  
  
“Glad to hear it. We should be there within the hour - prepare yourselves.” Anakin looked his way. “Rex, Fives - a moment?”  
  
They followed Anakin out of the room as Coric and Kix separated themselves away from the rest of the group, talking in low tones, neither wearing a particularly pleasant expression. Rex hoped that didn’t mean they expected to find she’d been tortured. Surely Hondo, for all he’d heard of the pragmatic pirate, wouldn’t risk the wrath of the Jedi and harm her.  
  
The door closed behind them as Anakin led them into the cockpit and they both stopped, jerking to attention as Anakin’s co-pilot turned and flashed them a welcoming, if subdued, smile.  
  
“Rex. Fives. It’s good to see you.”  
  
“And you Senator,” Rex's response was automatic and ingrained as Senator Padmé Amidala checked a reading on the nav computer before giving them her full attention again. “I… wasn’t expecting to see you here.”  
  
“Master Skywalker was commissioning my transport back to Coruscant when we received word about Ahsoka,” she told them, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest. “I offered to tag along.”  
  
Which made complete sense; Ahsoka and the Senator were friends. What didn’t make sense was why his General was allowing her to walk into a potentially dangerous situation. As a rule, he liked to avoid putting her in danger.  
  
As if reading his mind, Anakin smiled faintly. “Padmé’s going to stay with the ship while we search since I need all boots on deck - just in case we need a quick dust off.”  
  
“Yes, sir.”  
  
“If you’ll excuse me, I need to speak with your team medics,” Padmé told them, gaining her feet and heading towards the door where they still stood. Fives and Rex parted, allowing her through and she disappeared into the hall. The door closed behind them as they stepped fully into the room.  
  
“Was there a reason you asked to speak with us, General?”  
  
Anakin’s countenance sobered. “We don’t know what kind of shape Ahsoka’s in, or how they’ve been treating her, Rex.”  
  
“I thought Jedi could sense one another,” Fives interjected, crossing his arms over his chest. “Like you and General Kenobi.”  
  
“I’ve tried,” there was a pained note in his General’s words. “I can’t reach her through the Force.”  
  
“We know the pirate has Force blocking prisons,” Rex reminded him, trying not to read too much into that fact. “You and General Kenobi were held in such a place.”  
  
Anakin was already shaking his head. “This feels different. I can’t explain it.”  
  
Rex exchanged looks with Fives.  
  
“We’re going in under the assumption that he’s keeping her in one of those prisons,” Anakin continued them with a frown, “but having been Hondo’s… guest myself, her treatment may not have been limited to restraint.”  
  
“Sir?”  
  
“Are you saying he might have tortured her?” Rex didn’t deliberately leave the ‘sir’ off his comment, but the thought was sickening enough to consider, _really_  consider, that it didn’t even cross his mind.  
  
“It’s a possibility we have to be prepared for.”  
  
“I’ll have a word with Kix and Coric-.”  
  
“Padmé’s already doing that; she has a good idea of what Ahsoka could be going through.” Anakin inhaled deeply, looking away for a moment, visibly uneasy. “Whatever the circumstance, we need to bring her home. Make sure the squads know what to do and ensure each one has a medic.”  
  
“Anything else - sir?” the title was an afterthought, but Rex remembered it this time.  
  
“We’re going to be severely outnumbered by the pirates. When we get close enough, I’ll have to jack into their systems to try and locate her. Be ready for anything, Rex. We haven’t a clue what we’re walking into.”  
  
“Don’t worry sir,” he assured his General with a sense of determination. No matter the situation, the resistance or the danger, he _would_ bring Ahsoka home. “We will be.”  
  
“Good. Dismissed.”


	2. Chapter 2

Rex checked the layout Anakin had provided with a possible second location for Ahsoka as Fives, Tup, Kix, Sureshot and Jesse took out the last of the resistance in the hallway. His comm. channel crackled to life as he calculated the door around the next corner as being their destination.  
  
_“How many pirates can this ship hold?”_  
  
_“Not exactly taking a head count, Jess,”_ Fives came back immediately, his tone dry. _“Rex?”_  
  
He didn’t rise to the bait, completely focused on navigating the maze that was Hondo’s ship. “Next left. Second door in.”  
  
_“Copy that. Tup, cover me.”_  
  
Rex flicked the map off his HUD with a blink of his eyes and joined Fives near the corner. “Cover us.”  
  
_“Yes sir.”_  
  
They rounded the corner with a blur of blaster fire, Rex darting across the hall to a protruding bulkhead and picking off the Zygerrian guard that had been caught by surprise. Two others traded blaster fire with the clones for a full thirty seconds, using their own partial cover, before Fives got one, Tup the other and Kix downed the last.  
  
As the body hit the floor, smoking blasters and white armor tinged with crimson in the rotating wave of the red emergency lights, was all that remained.  
  
_“Think we’re in the right-”_  
  
A raw, agonized scream shattered the silence. It cut off whatever Kix had been saying, the sound grating down Rex’s spine in a wave of dread and fear, a sense of desperate urgency driving him forward. That sound… that _awful_ noise seemed to resonate with his name and Rex felt in every fiber of his being. She needed him.  
  
_Now_.  
  
“Ahsoka!” Darting forward and over the dead bodies, straight to the door the Zygerrian’s had been guarding, Rex hit the reinforced control panel and got nothing. The door didn’t move, didn’t so much as quiver. The sound of a scuffle was muffled behind it and he pounded on the portal. “Ahsoka! _Ahsoka!_ ”  
  
Fives appeared beside him. _“I’ve got this.”_ The words were slow to penetrate and Fives put his shoulder to Rex’s, physically knocking him aside. _“Move, Captain!”_  
  
Slapping a shaped charge on the control panel, Fives and Rex turned away from the blast as it ripped into the electronic controls and, after a moment, the door lock released and cracked open.  
  
The smoke hadn’t cleared as Rex put his shoulder to it, and pushed, inside and scanning the room for Ahsoka within moments. What he saw wasn’t what he expected.  
  
A furry, naked Zygerrian had her pinned to a bed as she thrashed weakly, kicking out at him in an attempt to push him away. Even as he took in the situation, the creature slid between her sienna colored legs, as if having her mount him, like a speeder bike, in reverse.  
  
“Ahsoka!”  
  
_“Commander!”_  
  
Rex didn’t think as Fives’ call meshed with his own, both blasters coming up with cool precision as his gaze narrowed to the back of the Zygerrian’s head. His fingers squeezed off twin rounds in rapid fire succession just as Ahsoka’s whole body bowed off the bed with a shriek unlike anything he’d ever heard.  
  
It was agony and despair wrapped in denial, his blood icing in his veins and he began to move without really being aware of it.  
  
On the outside of his HUD, he caught Fives and Jesse entering the room behind him, scanning the area, Kix, Tup and Sureshot trading blaster fire with more guards beyond the door. His men called to each other, coordinating their attacks, but his focus was on Ahsoka and the body that had slumped over hers, smoking blaster holes in head and chest, its weight having seemed to pin her.  
  
She was still; unimaginably so.  
  
“Ahsoka! _Ahsoka_ !”  
  
Reaching her side, he grasped the Zygerrian by the furry nape of his neck and tore him away, a sickening slurping, popping sound accompanying the action. The sight that greeted him made him freeze.  
  
Ahsoka was naked.  
  
Mostly.  
  
Her battle dress was destroyed, shredded; the top was missing and the bottom barely covered her hips. The glimpse was brief. As he heaved the corpse away, she curled in upon herself, quaking and shaking, a dark stain streaking her legs and the covers as the body of the Zygerrian fell to the side. He fell to his knees next to her, scanning her with desperate eyes, the almost vacant expression on her face unnerving in ways he hadn’t known it could be.  
  
Of their own accord, his gaze dropped to take in her injuries, cataloging them and the scan of her body showed bruising and scratching, dark stains marring the skin at her neck. A red splash on the side of her lekku was blatantly obvious with more welling from several slashes across her upper arms and down, over to where the limbs were crossed protectively over her chest. Slashes to her abdomen and down, across the bare scrap of fabric across her hips, there was even more on her thighs, on her knees, even spattering her feet.  
  
It took a moment for him to identify the dark liquid as the state of her injuries registered, the damage worse than any he’d ever before seen on her.  
  
Blood.  
  
Ahsoka was _bleeding_ and he couldn’t tell how badly.  
  
His heart seized. “Fives, get Kix - _now_!”  
  
Something in his voice, possibly the sound of it, drew her head up, eyes that were empty and devoid of emotion or response staring straight into his visor. Five’s affirmative reply was lost somewhere in the back of his mind as he stared back at her. It was like she wasn’t there or couldn’t see him.  
  
Disturbed and alarmed, he ducked his head closer to hers. “Ahsoka?” There was no response to his voice this time, her eyes glazed and unfocused. Didn’t she recognize him?  “Ahsoka? Ahsoka, it’s me. It’s Rex.”  
  
He reached for her, intending to touch her shoulder, to shake her, to do _something_ to gain a response. Anything to have her acknowledge him. Yet, as he looked into her impassive gaze, he saw what she saw reflected in their shining depths. A man in a helmet - a man without a face.  
  
Guilt sliced into him like a vibroknife, stabbing into his gut with a wrenching sensation and, without thinking, he tugged his bucket off, setting it down beside him.  
  
His gaze never left hers, colliding without the shield of his visor as his helmet disappeared, and he saw a flare of recognition, belated, but _there_. Her expression changed, taking on the slightest hint of animation and _relief_ slammed into him like the force of a combat take off.  
  
“You’re safe now,” he told her in an undertone, and feeling the need to reassure her, wanting to touch, to take her in his arms, but unwilling to risk the chance he’d do her more harm. “We’ll get you out of here, Ahsoka. I promise.”  
  
Her body continuing to quake, chillbumps appearing on her skin despite the fact she did little more than stare at him and continue to bleed. Setting his blaster aside with a hand that wasn’t quite steady, he pulled one of the twisted blankets from the pile around her. His heart squeezed painfully as he carefully covered her, taking care not to touch any of her myriad of injuries.  
  
While he had some battlefield experience when it came to triage, he knew her wounds were beyond him; there were too many. Where was Kix, blast it? _“Kix!”_  
  
She flinched, shivering in a single convulsion, seeming to cower from his call. Alarmed, worried he’d somehow done something wrong or hurt her and Rex made to withdraw.  
  
Only to be caught in place as her fingers closed about his wrist like a vice. Her nails dug into the gap between plastoid pieces and into his bodysuit, her grip strong enough to flex the protective plating. Her eyes were wide, pained, but her voice, when she spoke, despite it being raw and rasping, was the sweetest thing he’d heard.  
  
“Don’t. Rex-”  
  
“I need to cover you, Ahsoka,” he admonished gruffly, easing back to her, daring to reach out to tug one corner a little higher so as little of her sienna flesh was as visible as possible. “The boys don’t need to see you like this.”  
  
“I-”  
  
“Just rest; regain your strength,” he admonished, frowning as he turned his head over his shoulder. “ _Kix_ \- I need you here!”  
  
“Here, sir.”  
  
The medic’s appearance through the doorway to the room was a relief and Rex caught sight of Tup and Sureshot taking up guard position as Fives and Jesses came towards him, no doubt as concerned about Ahsoka as he was.  
  
“How is she Rex?”  
  
“Is she okay, sir?”  
  
He shook his head in response to their questions; he wouldn’t know until Kix could give him an assessment but, from the look of things, she was in rough shape. Nodding to Ahsoka as Kix drew near, he gave Kix and unnecessary order; she needed medical attention as swiftly as possible so they could get her out of here. “She’s been injured; make it quick.”  
  
A pinch of pain and the sensation of his hand and wrist being _squeezed_ within the shell of his armor drew his gaze back to her, concerned. “Ahsoka?”  
  
She was gasping, her gaze darting from him to Kix, to Fives and Jesse and then back to him, seeming to shrink back within the blanket, using his arm as leverage, as if she was trying to curl about it when Kix knelt on the bed to reach her.  
  
And quickly rose.  
  
“Sir,” Kix’s voice held a note of consternation and compassion as he moved away immediately, stepping back several paces, his hands raised in a non threatening move. “Sir, I can’t help you.”  
  
“Blast it, Kix,” Rex snapped, flexing his fingers within her death grip and glaring at the medic; Kix had never been squeamish before and Ahsoka _needed_ him. “She’s been injured, that’s your _job_!”  
  
“Yes sir; but _she_ won’t let me.”  
  
Not _let_ him? Kix was her _friend;_ of course she would _let_ him. “This is Ahsoka; there’s no one she’d rather-”  
  
“Not anymore, sir.”  
  
Flabbergasted, Rex watched the medic turn to the rest of the men, ushering them away with cool efficiency. “Back to your posts. Fives, take lead and punch us a hole; the Captain isn’t going to be able to lead this one.”  
  
“I’m on it.” As Fives walked towards the door with Jesse on his heels, he lifted keyed his comm. “General?”  
  
Rex didn’t hear the rest of the transmission. “Kix, get back here!”  
  
“I’m sorry, sir, but you’re going to have to help her; she won’t let me get close.”  
  
“This is _Ahsoka_ ,” Rex tried again, his gaze darting to Tup and Jesse as they glanced his way, before looking back to Kix. “You don’t have to be a Jedi healer to help her!”  
  
“You saw her reaction, Rex,” Kix shook his head, regret in every line of his posture and Rex wished he could see the medic’s face, to know what he was _really_ thinking. “I want to; more than anything. If she’d let me, I would. I’m sorry; you’re on your own.”  
  
“Then get Coric,” Rex ordered harshly. “He’ll do it.”  
  
“No, sir,” Kix corrected grimly, taking up a position behind Tup and pulling his blaster out once more. “He won’t.”  
  
“You can’t-”  
  
_“Sir,”_ Kix stressed the title. “What she’s been through is traumatic enough; she needs _you_. Not me. Trust me sir; I’d be doing more harm than good. Getting her back to the _Twilight_ is the best we can do for her right now!”  
  
Blaster fire sounded from beyond the doorway and Rex knew time was running out. They needed to get out of here as soon as possible. Rex frowned, but the medic appeared to have made up his mind and moved to join the fire fight.  
  
Kix’s words rang in his ears, cryptic and unhelpful. Ahsoka was going to need him and not Kix? What had the medic meant? Her attacker was dead, naked and bloodied, yes, but dead all the same and she was surrounded by the men she considered family. She _was_ safe now, wasn’t she?  
  
He glanced back to Ahsoka, feeling the plastoid shift under her grip and idly wondered if the gauntlet would ever be the same. She seemed distant, distracted; still in the thrall of shock but somehow taking comfort from his presence.  
  
“Easy,” he admonished, covering the hand squeezing his with the other, going for a touch of levity despite the fact his men had just re-engaged the enemy. “I’m going to need that.”  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
“No harm done,” he assured her, searching her expression. Kix words lingered and he offered her a nod, indicating the medic. “Kix seems to think you don’t want him around.”  
  
Her reaction was instantaneous. Her body tensed, shuddering and though her words were barely audible, he caught them and they took him by surprise.  
  
“I don’t.”  
  
“You’ve been hurt, Ahsoka, he should-”  
  
_“No!”_  
  
The weight and pressure around his arm disappeared as she flung herself away, scrambling backwards, and spattering droplets of blood on the surrounding blankets. Nearing the wall at the back of the bed, one hand clutching the blanket to her nudity, Rex’s stomach twisted in a way it never had from the bloody trail she left behind. Smears and smudges, it was a testament to her treatment at the Zygerrian’s hands.  
  
Fives voice reached him at a sudden lull in blaster fire. “Rex, if we’re going, we have to go - _now_.”  
  
Which meant time was up.  “Ahsoka-”  
  
“Don’t let them touch me!”  
  
Her eyes were wild, her expression almost feral in its panic. Glancing back over his shoulder, he watched Jesse get thrown back by a glancing shot, Tup leaning forward to cover him as he rolled, managing to maintain his blaster and Kix and Sureshot giving them both cover fire. Fives was somewhere beyond the room within that hail of fire doing as Kix had instructed; punching a hole.  
  
They needed to go.  
  
Based on what he could see, Ahsoka couldn’t walk out of there under her own power; if she’d been capable, she’d have already done so. Which left only one option. Making a snap decision and, knowing she wouldn’t likely appreciate it or cooperate based on her thus far irrational behavior, he grabbed his bucket, clipped it to his belt and gave her a look of apology he wasn’t sure she’d understand in her current state of mind. “Forgive me.”  
  
In that same motion, he reached forward, sliding his arms about her, rolling her, tying her up in the blanket and immediately struggled, her _“No!”_ tearing into his chest like a cadre of vibroknives - but he couldn’t let her go. She seemed unable to move under her own power and so that left only one option; he had to carry her.  
  
Despite her twisting and turning, he gained his feet, shifting his grip so she was held securely, arms pinned to her body, her knees wrapped securely in his other arm. Yet she still fought as he took his first steps.  
  
“Ahsoka!” His voice was harder than he’d intended, unconsciously putting every ounce of his authority into the tone as he moved towards the door; he _needed_ her cooperation or neither of them would make it out. “I am not going to hurt you but you could get hurt if you don’t stop squirming.”  
  
“Let me go,” she gasped, her body undulating, her movements as frantic as her pleas. “I can’t-”  
  
“Free her arms, sir.”  
  
He glanced up as Kix left, taking a knee on the inside of the room and, not having any better ideas, followed the medic’s advice. Settling Ahsoka onto his thigh, he unwound the blanket, loosening its hold, careful not to let it drop.  
  
She nearly smacked him in the face as her arms jerked free with a soft cry and they immediately folded back around her waist, one hand splayed upwards across her chest to hold the cloth in place.  
  
Helpless to do anything but watch as she struggled with the reaction his precipitated actions had caused, Rex felt useless. Ahsoka was on his leg, huddled over with her feet flat on the floor, blood smearing her skin, and all he could do was _wait_.  
  
He didn’t like it one bit.  
  
It made him feel… guilty. He’d caused this; by surprising her, by grabbing her unexpectedly, he’d obviously done something to trigger a pani-  
  
_“Rex?”_  
  
Five’s tone was clipped. He knew that tone; ready or not, they needed to get moving. “We have to go.”  
  
She flinched, glancing his way and then looking away. She still shook, her body seeming to be unable to stop. If he grabbed her again, would it be a repeat of the same scenario? He wasn’t sure his heart could take it if she fought him again.  
  
Would… would it be different if she latched on to him? He ducked his head a little, catching her, and eye to eye, offered her the order coached in a suggestion. Either she grabbed him, or he’d have to grab her again - and he wasn’t looking forward to her reaction. “Put your arms around me, Ahsoka.”  
  
Blaster fire sounded outside and Fives voice came again. _“Rex!”_  
  
She stared at him and Rex wondered what she saw in his gaze, for he saw much - too much - in hers.  
  
Instinct had asserted itself, her feral nature acting like a bulwark against the realities of what had happened to her. Wounded and vulnerable, he realized with a flash of insight that she was skirting the edges of true hysterical breakdown.  
  
As if watching her thought process, he caught sight was what he was hoping to see. A spark of hope, blossoming deep within the depths of her eyes, as the nature of her circumstances had finally begun to register. Determination buoyed it; a glimpse of the resilient young woman who’d made it through every obstacle thus far and emerged the stronger for it.  
  
In a lightning move that nearly knocked him on his ass, her arms twined around his shoulder, her body surging close, chest to chest, as she plastered herself against him. The was a bit of a hesitation as she worked one arm around his pauldron, but the feel of her against him, her lekku against his cheek as she tucked her face to his neck, was the most wonderful thing he’d felt since finding her.  
  
His arms closed about her and he was careful to place them on neutral areas. The back of one shoulder; the other under her knees; awkward, but she didn’t protest though her body continued to tremble and shudder as her words feathered across his skin.  
  
“Get me out of here, Rex.”  
  
Gladly.  
  
“Hang on.”  
  
He rose to his feet and began to move, ducking into the hallway where the familiar smells of burn ozone and scorched durasteel permeated the air, the bodies of pirates littering the hallway. Watching his step, he moved up the corridor to join Jesse, Fives, Sureshot and Tup nowhere to be found.  
  
“Around the corner, sir.” Kix fell in behind them, blaster held in a defensive position. “How is she?”  
  
Rex met the medic’s eyes behind his visor, knowing the question came from the visible state of Ahsoka’s arms and back. Her tawny flesh was crisscrossed with claw marks, as if mauled by an animal, her arms exhibiting the darkest of bruises; a sickening, lasting imprint of too harsh a grip.  
  
“The sooner we get her out of here the better.”  
  
Around the corner the shrieking of a blaster was followed by an explosion and a taunt from Fives before blaster fire resumed.  
  
Jesse gave them the signal to stay and moved around the corner. Kix, second later after another blast, gave him the all clear signal and Rex moved out.  
  
Leapfrogging through the level, Rex kept his grip on Ahsoka, not once reaching for his blasters, his mind entirely focused on his objective. Getting Ahsoka to the _Twilight._ There was no chance in any of the Corellian hells he would leave her now that he had her in his arms and on the way off this prison. His team was capable and he was confident Fives would get them where they needed to go.  
  
Backtracking, through the ship proved difficult as the pirates closed the noose, catching them in blind corners and attempting to set up ambushes; Fives leading the party, didn’t let them. From somewhere up ahead, blaster fire echoed back to them along with a series of colorful insults and Rex fractionally tightened his grip as he bolted across a service corridor link up.  
  
As they traversed crossover corridors, passing through hatchways and taking service corridors between levels, they left a trail of bodies in their wake before emerging into the last of the corridors. It was larger, ending with the hangar bay, and Ahsoka tensed further in his grasp, her muscles flexing and he was reassured not all of her senses were dulled.  
  
Turning his lips to the montral that was pressed against the side of his face, he spoke softly, just for her, his voice nothing more than a murmur. “Almost there, Ahsoka; we’re almost there.”  
  
The battle suddenly intensified, red and blue bolts shrieking about them.  
  
Ducking away as a bolt sliced far too close, Rex spun into a side junction, shielding her with his body, hers close to the wall. Ducking his head and suddenly wishing he’d kept his bucket on and not relishing going out from an errant blast to the back of the head.  
  
“Kix-”  
  
“On it, Captain.”  
  
His men read him too well and, in that moment, Rex had never been more grateful.  
  
Kix slid around the corner to help Sureshot, Tup, Jesse and Fives, drawing fire. Bare seconds later, as there seemed to be no discernible sign of either side winning, Rex caught the familiar hum of a lightsaber. It penetrated the cacophony of battle and he turned his head in time to see the blur that was his General pass through the hallway behind them.  
  
Ahsoka’s arms tightened around his neck, pressing against his windpipe and making it hard to breathe, but he made no move to stop her as the screams of the pirates echoed through the corridors from the hangar bay, Skywalker undoubtedly leaping full force into the center of the battle.  
  
Rex didn’t need to see it to know it.  
  
The brief skirmish was highlighted by several cries and the clashing-hum of a lightsaber meeting its mark before a quiet, almost eerie after the fight, descended.  
  
Kix’s voice came from down the corridor. “All clear Captain.”  
  
“For now.” Quipped Jesse.  
  
“Let’s go Rex; there’s plenty more where those came from.”  
  
At Anakin’s urgent words, Rex turned his attention fully to the young woman in his arms, feeling the pressure of hers around his windpipe. As a result, her name was slightly choked. “Ahsoka?”  
  
She squeezed, not saying anything, before releasing the death grip on his neck and let him breathe again. He ducked his head, re-offering his gruff reassurance, not sure what else he could say to help; if there _was_ anything that could help. She was a trooper to hang in when he could feel the tension screaming from every muscle in her body. “We’re almost there.”  
  
Clutching her close, Rex went from a standstill, two steps into a walk and then straight into a run as the sound of feet pounding on the deck reached him from somewhere behind.  
  
Passing Kix, Anakin and Tup, he went straight for the ramp where Jesses and Fives were crouched defensively, slowing to maintain his balance as he stepped up it, he hearing a shout and then blaster fire followed by the General ordering the men to get on the ship.  
  
Moving into the assembly area, Rex passed straight through it, down a short corridor and into the infirmary. It was empty, as expected, the roar of the engines already kicking into high gear as Rex tipped Ahsoka back to the bunk.  
  
She clung to him as he tried to straighten, her face buried in the crook of his neck, her breathing both fast and erratic. He could _feel_ her heart racing against his through the pulsing of her lekku against his neck.  
  
“Ahsoka.” He pulled his hands away from her, remembering how she’d struggled when he’d caught her up in his arms before leaving the Zygerrian’s room. Reaching up, he curled his fingers around hers, wincing as he felt her nails dig into the column of his throat. “Let me go.”  
  
She shook her head, coming off the bunk some as he made to straighten.  
  
Caught, Rex braced his forearms on either side of her, bending her back to the bed, conscious of the reverberation of booted heels on the deck plates, certain the ship was about to take off and either send them both sprawling across the floor or lay him out on top of her.  
  
He didn’t know which would have been worse.  
  
The expected acceleration kicked in as he leaned back and attempted to pry her fingers away again. He stumbled, the force and angle of the takeoff knocking him, first into the bunk and then back, dropping him on his ass and sending him skidding across the room.

 Ahsoka, unwilling or unable to release her hold, went with him.  
  
Crashing into the wall, Rex somehow managed to roll so his armor took the brunt of the blow, staying where he was, his arms encircling her protectively. And, ironically, the action had the effect he’d been trying to achieve at the bunk.

 She let go.

* * *

  
Ahsoka scrambled away, breaking Rex's hold with wide eyes. Rolling back and out of his arms, the blanket falling away, she completed two rotations with her heart in her throat before coming to a stop.  
  
Her chest heaving, breath coming in gasps as her instincts screamed at her to run, she found she was frozen staring at the man she’d been clinging to moments before. The ship shook a little before the inertial compensators caught up and she edged backwards as Rex pushed himself to his elbow.  
  
His eyes lifted to meet hers, and they started at one another for a moment before he slowly, deliberately, reached out and caught the edge of the blanket near him. As she watched, her fingers curling in on themselves in an instinctive bid to resist if he tried to-  
  
The blanket came her way slowly as Rex wordlessly held it out to her.  
  
There was nothing in his expression except the concern and compassion within the depths of his gaze, his face otherwise impassive. Her hands moved hesitantly, one coming off the deck plates as she mentally reminded herself that this was Rex.  
  
Rex who had just rescued her. Rex who had taken her away from Hondo and killed Atai. Rex who had brought her beyond their grasp to where she was _safe_.  
  
Just as slowly, Ahsoka reached out to take it, avoiding his fingers because she couldn’t help herself, and drew it back, the fabric running through his fingers like water before she clutched it to her chest. Her gaze never leaving his, never-  
  
“Ahsoka! Oh _Force_ , what did they _do_ to you?!”  
  
She hadn’t heard the door open or the footsteps, but the words ripped through her carefully controlled calm, dredging up unwanted, degrading images.  
  
Of Hondo that first day and his brutally efficient and clinical assault; of being in the shower afterwards and the following days that had blurred together when she’d been left alone, and the details of each assault she’d survived like a stain she couldn’t wash away. Written indelibly within her memories and on the backs of her eyelids was every touch, every foul thing she’d endured.  
  
Her shoulders hunched forward protectively as she curled away from _that_ voice, the looming shadow behind her barely registering as she struggled with the memories, her fingers digging painfully into the flesh of her palms around the edge of the blanket.  
  
She jerked as a gauntleted hand reached over her shoulder and grasped the fabric. _Rex_ , she reminded herself, stifling the urge to curl away as he lifted the blanket and, to her surprise, pulled it protectively about her, like a shield. His voice rumbled behind her, words she didn’t catch as she was focused inwardly, struggling to banish the images back into the benumbed part of her brain they’d been hiding in before _that voice_ had spoken.  
  
The silence outside of her head went unnoticed as she struggled to control her breathing, repeating her vow to herself. _I won’t give up; Rex believes in me. I won’t give up; Rex rescued me._  
  
A shuddering breath escaped as Rex’s hand closed about the blanket before her, his wrist not quite resting on her shoulder, but it caught her attention. _Rex is here; he won’t let anyone hurt me anymore._ Her hand crept up under the blanket, hesitating, gently feathering his fingers through the fabric of his gauntlet. He didn’t react and she slid her fingers about his, using that touch like an anchor as she squeezed gently and then tightly when he returned the gesture.  
   
“I’ll take it from here, Captain.”  
  
Ahsoka jerked with those words, her knees coming up as she curled slightly about Rex’s hand, still grasping it tightly. _No,_ she wanted to scream. _Don’t! Don’t take... don’t..._  
  
“Respectfully, Senator Amidala, I think I should stay.”  
  
_Yes!_  
  
“No.”

_No!_

“Senator, if you-”  
  
“Get out, Captain.”  
  
Panic hit her with the order and Ahsoka's voice responded, choked and desperate. “Rex-”  
  
“Shh, it’s okay Ahsoka,” Padmé interrupted her. “I need to have the droid perform a medical examination and I can’t do it with you here, Captain,” her tone hardened. “I’d rather not make it an order for you to go.”  
  
_No!_ Her hands clutched at his with desperate strength, digging into the glove of his gauntlets as she was unable to find a way to express her thoughts, her tongue suddenly stuck to the roof of her mouth. _Don’t go, Rex!_  
  
“Senator, I don’t think-”  
  
“Out, Captain.”  
  
_No!_  
  
“Senator-”  
  
“Now. Or I’ll have Anakin forcefully remove you.”  
  
_No!_

 “Rex-” it was all she could manage as he began to loosen his grip. She didn’t want to be alone with the Senator for all the thought of his leaving the room presented her with conflicting emotions.  
  
On one hand, he was _male_ and the idea of having him gone was appealing on an instinctual level that spoke of safety and security. On the other hand, this was _Rex_ , the man who’d always been there for her, who’d come to rescue her, and the idea of him leaving her alone was terrifying.  
  
Her gaze moved from the wall upwards as he shifted his position and crouched before her to work on extracting his hand. Their eyes locked. Her desperation must have shown in her eyes, because his tone was gentle, cajoling, but she could see, if not understand, the conflict within the depths of his gaze.  
  
“Ahsoka-”  
  
“Don’t go,” she rasped, her voice carrying no further than between them. “Don’t-”  
  
“You need medical attention,” he murmured in reply, prying her fingers off his gauntlet. “I can’t stay for that.”  
  
“Rex-” her throat closed, begging him with her eyes, pleading with him to stay; to not leave her with Padmé.  
  
“I’ll be right outside if you need me,” he promised. “You’re safe now, remember? We need to get you checked out.”  
  
“Rex-”  
  
“Captain.”  
  
Padmé’s tone demanded compliance and Rex uncurled the last of Ahsoka’s fingers from his gauntlet despite her grip. Wrapping them tightly about the fabric holding the blanket together instead, his voice was rough when he spoke. “Let her help you, Ahsoka. I’ll be right outside, okay?”  
  
“No - please,” she reached for him, desperate to hold onto the one thing that had made her feel safe for the first time in days but perversely relieved he was going. “Rex-”  
  
He stood, stepping out of her range, his jaw clenched as tightly as the fists at his sides. With a harsh nod to the Senator and one last look her way, he was gone. He’d left the room; left her with Padmé; left her _alone_.  
  
_He’s gone_ , she thought, trying to move, the feeling of being deserted crashing into her and scattering her thoughts and panic gripped her lungs in a vice and she began to hyperventilate. _He’s left me. He’s left me! To this woman, this fate. He doesn’t want me; he’s-_  
  
“Ahsoka.”  
  
She flinched, her head snapping around to look at the woman crouched at her side, gasping for breath as she looked into Padmé’s worried brown eyes. Ahsoka stared at her, cringing as and jerking back as a hand reached for her face.  
  
_“Don’t touch me!”_  
  
“Ahsoka, it’s Padmé,” the other woman told her firmly, dropping her hand and searching her expression; Ahsoka wasn’t sure what she was looking for, but the urge to retreat was strong and she cowered, sliding backwards a little, putting some distance between them.  
  
“It’s okay, Ahsoka,” Padmé offered in a soothing tone that sounded almost condescending to the young Togruta. “It’s all over now. You’re safe on board the Twilight; no one will hurt you here. We just need to give you a medical exam and everything will be back to normal in no time. You’ll see; everything will be okay.”  
  
Okay?  
  
_Okay?!_  
  
Ahsoka wanted to rail at her, scream and shout that things would never be _okay_ again!  
  
She’d suffered unspeakable abuse at the hands of Hondo and Atai; she’d been through her own personal hell, lived a nightmare that even now refused to die and Padmé thought everything was going to be _okay_?!  Hysterical laughter bubbled up in her throat; laughter that was choked and throttled from shocked disbelief as Padmé reached for her again.  
  
Her reactions were too slow this time as Padmé wrapped an arm about her shoulders and lifted, urging her to her feet. Her legs protested as much as the intimately abused flesh between them, but Padmé didn’t seem to notice her falter, urging her forward and keeping up a litany of platitudes.  
  
“That’s it, Ahsoka,” murmured the Senator, “Come on; I just need to get you to the med bed so the droid can look you over. You’re safe now; Anakin’s at the helm and there are two squads of troopers who won’t let anyone happen to you. You’re very brave, very strong for surviving whatever the pirates put you through; come on, just a step. That’s it; one more. There we go. Everything’s all right now; I promise it’s over.”  
  
Over.  
  
The word echoed in Ahsoka’s head like a mantra, Padmé’s attempts to reach her and reassure her falling on deaf ears even as her body responded to the physical urging towards the medbay cot.  
  
It would never _be_ over.  
  
Ahsoka could feel the imprint of Atai’s body throbbing within hers, the feel of his cruel hands on the tender flesh of her breasts; the sharpness of his teeth where he’d broken the skin of her neck. She could still feel the imprint of Hondo’s fingers as they’d played with the tender, sensitive skin of her _lek_ , making her feel things she’d never before experienced and intensely shamed for reacting well to even a part of it.  
  
Acting on auto pilot, she didn’t really feel her body as Padmé urged her to the bed, leaving the blanket where it was, and activated the medical droid. Staring at the ceiling, her thoughts elsewhere, Ahsoka missed the sharply indrawn breath of the Senator as the droid began to work, lifting the blanket away and revealing the damage Atai and Hondo had wrought.  
  
She didn’t hear the door open, nor the running of footsteps; she didn’t hear anything as she withdrew into herself, silently wishing, as the droid cut away what was left of her clothes, that Rex had stayed to hold her hand while, contrarily, glad he hadn’t.


	3. Chapter 3

Leaving Ahsoka with Padmé had to have been one of the hardest things he’d ever done, Rex reflected as he stepped into the hallway, the door closing behind him. Ahsoka’s expression would haunt him for a long time but the conflict in her gaze had been what had finally decided him to go; not the threat from the Senator.  
  
For all she’d clung to him, Ahsoka didn’t want to be around him in those moments much more than she wanted to be around Padmé - and she was desperately in need of medical attention. The tangy, sickly smell of her blood clung to his nostrils like the spatters that marred his armor and gauntlets. Where the smell had never really bothered him before, the fact it was _hers_ made all the difference.  
  
With no one else around, Rex gave in to the rage that had threatened to consume him with the sight of Ahsoka’s injuries, and been held in careful check, he slammed his fist into the wall opposite the med bay doors with every ounce of strength he could muster.  
  
It stung; hurt, even through the gauntlet, but he didn’t really notice the throbbing in his knuckles and fingers - it hadn’t helped. Exhaling on a long breath, he tilted his forehead to the wall, resting it next to the fist that was still firmly planted on the durasteel, his thoughts a jumble.  
  
If the Zygerrian hadn’t been dead, if he hadn’t been attacking Ahsoka when he’d come into the room, Rex would have made him suffer a little more. A headshot had been too quick, too _clean_ for what that monster had done to her. He didn’t regret killing the Zygerrian; he simply regretted doing it too quickly.  
  
Boxing up that murderous urge took far more restraint than he’d ever had to use before, especially since the focus of his rage was already dead. _I should have been there sooner_ .  
  
It was a useless thought for what was done, had been done, and they would now have to deal with the consequences. Like Kix, for example, refusing to help Ahsoka when they’d found her.  
  
Rex frowned.

 Now that he didn’t have a frightened and abused Togruta clinging to him, the circumstances of that situation came back, nagging at him. Kix hadn’t helped; why? The medic had insisted Ahsoka wouldn’t accept it, Ahsoka had even confirmed it, but should he have ordered Kix to help despite her affirmation?  
  
Why hadn’t Kix, who was very close with Ahsoka, been able to help her?  
  
Pushing away from the wall, he turned towards the rear bay where the troopers would be waiting. Ahsoka’s medical exam would take some time; he’d seen the damage with his own eyes and the droid would be hard pressed to complete its job before they arrived back at the _Resolute_ . Which left him time to get some answers.  
  
His hands dropped to his holsters and he gave a start, glancing down with a frown as he realized with a bit of a shock he was short a blaster pistol. With Ahsoka’s condition and in the rush to get her help, he’d never even noticed.

  _Now where…_  
  
He cast his mind back, trying to remember what he’d done with it, and an image of a broken and bloodied _naked_ Ahsoka sprang back to mind. His fist clenched as he could see himself setting his blaster aside to cover her - and not giving it a second thought.  
  
Considering Ahsoka’s condition, he found he couldn’t be surprised he’d left one of his trusty, modified DC-17s behind. Despite the fact the blaster had seen him through many a campaign, he couldn’t lament its loss; it was a trade he’d make again in a heartbeat. That and more. A blaster, no matter how heavily modified, was replaceable. Ahsoka was not.  
  
Shaking his head to clear it, he palmed open the door to the bay to find his troopers deep in discussion. Buckets were off and none of their expressions were anything but grim. Kix and Coric were still in a hushed discussion just outside the bay where the other troopers were seated, their voices low and clipped, obviously arguing, speaking under the general level of the room’s conversation so not to be overhead.  
  
Rex’s entrance was noted immediately with Fives voicing the question that seemed to hang in the air for a heartbeat, even the medics breaking off their discussion to pay attention.  
  
“How is she, Rex?”  
  
“In rough shape,” Rex wasn’t going to sugar coat it for his men; they deserved to know she’d been through hell and the truth would mitigate the gossip. “The Senator is having the medical droid look her over.”  
  
“A droid, sir?” Jesse’s confusion was obvious. “Kix or Coric could-”  
  
“Senator’s orders, Jesse,” Rex was suddenly glad that Jesse had been distracted by battle during the argument he and Kix’d had over the matter on the pirate’s ship.  
  
“Sir?”  
  
“Yes Tup?”  
  
“I… saw her back sir; it looked like she’d been clawed by a wild animal. Are you sure the Commander will be okay?”  
  
Rex wished he could say yes but Ahsoka’s reaction to his presence cautioned him against it. Instead he tried to give them hope. “Until we know exactly what she’s been through, there’s no way of knowing how long her recovery will take. I expect each of you to show some discretion while she is. The Commander, as all of you know, is a resilient young woman and I believe, I _know_ she has the strength to overcome whatever happened to her on that ship.”  
  
There was a grumble and murmur of anger through the room; someone commented that they should turn back and blow the ship out of the sky. Another dissenting voice challenged it, saying they’d come out without casualties, their objective obtained.  
  
The room began to visibly divide, those who’d served with the Commander longest arguing that an attack on her was an attack on Torrent Company; those who were relatively new taking the other side. Mission accomplished; no need for further contact.  
  
Rex stepped in before it got out of hand. “Enough!”  
  
His order cracked through the room, drawing immediate silence. “We have the Commander. The Generals will make the decision on what restitution the pirates will pay-”  
  
“We should go back and wipe them out, sir!”  
  
Rex leveled a hard look at the group in general. “ _If_ and _when,_ knowing General Skywalker as I do, the pirates are to be dealt with, I will _request_ that Torrent Company be given the honor of the assignment. Is that clear?”  
  
“Yes _sir_!”  
  
They spoke as one, all but Fives, snapping to attention with the finality in Rex’s tone.  
  
“Good; Kix, Coric, can I see you in the hall for a moment?”  
  
Fives moved to join them, but Rex gave a minute shake of his head, stopping the ARC with a glance at the room which clearly was an unspoken order to keep the peace. Fives flashed him the faintest of smiles and a nod, moving to the door but not following them through it.  
  
The medics joined Rex in the corridor where he could keep an eye on the medbay door; the _moment_ they were done, he had every intention of being back at Ahsoka’s side. If she wanted him there.  
  
Moving towards it, he stopped just far enough away from the door with their brothers on the other side to not be overheard. Turning to look at Coric and Kix, he examined the older of the two for a moment before turning to the younger. “What do you know?”  
  
“Very little,” it was Coric who replied despite the question being addressed to the other medic. “With Kix being unable to examine her, there’s no way of knowing what she suffered through.”  
  
“Don’t give me that _osik_ ,” Rex snapped. “You may not know, but you damn well suspect something. What is it?”  
  
The medics exchanged looks and this time it was Kix who spoke. “She… might have been raped, sir.”  
  
“Raped?”  
  
Kix nodded, searching his expression, but Rex didn’t know what for. He knew the term; it had been covered in basic as a part of their ‘inappropriate conduct towards civilians’ training. The term, however, meant little without context and, not having context, Rex honestly didn’t know why either medic was so concerned.  
  
“What is rape, Rex?”  
  
“Forced or nonconsensual sexual contact,” Rex replied immediately, the definition springing to mind as if in print before his eyes. Words. Nothing more. “So?”  
  
Kix’s gaze tracked back to the med bay door where Padmé and Ahsoka were closeted. “You were in the room before any of us, what did you see?”  
  
A sight that would probably haunt him for the rest of his life. “The Zygerrian was attacking Ahsoka.”  
  
“Attacking her how?”  
  
“What does it matter? I killed him, pulled him away and covered her so the men wouldn’t see. She’s safe now.” He didn’t want to do this. “Isn’t the fact he attacked her enough?”  
  
“Not in this case, Rex,” Coric assured him reluctantly. “Kix and I differ on interpretation, but depending on what you saw this could be a lot worse than we know and… we can’t help her, or help the men help her, until we know what kind of trauma she’s been through.”  
  
Rex looked from one medic to the other, his jaw tightening with anger. “You want a description.”  
  
“Yes, sir,” Kix’s tone was resigned. “From the point you entered the room to when you covered her with the blanket, what did you see or hear?”  
  
Apparently he was _going_ to do this. His fists clenched and he turned, taking two steps away to distance himself. He couldn’t recount this while looking at them. “Fives blew the lock on the door and we pried it open. I went in first to see... First thing I saw was the hairy back of that _thing_ where it was pinning her to the bed.” Rex closed his eyes, trying not to picture the scene but being unable to help himself.  
  
“She was fighting him,” his voice was rough, harsh, but he didn’t notice, “kicking, clawing, but her knees were spread and he was between them, and she couldn’t… I fired the first shot as he came down on her and she screamed.” He flinched, the sound echoing in his ears even now. He’d _never_ forget it. “I pulled his dead body away but she was…” his fist lashed out, connecting with the durasteel wall at his side, his jaw refusing to work, his lips refusing to go further.  
  
He’d failed Ahsoka, been too late to help her and the guilt was eating at him.  
  
“Sir.”  
  
His eyes opened to the blank hallway.  
  
“Sir, was he naked?”  
  
Rex nodded once, sharply. He’d only noted it only in passing, but that detail was clear.  
  
“Was there a sound at all, Rex, as you pulled him away?”  
  
He rounded on the medics. “What kind of sick-”  
  
“Easy, Captain,” Coric held his hands up in a placating gesture. “It’s a clinical question. The very thought of what you’re describing makes me want to be ill - or break something.” His gaze dropped pointedly to the fisted hand at Rex’s side.  
  
“What does sound have to do with it, Coric?”  
  
“If he raped her, sir, if he was in the… act when you killed him, there could have been a…” Kix trailed off, looking green under his tan.  
  
Rex shook his head. “There was a wet slurping, popping sound,” he reluctantly divulged. “I remember hearing it but I didn’t think anything of it at the time.”  
  
Coric and Kix shared another look.  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“It sounds like the Zygerrian was in the act of raping her when you stepped in, sir,” Kix managed, wincing as he spoke. “He was naked and between her legs, pinning her to the bed-”  
  
“I don’t need you to paint me a picture,” Rex snapped, “I was there!”  
  
“What Kix is trying to say, Rex, is that she’s been… violated,” Coric’s expression and tone were grim, “penetrated by the Zygerrian - sexually.”  
  
The image that blossomed in his head was ugly and brutal when painted with the knowledge of what he’d seen and Rex thought _he_ might be sick. That… _thing_ had… his hand hit the wall again, this time open palmed and his fingers curled inwards, gripping the siding in a kind of death grip as Kix took a step back and Coric held his ground. His words when he spoke were soft, lethally so, daring the medic to confirm them.  
  
“Are you telling me that rape... is _violent_ intercourse?”  
  
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you, Rex.”  
  
Both Coric and Kix went white and then red as he used language over the course of the next thirty seconds that would have made _Fives’_ ears burn. Rex’s hand curled and his fist pressed hard enough against the wall to make the plastoid of his gauntlet creak. The release did nothing to expel the fury within him with their revelation.  
  
“Sir-”  
  
Running both hands over his head and face, Rex found he was shaking. Nothing had ever unnerved like the sight of Ahsoka’s predicament on board the pirate ship but now _knowing_ what he’d witnessed… knowing what he’d seen, what he’d _stopped-_  
  
“You stopped it, sir,” Kix’s voice was quiet as if reading his mind. “You’re the one she turned to in there. That’s why I couldn’t help her. The Commander - _Ahsoka_ ,” he shook his head. “Whatever else happened to her, I don’t think having any of us around her for the moment is a good idea. She... panicked when she saw me. When I got close.”  
  
“There’s a little knowledge on the subject from our flash training but Kix and I will do more research when we get back.”  
  
“The more we know, the better we can help her,” agreed Kix.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Sir?”  
  
Rex dropped his hands, unable to quell the trembling that had caught hold of him. It was bad enough the men knew Ahsoka had been brutalized. If they knew _how_ … they’d see her differently, _treat_ her differently. He knew it instinctively. _He_ wanted to treat her differently and knew he couldn’t. He knew Ahsoka well enough to know that if he did, she’d never forgive him. “The men can’t know. She wouldn’t _want_ them to know.”

 "Sir-"

 " _No_ , Kix," Rex shook his head. "They can't know. This goes no further than we three."

 "What about the General, sir?"

" _No one_ ," Rex reiterated, "Is that understood?"

 Both medics nodded reluctantly.

 "Good." he looked away, back towards the med bay door, "Good."


	4. Chapter 4

Rex wasn’t allowed to see Ahsoka for the remainder of the flight back to the _Resolute_.

 Once the medics had rejoined the troops, Fives approached him briefly, but Rex couldn’t bring himself to give Fives more information that he already had.

 Fives respected Ahsoka for her skills and her treatment of them as individuals and not copies, not because she was a woman or because she was a Jedi. Umbara had given Fives cause to doubt the Jedi mandate and their own ingrained training to trust them, and the ARC trooper now only respected those Jedi he knew personally. Those he’d worked with before and had proven themselves.

 Rex couldn’t anticipate how Fives would react if he knew the extent that Ahsoka had been assaulted and so instead chose not to enlighten him. The same held true for the ARC as the other men. He would likely treat their young commander differently if he knew just how badly she’d been hurt and Rex couldn’t afford a single whisper of gossip. Not that Fives was a gossip but the more men who knew, the better the chance of a slip up.

 When it became apparent that the Senator wasn’t about to let him back into the room, Rex dipped into the cockpit where his General was seated at the controls, double checking the ship’s systems and their coordinates.

 "How is she, Rex?"

 "The Senator kicked me out of the med bay so the droid could examine her, sir," Rex then proceeded to lie through his teeth for Ahsoka's sake. Skywalker knew him well enough to trust him and not pick his thoughts. "We won't know anything certain until it's done."

 Anakin turned in the pilot's seat to look at him, frowning. "I thought Kix was with you when you found her."

 "Yes sir. There wasn't time to examine her."

 "Did she _look_ okay when you found her? Her arms seemed pretty sliced from what I saw."

 Obviously the General hadn't seen the extent of the damage wrought to her back. The blanket had done its job. Rex inwardly sighed, while he couldn't give the General the whole truth, he couldn't lie about this. "I'm no medic but she was... pretty cut up, sir."

 Anakin's concerned look darkened. "Torture?"

  _Of a kind_ . Rex couldn't voice it. Anakin couldn't know of what he'd seen when he'd found Ahsoka. "The Senator should be able to give you a full report when the medical droid is done its examination."

 There was a moment's pause and then Anakin waved to the co-pilot's seat. "Care you keep me company?"

 "Respectfully, sir, I told the Commander I'd be by the door in case she needed anything."

 "Padme can-"

 "She was pretty distraught, sir," it was as far as Rex could bring himself to go. Anything more and Anakin would start asking questions. "She didn't want me to leave the room."

 "Then why did you?"

 "Senator Amidala made it an order." Rex knew, despite already having seen most of Ahsoka's injuries, she wouldn't have wanted him to see them again, let alone anything more. The droid would be doing a full body work up and he knew the procedure could be... invasive. He could only imagine what it would be like for Ahsoka, especially after what he knew she'd suffered. Still, his General knew him well enough to cast him a questioning look and Rex had to expand his reasoning. "I didn't feel it was appropriate I stay, sir."

 Anakin smiled faintly, the barest ghost of one, before his expression turned grim again. "Somehow, I doubt even Padme could keep you out of the room if you felt otherwise, Rex. We'll be coming out of hyperspace in ten."

 "I'll let the men know, sir."

 "Let Padme know too, will you?

 Rex nodded and turned to go, stopping just outside the cockpit door to see a very ill looking Senator standing just outside the med bay doors. Expression darkening, Rex strode straight up to her. "You left her alone?"

 "I couldn't... The droid's almost done." She visibly swallowed, looking as if she were going to be sick, or rather, that she just had been. "Captain..."

 There was a crash from the room and a cry, just loud enough to reach through the door but not down the corridor, and Rex acted without thinking. Pushing the Senator aside, he hit the door controls and only just barely stopped himself from rushing into the room.

  _"Captain!"_

 Ignoring the Senator's indignant shout, Rex scanned the room. Asoka was curled in a corner by the door with her knees drawn to her chest, wide eyes staring at the medical droid lying in a crumpled heap across the room. Rex stepped in and hit the door switch. The sound drew Ahsoka's attention, fear visible in every line of her posture.

 "It's Rex, Ahsoka," he assured her evenly, trying to reassure her. After what he now knew had occurred between her and the Zygerrian, he couldn't really blame her for not wanting the droid, or anyone, anywhere near her. Crossing the room with slow strides, he picked the blanket off the bed and turned, waiting as she watched him. "Can I bring this to you?"

 Her head straightened, as if surprised by his request and then, after a moment's hesitation, jerked once. Using the same, even pace, Rex crossed the room, crouching just an arm's length away, and offered her the blanket.

 Her fingers, normally the same color as the rest of her skin, were bloodless, a sickly orange instead of their normal burnt sienna.

 His expression tightened, staying firmly neutral only by sheer force of will. "You'll need to reach out and take it, Ahsoka." he repeated her name, hoping to draw more than just a look. Perhaps draw some kind of-

 "Captain! What do you think you're doing?"

 He didn't so much as glance in the direction of the door. It was Ahsoka whose head snapped around, her hands coming free and with an angry cry of _"Get out! Get out!"_ as she slammed the Senator back with the Force push.

 The door slid shut.

 Rex heard a gasp and then a body impacting a wall. The _click_ of the lock on the door engaging was loud in the silence. Ahsoka gasped, tears glittering in her eyes and on her lashes but not falling.

 "Ahsoka."

 Her head whipped around his way, what he could only describe as terror lining her features. He swallowed hard. It physically _hurt_ to have her look at him like that. "It's Rex, Ahsoka. I'm not going to hurt you."

 There was a moment where he wasn't certain if he would end up like the Senator and the droid before her shoulders began to tremble and she wrapped her arms around her knees again. "Rex."

 "That's right."

 "You... rescued me?"

 "We got you off Hondo's ship." Her whole body seemed to curl in on itself with the mention of the Pirate. "You're on board the _Twilight_ , Ahsoka. I'm not going to let anything happen to you here."

 "Rex."

 "That's right." Easing forward, he kept his gaze on hers as he carefully, slowly, shifted the blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. Her hand shot out as he pulled it around the front of her body, gripping his tightly.

 "Rex."

 "I'm here."

 There was a high pitched whine as the ship suddenly came out of hyperspace, only Rex's planted position saving him from falling backwards. Ahsoka was thrown forward, into his arms, clutching it with enough of a grip he could feel it through his gauntlet. Unthinkingly, he tucked her close to his body, turning as she off balanced him, his shoulder hitting the wall as the ship decelerated too quickly for the inertial compensators to handle.

 Ahsoka, much to his surprise, stayed where she was despite the fact her body was as rigid as armor in his grasp. Her face turned his way, as if she needed to _see_ him to assure herself she wasn't imagining things. "Rex?"

 "I'm not going anywhere, Ahsoka," he assured her gruffly. He could only imagine what she'd done to survive the horrors of Hondo's ship. "We should be on final approach to the _Resolute_ . When we get there, can you walk out of here?"

 She hesitated, seeming to take stock of her condition - her flinch and cringe made him want to go back and kill the Zygerrian again and again - and then she shook her head. Her words were soft, shamed, and she turned her face away. "I can't walk, Rex, it... it _hurts_ to... to..."

 "Not your fault," he assured her, not wanting to distress her further. "Probably best you don't walk," he reflected. "You'd be giving the men an eyeful." She flinched, cringing away again, and Rex tried another tactic. "I could carry you out of here and to your room."

 "My room."

 "On the _Resolute_ ," he clarified, wondering if she'd made the connection. "You're almost home, Ahsoka." On the heels of his words, Rex could feel the vibration of the landing gear extending through the deck plates of the ship.

"Home," tears slid down her cheeks as she whispered the word and Rex would have given a lot in that moment to know what she was thinking. Closing her eyes, her head tilted forward and touched his breastplate, her shoulders shaking as a soft, ragged sob escaped.

 Rex froze.

 It took him a moment to realize what was happening, to correlate her actions with the sounds and when he did, the knowledge was astounding. _Ahsoka's crying._ Was it a belated shock reaction? Was she _supposed_ to cry? He didn't know. Nothing in his training had prepared him for this.

 With one hand clutched within her grasp, the blanket still stuck within his fingers, and now curled tightly under her chin and pressed against her clavicle, Rex wasn't given a lot of options. His free hand touched her shoulder hesitantly and, when she didn't pull away, he carefully ran his hand down her arm, not daring to touch her further.

 There was a soft hiccupping gasp as she struggled to control her tears and almost as quickly as it had come, the crying bout stopped. Ahsoka lifted her head and Rex dropped his hand, unable to reclaim the one she still had trapped. Looking into her eyes, protective instincts roared to the forefront upon seeing her vulnerably shattered look. He'd have done anything to restore the confident young woman he'd always known in those moments but was at a loss where to start.

 "I can carry you out of here, Ahsoka, if you'll let me."

 "Take me home, Rex," she agreed, her voice husky, tears suddenly gone.

 "There should be another blanket in the cupboard by the bed," he told her, nodding back towards where the bed, wishing it had occurred to _someone_ to bring her a change of clothes. "We should cover you as much as possible until we can find you something to wear."

 Whatever he was saying seemed to have the right effect. Ahsoka nodded and released his fingers, tenting the blanket, already around her shoulders, more fully around her body. Rex tried not to notice the long lines of her legs or the scratches and gouges that crisscrossed them as he rose to his feet and crossed towards the bunk.

 He found the extra blankets where he expected them to be, pulling out a couple and heading back towards Ahsoka. The door was surprisingly silent, the Senator seeming to have given up, and Rex took a moment to cast a glance at the medical droid. He frowned, seeing it had some kind of a long, smooth, phallic shaped instrument in hand, and suddenly Ahsoka's reaction made sense.

  _Stupid droid. I should have stayed in the room. If I had-_

 If he had, Ahsoka would never have forgiven him no matter what tests the droid had been trying to do. And he wouldn't have talked to Kix and Coric to _know_ what he'd stopped. _Knowledge_ , he reflected grimly, _isn't always an advantage._

 Turning away from the droid, he walked back towards his Commander, trying not to notice how young and vulnerable and _lost_ she looked draped in just the one blanket. The medical blankets weren't much better than the one she had on, but he suspected she'd be glad for its loss. Unfolding the squares, he felt a brief bump as the landing skids touched the deck.

 The _Twlight_ was home.

 "Ahsoka?"

 She looked up at him as he offered the square and nodded. Rex wrapped it around her shoulders and tugged the other one away, discarding it somewhere behind him. Without pausing, he unfurled the second sheet - and then stopped. How was he going to get it around her?

 Ahsoka seemed to see his dilemma and one trembling hand reached his way. Grasping it, he locked his arm as she began to pull herself upwards. Seeing her intent, he helped, getting her to her feet as she swayed, and assisted her in leaning against the wall. It was only for a moment as he wrapped the second sheet around her waist, covering her from hip to toes.

 Rex gave her his back as she adjusted the temporary covers, turning only when she finally spoke again.

 "Rex."

 She'd freed her arms and made herself a kind of sheet dress that practically covered her from neck to foot. And she was swaying. Rex put his arms out as her legs gave out, Ahsoka clutching him with a pained cry. He said nothing as he offered her a silent carry.

 Ahsoka visibly swallowed and nodded, wrapping shaking arms around his shoulders and back as he scooped her up. Rex moved towards the door and had her unlock and open it, putting her in control of the situation momentarily. It seemed to calm her, to help her, and Rex made note of it.

"Where to?"

 "My room," she told him in an undertone, tucking her face against his shoulder and not looking around. "I can't-"

 "I know." Unthinkingly, he turned his head to press his lips against her nearest montral. "I'll get you there. I've got you, okay?"

 Tense though she was, she nodded.

 "Rex!"

 He turned, spying Fives down the hall even as he picked up the sound of an argument from the cockpit. The Senator and General, no doubt. Rex spared them no additional thought as he strode down the hallway.

 Fives and the other men who'd been on the mission were waiting, lining the ramp, and Rex was all business despite the Jedi in his arms. "Form up. Dignitary parade formation alpha one through the deck." There was a murmur of surprise that was quickly quelled with a look. "Commander's orders."

  _"Fall in."_

 Rex felt Ahsoka flinch at Fives' snapped order, wishing he could offer her further reassurance but knowing he couldn't without the men asking even more questions. As it was, having Ahsoka cling to him to get onto the ship during the rescue was one thing. Having her unable to leave under her own power would spark more gossip than he could quell. But he'd try - when she _wasn't_ clutching him in a death grip.

 The men moved, Rex going with them, forming a barricade against anyone who would dare approach. He knew it was a risk, but Ahsoka's lack of proper attire, her walking or not, would have caused speculation one way or another. This way, at least, she wasn't about to be swarmed by men inquiring about her health or general status.

 As they marched through the hangar deck, men from Torrent Company, who'd obviously come to welcome their Commander home, gave way, silence spreading across the area as they took in the scene. Murmurs started, making Rex's expression darken, but he couldn't address the issue at that moment without exposing Ahsoka to more. "Coric."

 "Sir?"

 "The men?"

 His second in command saluted and exited the formation, going to take control of the Company. Rex gave them very little thought as they exited the bay and turned towards the turbo lift. Fives keyed in the codes, glancing back his way, the ARC's gaze dropping to Ahsoka with a question in their depths. Rex shook his head fractionally; this was neither the time nor the place.

 The lift opened and Rex stepped past the men, turning to address Fives. "Take care of the men, _vod_."

 Fives nodded as the doors closed and Rex inwardly braced himself for what he knew would be coming. "Ahsoka?"

 "Are we there yet, Rex?"

 "Soon. You should see a medic."

 She recoiled so violently, he nearly dropped her. _"No!"_

 "Ahsoka, you can't even walk. You should be in the medbay where they can take care of you."

 "No! _No!_ " She struggled against his hold. "I can walk - I can walk! No med bays, no medics, I swear I can walk!"

 "Ahsoka!" Rex snapped her name, tightening his grip so he didn't lose her. Her panic hit him between the shoulder blades with the force of a sneak attack. "Ahsoka, stop it. You're just going to hurt yourself more!"

 "Let me go! I'll prove it... I'll..."

 "No med bay," he relented. "No med bay, Ahsoka. No medics." She settled, quaking, and Rex regretted saying anything, readjusting his grip on her. Blood from reopened cuts as she'd struggled was seeping through the fabric across her thighs and hips. "We still need to get you cleaned up and healed."

 "You do it."

 "You know I'm not a medic."

 "You've done it before."

 "Nothing like this."

 Rex wasn't sure he'd be able to contain himself if he intimately knew the extent of the damage done to her. He might have seen her injuries at a glance before he'd covered her on Hondo's ship, and in the interim whenever she'd lost her blanket, but there was a difference between seeing something and fixing it. If he had to examine and patch each of her wounds, he didn't know how he'd ever sleep again. Of course, he wasn't sure he'd sleep for days knowing what he did know, so what was a little more?

 "Please, Rex?"

 He sighed, giving in. "Okay, Ahsoka. We'll do it your way."


	5. Chapter 5

Rex left Ahsoka in her quarters to shower and change while he collected what he'd need from the medical bay. Fortunately, Kix had already reported in and was able to provide him with what he needed.

 Tending Ahsoka's wounds was everything he'd feared it would be. She didn't want him to touch her, and yet she refused to let anyone else near her. Suggesting the Senator, or another female, had gotten him nowhere but glared at.

 That, more than anything, was the most disturbing. Ahsoka was showing flashes of anger he'd never seen before. Flashes of a darker side of her nature she'd always held in careful check. It was something he'd have to bring to the General's attention if it didn't change, but for now he'd hold his peace. She’d been through a traumatizing experience and she had every right to be upset.

 Ahsoka needed him to be there for her, to be her friend, and that was what Rex intended to be.

 It took Rex almost two hours, upon their return to the _Resolute_ , to tend and patch Ahsoka's injuries. He left additional supplies for her to tend the ones he refused to look at, notably the ones across and up her inner thighs and breasts. When he was finished, he packed away the medical supplies and slipped them under her bunk. Her dressings on a few of them would need to be changed in the morning and he didn't want to have to explain a return trip to the medbay.

 Keeping the extent and severity of Ahsoka's injuries minimized to the rest of the men was important.

 Leaving her with a brief good night and a promise to check in on her later, Rex returned to the barracks, relieved to find it deserted as it was, he realized, meal time. Not the least bit hungry, he stepped into his room.

 Tossing his bucket on the bunk, Rex undid his gauntlets, pausing as he noted the russet stains on the white plastoid. Shucking his kit with almost indecent haste, he examined it carefully, grinding his teeth together as he noted just how much russet, how much of _Ahsoka's blood,_ stained the armor.

 Images of her injuries, and which ones would have caused each series of stains, flashed through his mind. Images he'd never get out of his head. With the curse, he lashed out and sent the kit to the floor with a _crash_.

  _If I_ ever _get my hands on the pirate who gave her to that..._ thing _... he's going to die a slow and painful death, screaming his guts out!_

 Exhaling and inhaling deeply as he tried to calm his anger, Rex flexed his hands one at a time, exerting his considerable force of will to bring himself back in line. Anger and frustration against the man who'd captured her wouldn't solve anything. Ahsoka was free of them, no longer their prisoner, and back on the _Resolute_ where she belonged.

 A knock sounded at his door as he was collecting the pieces of his kit and tossing them back onto his bunk. "Come in."

 Kix, looking a little taken aback by the armor plates that were still littering his room, stood in his doorway. "Is... this a bad time, sir?"

 "No." Rex scooped a thigh guard and his kama from the floor, tossing them back to his bunk. "What can I do for you, Kix?"

 "It's about the Commander," Kix glanced apprehensively back towards the empty barracks. "I can come back later if you'd rather, sir, but I thought now would be the best time..."

 "Take a seat," waving him to the only chair in his room, Rex continued to collect his armor, reaching under the bunk to collect one gauntlet. His lips thinned as he couldn't avoid the dried crimson slash and it hit the covers with a little more force than the rest. "What about the Commander?"

 "How is she, Rex?" Kix didn't sit, but he did step in far enough to let the door close behind him, going so far as to collect the two pieces of armor nearest him and add them to the pile. Rex saw the medic's eyes take in the slashes of dark red across his kit with an impassive expression. "And not the 'rough shape' rhetoric you gave everyone else, okay?"

 "She's in a bad way, Kix," bile rose in the back of his throat just thinking about it as Rex collected the last of his armor and settled next to it on the bed. Leaning against the wall, he regarded the medic. "Sit. I don't want to make it an order."

 Kix sat, but on the kit locker at the end of the bunk. They stared at one another for several moments before the medic broke the silence. His voice was soft and even. Professional. "If you can give me details, sir, I might be able to help with her treatment."

 Rex exhaled, his fingers flexing against his thigh. "Bruises the size of a man's hand from shoulder to knee and clawed gashes across her back, hips and thighs. Eight on her back and thighs needed bandaging, as did where that creature's claws pierced her on the hips."

 "She should be in a bacta tank!"

 "I _know_ that, Kix!" Rex snapped back and then held up one hand in apology. "I know, but she won't go and she still outranks me. Nothing I've said or done can convince her otherwise."

 "I could-"

 "No."

 "But sir, if she doesn't-"

 "She won't see you, Kix," closing his eyes, Rex felt as if he could sleep for a week. The rescue mission had taken hours, and felt instead like it had taken weeks, months even. But even as he thought of sleep, the images of Ahsoka's injuries, of how she'd _gotten_ those injuries, had his eyes snapping open. "If you try and order her into a bacta tank, she'll know you know about her injuries and _I_ won't be able to see her."

 "And if she goes to the bacta tank, the men in the medical bay will see," Kix flinched. "Were there any signs of infection?"

 "Nothing yet, thankfully. I'll keep an eye on her and I'll have to change her bandages tomorrow," Rex rubbed his face with both hands. "I didn't... in addition to that, she's got minor scratches and a nasty bite mark on the neck. One of her lekku is bruised and the montral on the same side is scraped and-" cataloging her issues for the medic was suddenly too much. " _Fek_ , Kix! How do you and Coric do this?"

 "Because we have to, sir. Knowing the injuries of a patient and sharing them with another medic not directly involved in the situation has been known to save lives."

 "She couldn't die from this, could she?"

 "I honestly don't know, sir. For the moment though, it sounds as if rudimentary medical care is all she will accept. You could always offer to have her put in the bacta tank later to try and eliminate some of the scarring that's bound to occur."

 Scarring. Ahsoka, Rex suspected, wouldn't want _any_ physical reminders of her ordeal. "I'll mention it to her. It might be the way to get her into a tank."

 "There's more."

 "Then spit it out, Kix. I need a shower and time to clean up this mess before I return to check in on her."

 "I'll keep this quick."

 The revelations from the medic over the next few minutes made Rex glad he was sitting down. Well beyond his experience and knowledge, Kix spoke of things Rex had never before heard about let alone encountered and now, it would seem, had no choice but to deal with.

 “I’ll keep digging, sir,” Kix finally offered, subdued, “but you’ve got your work cut out for you if this follows anything like the documented cases Coric and I have already found.”

 As the information swirled around in his head without making a lot of sense, Rex was inclined to agree. “Whatever information you can find to help me with her is appreciated, Kix,” Rex assured him, rubbing one hand on the back of his neck. “We weren’t exactly trained for this.”

 “I don’t think anyone ever expected it could happen to a Jedi, sir.”

 The unvoiced thought, _‘especially a Jedi as skilled as Ahsoka’_ , hung between them. Despite himself, Rex couldn’t help but wonder at the methods that had been used to subdue her so effectively and put her at the mercy of her captors.

 Eventually, Rex hoped to be given some clue as to _how_ she’d been overcome, not the violence, but the method that had left her so vulnerable. The medical droid’s records had been retrieved and patched through to him, courtesy of Kix, showing trace amounts of a paralytic agent still in her system.

 Rex had let the medics slip that little detail to the men to explain why, after being in hyperspace and away from the pirate’s ship for hours, she’d still been unable to walk. He wasn’t about to let them make up their own story when a grain of truth would placate most of them.

 Exhaling a long breath, Rex agreed. “I don’t think anyone did, Kix. I’d better finish up and get back to her. She didn’t like me leaving.”

 Kix regarded him for a moment and the nodded, indicating the mess on the bed. “I’ll take care of your armor while you hit the showers, Rex.”

 Much as he didn’t relish the idea of cleaning his kit, Rex shook his head. “I’ll do it.”

 “Respectfully, sir, I know a trick or two that you don’t for getting blood off without damaging your paint job.” Kix motioned for him to go, reaching for the nearest piece. “I should be done by the time you’re out.”

 Grateful, Rex pushed to his feet. “I’ll be back in ten.”

* * *

 

 That night, Ahsoka locked herself away. She refused to see Padme and denied Anakin access to her quarters. Refusing to even answer the comm. when Fives and Coric stopped by, she opened the door to Rex alone.

 She sat with the lights on; huddled in the largest clothing she owned and covered from neck to ankle, with her back to the wall at the end of her bed. Her gaze remained locked on the door, waiting, _dreading_ Hondo's appearance even as she consciously struggled to tell herself that these were her _personal_ quarters on board the _Resolute_ and not the opulent, decadent space Hondo preferred.

  _I'm safe. Rex said so._

  _Nothing can hurt me here. Rex said so._

 The litany was mostly borne of desperation, her senses attuned to the ship around her and nearly deafening, confusing even, after almost a week without them. With the Force once again at her call, the feeling of being dampened, of being half a person and slow to thought and reaction, had faded. It was like being able to see, to breathe, and to _feel_ , after being denied them for an eternity.

 The last thing, however, that she wanted was to _feel_.

 Feeling reminded her of what she _hadn’t_ been feeling this last week. Of her weaknesses and her inability to defend herself the way she should have been able to. _Feeling_ reminded her that she _should_ have been able to prevent the assaults and that, in any other forum, she would have.

 Part of her was numb, still reeling from the shift in her reality back to a normal that would never feel normal again.

 The knock at her door made her jump, fear spiking through her before she could control it. _Not again!_ The reaction was just that and she was able to quell it by one simple thought. Hondo had never knocked - except at the ‘fresher. She shuddered. Her comlink went off at that moment and she keyed it on, recognizing the frequency. Her voice was hoarse and slightly shaky saying his name. “Rex.”

  _“It’s me, Ahsoka. May I come in?”_

 He didn’t need to ask, but the fact that he _did_ was reassuring. “Yes.”

 Not bothering to get up, she stayed where she was, huddled against the wall, as Rex keyed in the code to unlock her door. A code he’d changed before leaving earlier at her request. She didn’t know it anymore and, as a result, couldn’t be coerced into giving it.

 No threat or tactic could make her surrender it and, because it still hurt to walk, she couldn’t open the door manually either. Rex appeared in the doorway, the smell of antiseptic following him in and wafting her way as he secured the door. He carried a tray in one hand, dressed in his armor still, and Ahsoka found her posture relaxing as she regarded him.

 He was reassuring in his armor. Unthreatening. Clone troopers, especially the familiar 501 st distinctive blue pattern, meant safety. They’d been the ones to rescue her, to pull her out of the nightmare, though it didn’t yet seem real, and Ahsoka found she was afraid that she’d suddenly wake to find herself at the mercy of Atai or Hondo.

 She tensed when he stopped near the bed, standing at the end of it, watching her with the same stoic expression he’d been wearing since finding her, only his eyes speaking his concern. Rex nodded to her side table, tilting the tray, and a delicious aroma wafted her way as he spoke. “I brought you dinner. May I?”

  Ahsoka stared at him almost blankly. When had she eaten last? She couldn’t remember and her stomach growled as the _smell_ of it reached her. Nodding, her gaze remained on the try as Rex set it down beside her and then retreated to the chair he’d left at the side of her bed. Looking from him to the tray and back, Ahsoka swallowed before finding her voice.

 “Thank you, Rex.”

 He nodded, but said nothing, motioning for her to go ahead. A little self-conscious, she pulled the cover off the food and set it aside, hesitating when she saw what was there. Two plates of streaks. Nuna steaks, if she wasn’t mistaken. She looked questioningly at Rex and he smiled faintly.

 “I know you don’t like to eat alone. I thought I’d join you.”

 “Steak?”

 “A little welcome home present from the boys in the mess.” His expression was once again solemn.

 Ahsoka recoiled. “They don’t… they’re not… do they _know_ -”

 “No.”

 She swallowed hard, waiting, pleading silently with him to expound on the answer and Rex, to her relief, did.

 “They know you were captured, Ahsoka, not the circumstances behind it. This is their way of saying they… missed you.”

 Her throat closed as her gaze went back to the steaks. Missed her; the young woman they’d missed no longer existed. Ahsoka might have come home, but she wasn’t the same as when she’d left, couldn’t even contemplate who she’d been.

 A thought rose unbidden.

 Would the men want something from her? Some kind of favor, as Hondo had always demanded? Would she be required to _show_ her appreciation in some fashion? She shuddered, the very idea of having to thank the men for their thoughtfulness, touching as it was, terrifying.

 “I can’t…” she slapped the cover back on the tray and scooted back and away, trembling as she shook her head in denial. “Take it away, Rex.”

 “You need to eat something.”

 “I’m not hungry.”

 “When was the last time you ate?”

 “I don’t remember,” she shook her head. “I’m not hungry, Rex.”

 “Ahsoka-”

 “I said I’m _not hungry_!”

 Rex recoiled as she screamed at him. It wasn’t much more than a twitch that put him back in his chair as if she’d struck him, but it was a recoil all the same.

 Ahsoka cringed, hugging her knees to her chest again, anticipating a backlash from him that was as irrational as it was real. Rex, she knew logically, would never hurt her, but Hondo had managed to drive home the price of failure. Her whole body clenched, unbidden, in anticipation for fighting back and holding off the abuse it _knew_ would follow.

 Amber eyes watched her for a moment and Rex’s jaw tightened, his voice earnest and firm, but gentle. “I won’t hurt you, Ahsoka.”

 The conviction in his words humbled her. She turned her face away, drawing her knees that much closer to her chest. He was far enough away not to crowd her but not, perversely, close enough to reassure her. It was a conundrum. She wanted him around but didn’t.

 Rex, in his masculinity, represented everything she’d come to fear this last week. Contrarily, he also represented everything she found comforting, every hope she’d clung to while waiting to get off Hondo’s ship. He was her best friend and confidant - yet he hadn’t been there when she’d needed him most.

 Silence stretched between them and Ahsoka belatedly realized he was waiting for an answer to his statement. One she couldn’t give. She _knew_ Rex wouldn’t hurt her, but she _felt_ differently. Men, all men, were now a source of fear so strong it bordered on terror. Ahsoka couldn’t honestly reassure him and so remained silent.

 When it was obvious she wouldn’t answer, Rex took it upon himself to break the silence. “You need to eat to regain your strength, Ahsoka. To heal.”

 Her heart jumped in her chest. “Why?”

 “What?”

 “Why, Rex? What do they get out of it? What do I…” her voice broke, “what do I have to do?”

 “Do?” He blinked, taken aback. “This is a welcome home gesture, Ahsoka. A _gift_ from the men. You being here, being back, is enough.”

 “But I’m not back,” she tightened her grip, feeling the bandages and bacta patches strain and pull against the pressure she was exerting on her body. “I can’t…”

 “You will be,” Rex asserted, his conviction both buoying and crushing. “It might not be the same and it might take you a long time to get there, but you will be. You’ll get better. You’ll _be_ better.”

 Tears flooded her eyes. “I don’t see how.”

 “The same way you’ve overcome every other obstacle that’s been in your path - through sheer stubbornness and will.” He smiled faintly before it died, suddenly solemn. “I’m glad you’re safe now.”

 “Safe.” She choked on the word. “I feel like I’m going to jump out of my skin! I keep expecting to suddenly wake up and find _this,_ ” she waved at the room, “and you are nothing but a dream. I keep expecting Ho… _him_ to come through that door and-”

 “He can’t hurt you anymore, Ahsoka. He’s dead.”

 A near hysterical laugh built inside the back of her throat but never found voice. Dead. Hondo was dead? But Rex’s next words made her heart sink.

 “I shot him when I found you. Two bolts straight to the back of the head.”

  _He thinks I’m talking about Atai_ .

 She shivered and readjusted her grip on herself, swallowing hard and unable to help the chill that swept her. For all Atai had done to her, Hondo had been worse. Far worse. As his prisoner for days and subjected to his methods of ‘breaking her in’ for Atai, Ahsoka had learned the hard way that sometimes, even fighting as hard as you could, you failed.

 Lessons she’d learned in other forums, but never so personally or intimately and never at such a personal cost.

 There was no way she was telling Rex about Hondo. Not after he’d failed to save her from the Weequay. Rational or not, that anger remained with her, resentment that now boiled over into an irrational explosion.

 “You were too late, Rex!” The words slipped her lips, higher pitched than intended and accusatory. “ _Too late!_ What he did to me, what he made me _do_ , what he _wanted_ me to do - you were _too late_!”

 “Ahsoka-”

 “Get out,” she lashed out, sending the tray crashing to the ground with a sweep of one arm, ignoring the sting of bruised flesh hitting the hard object. _“Get out and leave me alone!”_

 Rex didn’t move.

 Staring at him, her chest heaving, vision blurred by tears, Ahsoka pointed one trembling hand at the door. “Go away.”

 “No.”

 He stared at her and Ahsoka stared right back at him, feeling the steadiness of his gaze in a way that settled in her chest around her heart. His refusal wasn’t malicious. She could see it in every line of his posture.

 “I don’t want you here, Rex. _Go away_!” her voice cracked this time, the anger disappearing as quickly as it had come. “Please.”

The creak of his armor as he stood drew her chin up, feeling the moisture stinging her eyes as she blinked, refusing to wipe her eyes and bring his attention to it even as she struggled to keep the tears from falling.

 “I’m sorry this happened to you Ahsoka. I’m here if you need me.” He turned to go and paused, looking back to her. “I’ll check on you in the morning.”

 “I don’t-”

 “Tough,” he headed for the door and then paused again, without looking back this time. “And Ahsoka?”

 “What?”

 “It’s okay to cry.”


	6. Chapter 6

**_Day One -_ Resolute _\- Post Ahsoka’s Captivity_**

 Rex didn’t sleep that night.

 He would have preferred to be in the gym, working off his frustrations, but his change of routine would have been noted. Not wanting to draw more attention to Ahsoka’s situation than was necessary, which included being asked questions he’d rather avoid, he refrained.

 Staying in his room, catching up on paperwork and schedules, his chrono said almost oh three hundred before the burn behind his eyes had him lifting his hand to rub them. As he closed his eyes to do just that, the images of Ahsoka’s injuries blossomed immediately and he snapped them open again, reaching for the next duty roster.

 Night dragged, his tasks for the next three months completed before the end of the hour, leaving him with one more before he could hit the showers and then look in on the Padawan. It was an hour that he spent trying to forget what he’d seen and heard only to realize he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to.

 Needing something to do, Rex set himself to pushups, using his bunk as leverage, doing a couple dozen regular ones before realizing he needed some other kind of distraction. Regular pushups weren’t enough to engage the mind. Changing his position, he put his feet on his bunk and did one handed pushups, two dozen with the left and then two dozen with the right, before checking his chrono again.

 Barely five minutes had passed.

 Setting his chrono timer for the hour, a signal he could leave his quarters without raising suspicions, Rex switched to a series of abdominal curls. When that proved to be less than absorbing, he began alternating between curls, doing sets of fifty before switching back to left handed pushups for fifty, curls for another fifty and then doing fifty right handed pushups. When that didn’t prove to be enough, he added a series of abdominal twist curls for other muscle groups.

 His body responded as it always had, but his mind refused to quiet. It refused, now that it had nothing left to occupy it, to think of anything except Ahsoka. How he’d found her, what she’d looked and sounded like. Carrying her off the ship and the harrowing escape that had led to her medical exam and the exam itself, her injuries ingrained behind his eyelids.

 If he lived to be one hundred, those images would likely never fade. Just as the feel of her skin and blood as he’d tended her wounds still seemed to be ingrained on his hands despite his earlier shower. Her refusal to seek professional medical attention had landed him with the job, not that he’d minded as he’d have preferred to spare her the necessity of having her injuries on report, but she should really have been in a bacta tank.

 The _how_ of her injuries, however, was what got him the most. Rape had been downplayed in the Clone database, intentionally so if he knew the longnecks. So much so that the word, until Coric and Kix had explained it to him, had simply been another part of his training. If he’d known before... which, he reflected as his hands clenched into fists as he did his next set of curls, was probably why they weren’t trained further.

 What was he supposed to do with Ahsoka?

 The question haunted him now that he’d had time to reflect and step away from everything. It was the question he’d been trying to avoid thinking too heavily on and the one he couldn’t afford to. He needed a plan of attack and based on everything that Kix and Coric had given him, which was precious little, it was mostly a series of dos and don’ts along with a very fundamental caution that Ahsoka might have something called triggers.

 He didn’t really understand any of this.

 All he knew was that his Commander, his _best friend_ had been subjected to something horrible she was unable to move past. Not unlike shinies who saw brothers and squad mates disemboweled or severed in half and close enough to see the insides of the armor. Some of them never recovered and were sent back to Kamino.

 Rex paused in his curl, considering the angle and then dismissed it. While the symptoms appeared to be the same, the traumas were very different. Or so he believed. He struggled to understand the whys and, for all he wanted to support her, that confusion wasn’t going to help him.

 Eventually, sweat beading his forehead, his muscles starting to feel a twinge from the impromptu work out, his timer sounded. A quick look at the chrono and he was on his feet, grabbing his towel and out of his room, heading for the ‘freshers.

 A quick shower and change and he’d hand the roster to Coric before going to check on Ahsoka. Hopefully she’d be in better shape today and they could put this whole episode behind them quickly. For all he hoped for it, Rex had a sinking feeling what he wanted couldn’t be further from what he would get.

* * *

 

Hunger got the better of Ahsoka around oh five thirty.

 Moving her protesting muscles, the aches and pains of her injuries a stark reminder of just how badly she’d been hurt, Ahsoka sucked back a moan as she separated her legs only to close them tightly. Her muscles protested the movement after being inactive for the extended period of time and she bit her lip as she struggled to shift with some semblance of normalcy.

 Giving up after several minutes, she looked at the food. Then, with her stomach not willing to wait for Rex, she slid across her bed and slipped to the floor before dragging herself over to where she’d sent the food containers Rex had brought her the night before, flying.

 An inspection showed that the lid had saved the food for the most part. Flipping the lid upside down, she examined the mess before her. Vegetables and greens were wilted and smashed. One of the two tubers was as flat as a plate and some of the food had hit the floor, rendering it spoiled after spending the night there. The steaks and plates were practically one set of food.

 Cold though it was, she plucked the first steak from the nest of dented dishes and put it in the lid. The intact tuber followed, carefully brushing it free of the other vegetables before she collected the second steak.

 It was in her fingers and at her lips before she consciously remembered doing so. The first piece, cold though it was, tasted like heaven. It wasn’t a normal ration, saved mostly for Jedi special functions, and a part of her was suddenly feeling guilty she’d cheated Rex of the-

 A knock sounded on her door and her head snapped up, her eyes widening as she swallowed hard, the food turning to a ball of durasteel in her stomach. _Hondo._ The lid slipped from her hands to the floor, forgotten as the door opened and she scrambled backwards, unmindful of her injuries, hitting the bed and cowering beside it, aware she was in no shape to fight whatever might be in store for her. _Hondo was back, he was here to-_

 “Ahsoka?”

 She jumped at the deep voice, so different from the almost jovial tones the pirate had always used. Shaking, her eyes lifted to the doorway, her heart beating furiously in her chest as the man in the doorway stepped just over the threshold and closed the door behind him, locking it.

 “Ahsoka, it’s Rex.”

 She gasped for breath, unable to quell her trembling, still not accepting of the fact that she was home, still waiting for the trick, the _illusion_ to end and reveal Hondo in all his sadistic fervency. Another shudder ripped through her frame and she clasped her arms around her knees, hugging them tightly to her chest as she buried her face. Tears threatened to fall, burning at the backs of her eyes, panic rendering her speechless.

 His booted feet, a tread she’d have known anywhere and about as far from Hondo’s undisciplined walk as it could get, drew near.

 “Ahsoka.” Rex’s tone was firm but his voice was gentle. “Ahsoka, look at me.”

 Swallowing hard, she lifted her head, unaware that her eyes were as wide as the steaks forgotten in the lid several feet away, and watering. “R-Rex?”

 “That’s right, little ‘un,” he told her softly, gently. “It’s me.”

 “It can’t be.”

 “It is,” he assured her. He was crouched just out of arm’s length and, even as she watched, he extended his hand towards her, slowly, deliberately. “Take my hand.”

 She didn’t want to. Every instinct was screaming at her to move away from him, but Ahsoka found she’d been caught by the earnestness in his amber orbs. Rex’s expression was neutral, but his eyes spoke volumes and everything in his posture was concern, not aggressive. Under other circumstances, she’d probably have marveled that he could look so… nonthreatening.

 Ahsoka shook her head. “You can’t-”

 “Take my hand Ahsoka,” he urged her again when she couldn’t finish the sentence. “I won’t grab you. I promise.”

 Rex waiting, patiently, and when it seemed he wasn’t going to leave her be, Ahsoka finally did as he asked, stretching out one trembling hand to his. If he noticed, he made no move and didn’t say so, simply waited patiently, his gaze never leaving hers. Her fingers touched his hand hesitantly, a tap before pulling back swiftly. She frowned, having felt the plastoid of his gauntlet, her hand moving back to his almost of its own accord. This time she touched his fingers again and, sliding her hands against it, she wrapped her hand around it, clinging to him.

 He _was_ here. It wasn’t a dream. “Rex.”

 “I’m here,” he assured her again, his gaze still locked on hers as her hand suddenly pulled away from his as if burned. He frowned. “Ahsoka?”

 She shuddered, her gaze dropping to what she’d been nibbling on, and Rex’s gaze followed hers. He collected the food, placing it on her bed while giving her lots of room. _Too far_ a part of her screamed even as her body shook, telling her he was _too close_. The conflict left her paralyzed as the yearning to be held caught her completely off guard.

 “Ahsoka?”

 Her gaze shot back to his.

 Rex was silent for a moment before nodding to the food. “Hungry?”

 She said nothing, couldn’t even bring herself to nod and show that minor weakness - and then her stomach growled.

 Rex said nothing, looking at her and then back to the food and the mess on the floor. In silence, he knelt to the trays that were still where she’d left them, cleaning up the mess and taking them to the disposal. He came back within moments with the empty places and took the contents of the lid and placed them on one plate. As she watched, he moved to her desk and, at a distance, pulled his knife and began slicing up the steaks.

 Her throat went dry, the automatic response to his kindness echoing through her mind as she wondered what he’d expect her to do for him in return. Just as quickly as the thought crossed her mind, the part of herself that trusted Rex, the part that had _known_ he would come for her, demanded she retract it. This was _Rex_. He never asked her for anything. _Would_ never ask her for anything.

 She was still struggling with that response when he came back, weapons sheathed, and set the plate with the carefully cut food on the bed next to her.

 Watching him, she waited until he retreated and, after a moment he spoke unexpectedly. “The only thing I expect from you, Ahsoka, is that you eat. Understood?” Her eyes widened impossibly further as she looked at him. Rex retreated towards the door. “Are you okay by yourself for a little while?”

 “You’re leaving me?”

 He flinched, an echo of her own, at the waver in her voice. “I need to report to the General.” Even to Ahsoka’s skewed hearing, he sounded reluctant to go. “He’s concerned that you’re not letting him in to see you.”

 “I don’t want him here.” She didn’t notice the shrill tone in her voice. “I don’t want anyone here. I just want to be left alone!”

 Rex was stoic in the face of her cry. “And yet, you don’t want me to leave.”

 Ahsoka choked on her breath, shrinking back against the bed, the will to protest leaving her as swiftly as it had swept through her. “You promised you wouldn’t.”

 “And I won’t.” he agreed, “but you know I can’t stay with you all the time, Ahsoka. You need to rest. You need to heal. The sooner you’re back on your feet, the sooner you can shadow me like normal.” He paused. “It might help you feel better to do the routine you used to.”

 “Get out Rex,” the words were supposed to come out forcefully, but they sounded weak, even to herself and inwardly she cringed. She hated being weak. She hated _looking_ weak, even though she had no fight left and she _knew_ Rex would never hurt her. Exhausted and, as Rex had said, badly hurt, Ahsoka knew she needed to heal.

 “I’ll be back to check your wounds when I’m done with the General. Try to eat something - please.”

 The door closed on him before she could respond, leaving her locked, once again, in her room, safe from the men on the outside and left to her own devices in a place where Rex, and only Rex, could see her.

 Reassured by the face subconsciously, even as it made her shiver to think it, Ahsoka’s stomach growled again now that he was gone. Rex’s request rang in her ears. _I’m not eating for him_ , she told herself sternly, for it hadn’t been an order like Hondo’s, it had been one friend asking another. _I’m eating because I’m hungry._ _I’m eating for_ me.

 With that thought, she reached for the plate.

* * *

 

Rex headed for Anakin’s room as he finished locking Ahsoka’s. He exhaled, taking a moment to orient himself and carefully lock away the unease he felt seeing her look so broken.

 She still wasn’t on her feet yet and that she hadn’t run from him, even as she’d tried to scramble away, was telling of the fact her injuries were worse than he’d first imagined. If she still wasn’t able to walk tomorrow, he wasn’t sure he could keep that to himself. As it was, he was going to have to speak with Kix and Coric about treatments or some kind of alternative. The longer she took to heal, the harder it would be to hide the extent of her injuries.

 Didn’t Jedi have some kind of healing abilities? He seemed to recall Ahsoka telling him something about Commander Offee and healers. Whatever it was, it couldn’t help him at that moment, and Rex turned his attention to the task at hand.

 Stopping outside Anakin’s door, he knocked, waiting, and the door opened with a hiss.

 “Rex.”

 “General.”

 “Come in.”

 Rex stepped into the room and stopped. Like most of Skywalker’s spaces, this one was cluttered with electronics but, today, his droid was noticeably missing. Anakin, for his part, was in the middle of a morning kata. It gave Rex pause and acutely brought home the difference in Ahsoka since her return. Any day before her capture, he’d have seen them doing their katas together. “You asked to see me, sir?”

 “How’s Ahsoka, Rex?”

 “What did the Senator tell you, sir?”

 “Precious little.” Anakin frowned, coming out of his stance. “Padmé did mention it looked like she’d been mauled by a wild animal.”

 “That’s accurate, sir,” Rex could agree with that. There was no sense in hiding the things he didn’t need to. “The Commander’s refused to be treated in the medbay for her injuries.”

 “So I heard. Do you know why?”

 He did but Rex wasn’t about to enlighten Anakin. “I’m sorry sir, she insists that I be the one to treat her. She hasn’t said much.” Which was true. Most of what he’d gleaned for information had been gained from Kix and Coric. Ahsoka had yet to open up to him. “I was able to bring her some food this morning.”

 “Does she look any better?”

 “I haven’t had a chance to look at her injuries yet this morning, sir,” he was as frank as he could be. “I’m no medic, but I suspect she’ll be some time in healing all of the damage.”

“A wild animal, huh?”

 Rex nodded.

 “And she’s not said anything as to how she got her injuries?”

 “No, sir.” Part of Rex wondered if he should have been bothered by the fact he was speaking the truth and not telling the whole truth at the same time. “Nothing yet.”

 “And she still won’t see me?”

 “No, sir.”

 “Can you ask her why, Rex?”

 “She said she doesn’t want you to see her like that, sir. She doesn’t want _anyone_ to see her like that.”

 “Not even the medics.”

 Rex remained silent, knowing it wasn’t really a question and Anakin didn’t disappoint him. His commanding officer turned, slapping his hand flat against one of the walls. “She broke the medical droid and erased the readings.” Anakin’s expression was neutral and his voice was soft. “I’m worried about her, Rex.”

 “I’ll tell her, sir.”

 He exhaled. “Thanks Rex,” the hand on the wall slid down.

 “Sir?”

 “We’re alone Rex, you can call me Anakin.”

 “Anakin,” he tried again with a nod. “You’ve the skills, why haven’t you simply opened her door?”

 “I’m under orders to let her come to me.”

 “Orders?” Rex’s brow furrowed. The Council hadn’t likely been told yet, then who...?

 “The Senator,” Anakin clarified dryly. “She made it very clear and explicit that under no circumstances was I to approach Ahsoka until she was ready to see me.”

 Rex could just bet she had. The Senator had an unnaturally strong influence over his General and always had. If he wasn’t mistaken, Anakin was in love in the Senator, but as it didn’t generally affect the operation of their unit, he’d long since decided that it was no business of his. If it helped Ahsoka now, all the better. “I’ll advise her of that.”

 “Just let her know not to take too long, Rex. If she’s out of commission for more than a few days, I’ll be expected to submit a medical report for why she’s out of action.”

 “Understood, sir. Was there anything else?”

 “No, just keep me apprised of her progress. Dismissed.”

 Rex resisted the urge to salute, nodded crisply instead, and exited the room, silently wondering just how much longer he could keep the extent of Ahsoka’s injuries from her Master, especially if she took him into her confidence. Exhaling, he headed back to her room. He’d deal with that when it happened.

* * *

 

Examining Ahsoka wasn’t any easier the day after save for the fact that some of her wounds had already begun to heal. As Rex was touching up the bandages on one shoulder, Ahsoka stared straight ahead, her jaw clenched, her hands in tight fists, and he tried not to notice. It wasn’t easy. Everything about her posture screamed _fear_. While Rex knew she wasn’t afraid of _him_ exactly, he also knew that his presence was what was causing the reaction.

 How could he not when she flinched every time he moved too fast?

 The tense silence was almost hostile and finally, he broke the silence rather than let the resentment he could feel building, fester. “Are you still unwilling to take a turn in the bacta tank?”

 Ahsoka nodded, but didn’t say anything.

 Peeling back one of the piercing wounds on the back of her shoulder blade, Rex’s jaw tightened but he flexed it, making it crack, and forced himself to continue to speak. “Bacta patches aren’t enough to heal all of this, Ahsoka. If you don’t get into a tank eventually, they’ll leave behind scars.”

 “Scars.”

 Rex kept his gaze focused firmly on the puncture wounds, applying the disinfectant and wishing Kix hadn’t told him to avoid sealing the wounds for as long as possible. They looked painful, even to him, and he’d endured some interesting wounds. He didn’t reply, not certain what else he could say, and Ahsoka surprised him.

 “How would you know that they’ll leave scars, Rex? You’re not a medic.”

 He flinched, glad she couldn’t see his face, but answered as honestly as he could. “I’ve taken enough damage to know.” He didn’t want to lie to her, so he continued. “I also asked Kix for- hold still!”

 “You told Kix?!” she struggled, tearing free of his grasp with more strength than he believed her to have, and turned to face him as she jerked her top back into place. “How could you, Rex?!”

 “How could I not?” Facing her, he let her see a touch of his own desperate need to help her. “I’m not a medic, Ahsoka. I told you this is beyond my training and experience.”

 “But he’ll know-” She cut herself off, biting her lip and looking away and down, hunching forward as if to protect herself.

 “He already knows and not because I said anything.”

 “How could he possibly know if you didn’t tell him?” Her look was accusatory but fearful. “He wouldn’t Rex, that’s how!”

 “Kix was there, Ahsoka.” He didn’t break eye contact with her, his voice even and level and without inflection. “I asked him to treat you first.”

 “You _let_ him-”

 “No.”

 “But…” she looked lost for a moment, smaller as she seemed to shrink within herself in confusion. “You just said...”

 Rex exhaled softly. “You don’t remember.”

 “Remember what?”

 “You turned him down, Ahsoka.” As he said the words, Rex watched her carefully. “Kix never touched you. You didn’t want him to and he respected your wishes. I was going to insist he look you over but he _refused_ once he saw your reaction.”

 “Then why ask him now?”

 “I need his help.” He shook his head. “I can’t do this on my own, Ahsoka. I don’t have the knowledge you need to help you.”

 “I didn’t want… I don’t…”

 Rex reacted without thinking as she turned her face away in confusion and she cowered, flinching back as his hand reached for her. He slowly folded his fingers into a fist and let it drop to the bed between them. “You’ve trusted me to take care of you so far, Ahsoka. Don’t stop trusting me now.”

 Her words were a ragged whisper when she responded, giving him her back, her shoulders hunched forward protectively. “Go away, Rex.”

 “I’m not finished with your-”

 “Go _away_ ,” her voice was louder, desperate, and almost hysterical. _“Get out!”_

 Staring at her, Rex rose to his feet and collected his gauntlets. Tucking them into his belt, he watched as she shook, her legs drawn up to her front protectively, her arms wrapped tightly about herself again. Taking the time to reassemble the medkit, he didn’t leave it behind this time, knowing it needed to be resupplied.

 He stood by her bed, part of him confused, another part simply frustrated. She needed to snap out of this, to _talk_ to him and tell him what happened. Once she had, there was a chance they could deal with it as they always had and she’d go back to normal. A small chance maybe, because looking at her Rex had two very different images in his head.

 The smiling, cocky, adrenaline junky that was his best friend and the tiny broken creature he’d found on Hondo’s ship. Extremes of who Ahsoka was, which meant there had to be a happy medium somewhere between invincible warrior and broken girl. Rex just wasn’t sure how to reach it, or if it was even possible.

 “Kix saw you, Ahsoka,” he told her softly as he turned to go, “and all it’s done is make him want to help you.”

 Leaving her in the room, Rex strode over to the door and keyed in the code, glancing back to look at her tiny form in time to see it fall over on her side, her shoulders shaking. With a shake of his head, he exited the room and secured the door behind him.

 He needed to see Kix or Coric or maybe both, and come up with some way of helping put her back on her feet sooner rather than later. The empty medkit gave him the excuse he needed, not that he needed one as their commanding officer, and he headed for the medbay.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Resolute - Post Ahsoka’s Captivity Day Three_ **

 “We haven’t seen the Commander since she got back, are you sure she’s okay?” Jesse’s not-quite quiet question to Kix, drew Fives’ attention from several seats down the table in the mess hall.

 The medic’s soft voice didn’t carry to him, so Fives unabashedly slid over to sit next to Jesse and look at them both. “What’s this about Commander Tano?”

 “She’s resting after her ordeal, Fives.” The medic took another sip of his caf. “The paralytic agent in her system hasn’t broken down as quickly as we’d like, so she’s on bed rest until it’s gone.”

 “And when will that be?”

 Kix shrugged, not meeting Fives’ eyes and Fives got the distinct impression the medic wasn’t being entirely honest with them. “We don’t know. Torgruta physiology is different than a Clones’.”

 “Haven’t the Jedi got their own healers?” Jesse frowned. “Couldn’t one of them help?”

 “The Commander hasn’t requested it.”

 Pinning Kix with a look, Fives crossed his arms on the table. “Have you actually seen her, Kix?”

 “I’ve been correlating her blood work-”

 “That’s not what I asked.” Narrowing his eyes, Fives searched Kix’s face carefully. “You haven’t, have you?”

 Kix’s shoulders squared and he lifted his gaze to Fives’. “The Commander has asked I don’t discuss her situation, Fives. I have to respect that.”

 Fives ignored the indignation in Kix’s tone. “Has _anyone_ seen her except, Rex?”

 “The Captain doesn’t have time to nursemaid the Commander.”

 “He’s been to see her each morning this week, first thing,” Fives countered. He knew. He’d followed Rex from the medbay that first night and every morning thereafter. He’d been as worried about Ahsoka as the rest of the Company. More, probably. He’d known her a lot longer than the shinies. Not to mention he’d been in the room when Ahsoka had refused Kix’s help and scrambled away from Rex like he’d said or done something horrific. Even now, her comment about not letting _them_ touch her hadn’t been explained to his satisfaction and made no sense in his mind. “In fact, he’s with her right now. He brought her breakfast.”

 “Someone has to feed her.”

 “Agreed.” Fives wasn’t entirely sure what was his point, all he knew what that something was _wrong_ with this situation and no one was willing to tell him what. “But that’s not my point, Kix.”

 “What is your point, Fives?”

 “My _point_ ,” Fives tapped one finger down on the table top in emphasis, “is that Rex is the _only_ one that sees her.”

 “And you know this how, Fives?” The medic’s tone was mild and a touch reproachful. “You’re sitting here with us right now. For all you know Sergeant Coric or even the General could be with her right now.”

 They could, but Fives suspected they weren’t.

 “Any idea at all when she’ll be back on her feet, Kix?” Jesse cut in before Fives could contradict the medic and changing the line of the conversation. “Scuttlebutt says we’ll be dirtside in a few days for an assault. I know I’d feel better with her there beside the Captain watching our backs.”

 “When have you ever known the Commander or the Captain,” Fives shook his head, amused despite himself, “to lead from the back, Jess?”

 “You know what I mean.”

 “If the agent is out of her blood stream and she’s regained full motor control, maybe.” Kix shrugged. “I can’t promise anything, Jesse. This isn’t a situation we’ve run into before. Togrutan physiology is well mapped but its weaknesses are few. The pathogen had to be exceedingly strong to overcome it.”

 Jesse made a face. “Alright, fine. When you see her, tell her we’re all worried about her, would you?”

 “And me,” Fives chimed in, willing to give Kix the benefit of the doubt when he looked and sounded so worried. “Tell her I want a rematch for the last time she tossed me around the mat.”

 Kix’s face darkened, a troubled look entering his eyes as he winced. It was gone almost as quickly as it had appeared and Fives, for a moment, wondered if he’d imagined it. “Sure thing Fives.” Kix’s voice was soft, but less than enthusiastic. “When I see her next, I’ll let her know.” Kix drained his caf and pushed to his feet. “I’m due in the medbay for my shift in ten.”

 Without so much as a goodbye, Kix walked away.

 “Is it just me,” reflected Fives with a frown, “or is he more worried about the Commander than he’s saying?”

 “Kix is a good Medic, Fives,” Jesse countered, already having gone back to his meal. “Eat up, would you? We’re due at the range in ten ourselves.”

 Following Jesse’s advice, Fives dropped the subject and tucked into his meal but without the usual gusto. Ahsoka’s continued absence was making the men of the unit talk, more so than the conversation that he’d just been a part of, with speculation as to the reasons for her continued seclusion starting to run rampant. His own intuition was telling him something was seriously wrong and, if Fives had learned anything on the path to becoming an ARC trooper, it was to trust his intuition.

 Only this time he found himself hoping he was wrong.

* * *

“No.”

 “Ahsoka-”

 “No, Rex!” She used the wall for support as she wobbled towards the desk. “I can’t yet.”

 “You need to shower.”

 Shaking her head, Ahsoka focused on the chair before her and reached for it, barely making it before her legs began to shake and she had to sit. The piercing wounds at her hips and the slash marks across her thighs and buttocks, pulled and stung, making it difficult to walk, the burning between her thighs having faded to a manageable ache.

 The last two days had been hell.

 Rex pestered her, goading her into fighting back, forcing her to fight him when all she wanted to do was sit in the corner and be left alone. He was stubborn, obstinate, and his attitude had put her to tears more than once, but he hadn’t relented.

 No matter what she did or said, Rex always came back.

 He tended her wounds with patience and precision and, after the first time, he’d not discussed Kix or any other medic with her.

 It bothered her that Kix knew about her current condition, but the sometimes semi-logical part of her brain agreed with Rex’s decision. By going to the medic who’d initially seen her injuries, he could get some advice on the best methods of treatment. She didn’t like it, cringed at the thought of anyone but Rex knowing the extent of her injuries, but Rex swore to her that Kix had been the only other clone to see her. He’d made sure of it.

 The careening back and forth of her emotional and physical reactions to his presence was disorienting. She _wanted_ him around, and yearned to be alone and _safe_ from what his gender represented. She wanted him gone, and when he was, she was terrified of the silence and the vacant room. Terrified that the next time the door opened it would be Hondo, not Rex, ready to resume his special brand of indignity.

 Ahsoka could feel the Force around her, waiting for her to reach for it, but she couldn’t bring herself to. Not yet. As unsteady as she was - and a part of her knew it - she couldn’t take the risk.

 “Ahsoka.” Rex’s tone was sharp, drawing her back to the present. “You _need_ to shower.”

 “I can’t Rex, what if I...” she stopped, looking away, her voice trembling. “What if I fall and can’t get up.”

 “Then you’ll crawl out,” he told her bluntly. “Your injuries need to be cleaned.”

 “Then clean them like you have been.”

 “Cleaning _them_ isn’t the issue. Get in the shower.”

 “N-no.”

 Rex was silent behind her for a few moments and, despite the fact her denial had wavered, Ahsoka hoped he got the point. He came into her line of slight with a slow measured tread, his armor having a calming effect on her the way it always did, even as her heart leapt into her throat at his stern expression.

 To her surprise, he took a knee at the end of the desk, watching her, searching her expression for who knew what, and Ahsoka turned her face away, afraid of what he’d see. He continued to watch her for long moments, his intensity unnerving.

 “Why won’t you shower, Ahsoka?”

 “I-” her tongue tripped over itself as memories inundated her.

 Images clashed together, tangling in her memory. Being in the shower after the first time Hondo had assaulted her and blaming Rex for not having rescued her yet. Of hiding in the ‘fresher from Hondo and how he’d seemed to respect the fact she needed that little space to herself even if he’d never respected her person. The subsequent abuse had left her aching and raw, her only refuge the ‘fresher, the shower having been the only place in the whole room where she’d felt even temporarily _clean_.

 It made no sense why she wouldn’t want to shower… and perfect sense. If she went in there, if she went to shower, she was terrified that she’d come out only to find she’d been deluding herself into believing she’d been rescued. She was afraid that Rex would have disappeared and Hondo would be in his place, ready to continue his ‘breaking in’ of her.

 Shuddering, she wrapped her arms about her middle, suddenly cold, a knot forming in her belly and starting to grow.

 “Ahsoka?”

 “I can’t.” she shook her head, the ache in her middle threatening to burst out of her stomach as her heart began to hammer too fast. “I can’t, Rex. _I can’t_!”

 “Ahsoka, look at me.”

 She lifted her head at his gentle insistence, his face blurred in her vision.

 “I’m right here. I won’t go anywhere.” He looked so serious, even though the sheen of her tears, so _earnest_ , “Talk to me, Ahsoka,” he insisted softly. “I’m here to listen.”

  _Here to listen._

 His words echoed in her head. Rex was there. He was there to listen. A tear slipped down her cheek unnoticed. There was no pressure in his statement, simply a plea. His gaze was direct, heartfelt, and held a silent plea for comprehension. He _wanted_ to know and not just because he was curious, but because he wanted to help. 

It was there in his expression even now. A voice inside her whispered all of the things he’d done for her, starting from her rescue, and a part of her wondered if he didn’t deserve to hear it. He’d _seen_ what had happened, had been the one to pull Atai away from her. He’d been the one to _rescue_ her from that hell and, even now, it was as if he still wanted to save her.

 “I…” she swallowed hard, her voice coming out hoarsely as she gripped herself tightly, looking down again. “I’m afraid, Rex.” He waited, silently, without prompting, for her to go on. His gaze remained on her, she could feel it even though she couldn’t meet it. “I’m afraid that… if I go in there, when I come out… I… that you…” She gasped, feeling the knot in her middle tighten unbearably, as if it was going to take all of her internal organs and knot them together. “I’m afraid that this will be a dream.”

 “The shower represents something to you.”

 It wasn’t a question, but she answered it anyway, the word torn from her on a ragged sob. “Safety.” Her gaze lifted to his face, but she could no longer see him through the sheen of her tears. “It was safety, Rex. The one place _he_ wouldn’t come after me. It meant I could be… that I wasn’t… I could be _clean_.” She tried to breathe to loosen the knot within her, the weight that seemed to be consuming her. “A part of me believed that because I always thought of you, you were protecting me. But you didn’t, Rex.” She sobbed. “You didn’t! You weren’t there and he… he made me…” 

“Ahsoka-”

 “No.” She pushed to her feet, her wounds protesting at the violent movement, her hands thrown out in front of herself to fend him off. “No! You didn’t save me Rex. You didn’t come when I needed you most. You didn’t stop him!”

 He didn’t move, except to rise to his feet, his form an indistinct mess of sharp corners and soft shadows.

 Ahsoka barely noticed as she backed away, unconsciously heading - on legs that threatened to give out at any moment - to the one place that had seemed _safe_ on the ship. Unerringly, her legs moved her in the direction that Rex had been trying to get her to go, except she wasn’t doing it to get clean or shower, she was doing it to escape.

 Her voice rose. “They took away the Force from me, Rex. They _stole_ it and they had no right. No right! He made me face him without it and I couldn’t stop him.” Her hands gripped the edge of the door frame suddenly, clinging as she struggled to maintain her feet. “I tried, Rex. I tried to get away. I tried…” the strength seemed to leave her as she suddenly sagged against the wall.

 Strong hands cradled her, easing her to the ground, before hesitating. Ahsoka had no fight left in her at that moment. She folded forward, her head coming to rest against Rex’s armored shoulder, her hands shifting to grip his forearms and then his biceps, creeping over the plastoid until she was practically clinging to the seams at his neck. Her eyes closed as her body shook with sobs.

 “I couldn’t stop him,” the words were torn raggedly from her throat. “I begged, Rex. I _begged_ him to stop and he didn’t care. He _didn’t care_! He just did whatever he wanted, when he wanted, and he _didn’t care_!”

 Rex’s arms came around her as she clung to him unconsciously, her nails digging into the fabric and skin under the shell, but he didn’t pull back.

* * *

Seeing her like this was killing him.

 Rex carefully pulled her towards him, reassured when his actions only resulted in her sharp talons digging further into his skin and he felt it give, warmth trickling from several cuts as he ignored them. This wasn’t about him and he’d had far worse. Ahsoka needed him and he hadn’t a clue how to be what she needed.

 At a loss, Rex said the first thing he could think of. “I’m sorry.” She tensed in his grasp and the words slipped out again. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, Ahsoka. I’m sorry this happened to you. Tell me how I can help you. How can I…” he stopped, unable to continue on with the question. There was nothing he could do to make it up to her. _Nothing_. Even with his limited understanding of what she’d been through, of what she’d lost, he knew that fact without a doubt.

 She didn’t seem to respond to his apology so he tried again, bending his head to hers and brushing his lips against the arc of one montral. “It wasn’t your fault, kid.” His throat felt scratchy as it closed on the words and he cleared it, his next words coming out far more gruffly and heartfelt than intended. “I’m glad you’re safe now, Ahsoka.”

 “Safe.”

 “With me. I won’t let anyone else hurt you.”

 She jerked back violently and Rex had no choice but to let her go, the memory of her struggles when he hadn’t heavy in the back of her mind. Visibly trembling, her gaze was accusatory. “It’s too late, Rex. I can’t… you weren’t…”

 “No. I wasn’t,” he wanted to reach for her and instead placed his hand flat on the floor. “I wasn’t there for you when you needed me most.” 

“Why, Rex?” Her accusatory gaze cut him to the quick. “Why weren’t you there?” 

He had no answer for her. Nothing he knew that could ease the pain of what she was going through and no answer would be the _right_ one. All he had was the truth. “It was a Jedi mission. You didn’t need me, Ahsoka.” 

“But I did. I _did_!” She practically spat the words. “And you weren’t there! You weren’t-” 

 “No, I wasn’t.” Somehow keeping his anger in check, Rex spoke evenly, careful not to let it show. “I wasn’t there when you needed me, Ahsoka, because I didn’t _know_ you needed me. By the time I knew, you had already been missing for several days. I came for you as soon as I knew you needed me and I wasn’t there to save you in time.” His hand clenched on the ground, itching to reach for her again. “I’m here now. I couldn’t help you then, but I can now. I _want_ to help you.” His voice dropped to a near whisper. “Tell me how.”

 She had no answer for him. To Rex’s eyes she looked… stunned by the offer. As Ahsoka stared at him, Rex looked right back at her. He meant every word.

 “Tell me how I can help you, Ahsoka, and I’ll do it.”

 Watching her in silence for several minutes, Rex was starting to wonder if she’d taken him seriously or simply ignored him, when she finally spoke. Her words were…small. Like her.

 “I don’t know.”

 Several of the words in the basic language that Rex had learned to despise. He ignored his distaste for them within the context of the situation and waited. If he spoke now, he wasn’t sure if she’d respond again. Holding his peace, he maintained eye contact with her. Several moments passed before she spoke again.

 “Rex?”

 It was just his name, but it held a wealth of uncertainty. He cocked his head to show he was listening but didn’t say anything. Neither did she and, this time, Rex broke his silence when she seemed to deflate with it. Picking a neutral subject, he carefully modulated his voice.

 “Use the shower, Ahsoka.”

 “No.”

 “I’ll be right here when you get out.” She looked torn on the idea and Rex pushed to his feet, offering her his hand, giving her the option of refusing or accepting. “If you want me to be.”

 She swallowed hard, looking from his hand to his face and back. “Promise?”

 “I give you my word.”

 There was a moment of tense slice between them and then, to his relief, her fingers slid hesitantly into his before she took his hand. Helping her to her feet, he followed her directions, assisting her with getting ready for her shower and only leaving when she was finally ready to step in. Leaving the room, Rex closed the door behind him and exhaled on a long breath.

 He’d wait for her as promised, leaving him little to do except touch base with Coric and Kix and reassign his command roles once again.

 Checking his comlink, Rex frowned, finding a message waiting for it. With Ahsoka occupied, he wasted no time in listening to it, his frown deepening with every word.

 A mission.

 Anakin wanted to use Torrent Company on a mission with Ahsoka. The brief details were of landing in a staging area, collecting what supplies they needed and regrouping before being airlifted to the zone. Following the bare bones plan of Seppie obliteration, was Anakin’s request, which was in fact a thinly veiled order, that he and Ahsoka present themselves to a mission briefing in the morning.

 Which meant _this_ morning.

 Right now in fact, based on the message’s contents. Rex looked towards the ‘fresher and, if he entertained the idea of going for even a heartbeat, it was quickly dispelled with the knowledge that Ahsoka would likely lose all faith in him if he left now. No. He’d send Coric and get debriefed later. For now, Ahsoka needed his help and Rex intended to see that she got it. 

* * *

 “I’m sorry sir, but I don’t believe Commander Tano is mission ready,” Rex told Anakin as his General paced back and forth in front of him. Ahsoka had kicked him out so she could change and Rex was taking advantage of it. “Assigning her to this mission would be imprudent.”

 “Assigning her to this mission is my way of ensuring she gets out of her quarters, Rex. It’s been four days since you pulled her off Hondo’s ship. She’s still not spoken with you or anyone and the only person I can see as being permitted in her company is _you_.”

 “Her captivity was difficult sir, she still needs time to recover.”

 “Difficult _how_ , Rex?” 

Rex straightened and snapped his lips shut. Anakin had tried several times to get the information out of him, the attempts becoming less and less subtle daily as Anakin’s frustrations grew. 

“Don’t answer that,” Anakin told him caustically. “I can see it on your face you’re not going to tell me anything more than what you already have.” 

“I can’t tell you what I don’t know, sir.” 

Which was the technical truth. Ahsoka still hadn’t opened up to him in any detail. Rex suspected Anakin of using Force tricks to try and glean his truthfulness and it was both frustrating and darkly amusing. Ahsoka herself hadn’t told him anything of consequence about her captivity, thus, he could honestly tell his General that he didn’t know. Until she told him what exactly had happened, if she ever did, all he had was speculation and what Kix and Coric had told him. 

“Why _you_ , Rex?” Anakin stopped and pinned him with a look. “Why not a medic or Padmé or even me? Why _you_?” 

“Hazarding a guess, sir, I’d say it’s because I’m the one who found her.” What he didn’t add was the fact that he wasn’t, and couldn’t, try to read her mind. Not that he understood how Jedi mind tricks worked from the _giving_ end. Still, why she’d turned on the Senator, and not him, after he’d heard from Kix and Coric as to what he’d witnessed was a mystery. As much as he’d reflected on the issue, all Rex knew for certain was that she instinctively trusted him when her conscious mind trusted no other man - a humbling and weighty revelation.

 The _look_ on Anakin’s face was frustrated. “I should have been the one to find her, Rex. It should have been _me_.” 

Privately, Rex didn’t agree. If Anakin had been the one to find her, knowing his General’s disposition and less than stellar rage management skills, Rex wasn’t certain of what would have happened. True, Anakin had been better since becoming Ahsoka’s Master - she appeared to have tempered him somewhat - but the sequence that Rex had witnessed would have been too much for anyone. If Ahsoka’s reaction to being _in_ the situation was any indicator, simply _seeing_ it would have been too much for even a Jedi. Especially a Jedi of Anakin’s history.

 Exhaling, Anakin resumed pacing and turned the discussion back to where it belonged. “The operation is a minor one. A removal of some droid bases and factories on a small moon in the Anoat system that is practically uninhabited. It’s an operation I should probably leave to some other Jedi, but it’s a good one to get her back into the normal swing of things.”

 “Sir?”

 “I’m hoping throwing her into the battle with her lightsabers will help, Rex.”

 “Considering she no longer has her lightsabers, General, that might be a little difficult.”

 “She didn’t ask you to get them or did you chose to leave them behind?”

 “I didn’t think to look for them,” Rex admitted. He’d been so preoccupied with Ahsoka’s physical and mental condition, he’d forgotten one of his own beloved blasters and hadn’t given a single _thought_ to her weapons. There had been more pressing matters at hand - like getting her _out_ of there. “And the Commander was practically catatonic when we found her. She didn’t mention them.”

 “That doesn’t sound like Ahsoka.”

 Privately, Rex agreed. “Possibly an indicator of what she endured, sir. She’s _not_ mission ready yet.”

 “All the more reason to get her out there sooner rather than later, Rex.” Anakin stopped again, this time leaning against his desk and crossing his arms over his chest. “At least, that’s what Obi-Wan says.”

 “General Kenobi, sir?”

 “He’s of the opinion that getting her back into her regular routine as soon as possible will be key in her resuming her duties as my Padawan.” There was a moment of silence before Anakin spoke again and it wasn’t a question. “You don’t agree.”

 “No sir, I don’t.”

 “Give me a reason then, Rex. I know you taught her to fire a blaster, so it’s not like she’d be going in without some kind of weapon she can use. Give me one good reason why this isn’t a good idea.”

 Knowing Kix’s story to the men about the paralytic agent still being in her system wouldn’t work with Anakin, Rex wasn’t about to try it and have it result in _more_ issues for Ahsoka. Like having the Jedi healers insist on looking at her before she was ready. Without breaking her trust, Rex had nothing he could say. He tried anyway. “Sir-”

 “Drop the sir, already, would you?”

 Rex stated again. “We don’t know what she endured on that ship, General.” He didn’t feel comfortable calling Anakin by his given name considering the topic. “Until she tells someone what happened, we can’t know how to treat this.”

 “We know how to treat it, Rex.” Stretching his arms out behind him on the desk, Anakin reached for something in one of the drawers. Rex’s hand shot out on pure reflex as an oblong object came flipping his way. “Ahsoka has been through all sorts of trials. She’s survived at the hands of the Trandoshans, the Son’s control, Cad Bane and who knows what else. Whatever this is, whatever happened to her, all of those incidents have taught me that she responds best to action.”

 “General-”

 “No, Rex.” Anakin held up one hand, stopping him. “I appreciate your concern for her, but Ahsoka needs to snap out of this sooner rather than later. I agree with Obi-Wan. Putting her back onto the battlefield has helped in the past, so it should help now. Tell her I expect her at the briefing tomorrow. Oh nine hundred.”

 Clicking his heels together, Rex nodded reluctantly. His General’s mind was made up and nothing he would say would change it. “I’ll tell her, sir.”

 “Dismissed.”

 His hand clenching around the lightsaber in his hand, Rex exited the room. As the door closed behind him he examined the cylinder. _This is a bad idea_. Giving Ahsoka a weapon might make her feel more in control, and Rex grudgingly agreed with that fact, but Kix and Coric were of the opinion a weapon was the last thing she needed. He wasn’t about to contradict the medics.

 Hooking the lightsaber under his kama, Rex turned and headed back towards Ahsoka’s room. He had a message he didn’t want to relay but needed to and Ahsoka, he suspected, was going to like hearing it even less than he had.

* * *

The sight that greeted Rex in Ahsoka’s quarters wasn’t what he was expecting.

 Opening the door, he stepped inside and paused, surprised. The door to the ‘fresher was open, the lights were on and Ahsoka was curled up on her side, wrapped in a short towel, in front of the door.

 Lengths of sienna colored skin, freshly healing and gleaming with cleanliness, were laid bare before him. Her legs were slightly angled from her body, as if she’d fallen or dropped to the floor. The injuries he’d been tending having sealed, visible under their clear bacta patches and healing nicely. The shapely curves of her legs sported fading bruises around her ankles and calves, the impression of a chain or rope used to hold her still visible around one knee.

 The backs of her knees had escaped the abuse which had been heaped upon her person, but they were just inches from her clawed thighs.

 Rex’s jaw tightened, his fists clenching, as they always did upon seeing the damage. The rounded edge of her buttocks was visible just below the raised end of the towel, a raw, but slowly healing, cut along the curve.

 The towel covered her body, leaving her back and the damage mending there, obscured to him, but Rex didn’t need to see it to know. He’d doctored every one of those slashes with his own two hands, wanting to kill the scum who’d caused them over and over again, only the knowledge that he’d already killed the Zygerrian giving him any kind of comfort.

 Covered around her back at her shoulder line, the towel left her shoulders exposed, her _lek_ drooping down towards the floor and exposing her neck. Even there, Rex could see the shine of a freshly applied bacta patch. Over, he knew, the teeth marks the beast had left on her.

 Protectiveness swelled within him, his mind already cursing the piece of _osik_ who’d dared to touch her, to abuse her, in such a fashion. Despair welled within him. Ahsoka had been _his_ to protect and he’d failed her. Not knowing, as she’d told him, wasn’t an excuse for her. Somehow she believed that he _should_ have known she needed him and come to her.

 Crazy thing was, the more he thought about it, the more Rex agreed with her. Every other instance where she’d needed him, he’d been there. He couldn’t understand it, couldn’t explain it. It bothered him that, when she’d needed him most, his intuition had failed him.

 Shaking himself free of the daze that seemed to have gripped him, Rex silently admonished himself. If Ahsoka caught him looking at her like he was, there was a good chance she’d never let him back in her room. He averted his gaze, turning to lock the door behind him before he took a deep breath. Turning back around, he approached her cautiously. Her back rose and fell in even, deep motions, consistent with someone sleeping.

 Why would she be sleeping on the floor? Drawing near, Rex knelt just beyond where her arm would swing if she suddenly turned and tried to hit him. “Ahsoka?”

 She didn’t respond, her breathing continuing uninterrupted, the towel rising and falling with each deep and even breath. Rex shifted so he could see her face, hesitating when he caught sight of her lekku shielding it. Knowing it was a bad idea, but doing it anyway, he reached out and gently lifted it.

 She stirred but didn’t wake at the soft touch, her face turning, her body curling into an almost fetal position with a whimper.

  _I’m sorry._  “Ahsoka?” Not getting a response, her breathing having returned to a normal resting rhythm, Rex examined her face and was alarmed with what he saw. Ahsoka looked like hell.

 Which was saying a lot considering how he’d found her on Hondo’s ship.

 She had dark bruises under her eyes, not unlike humans got, from lack of sleep and Rex realized that he didn’t _know_ the last time she’d slept. She’d been awake every time he’s returned to her room, often in the same position where he’d left her when leaving. _Ahsoka..._ he shook his head, glancing at the bed and knew in that moment he couldn’t leave her where she was.

 Glancing back at her, Rex rose to his feet. He was tempted to try and lift her as she was, but if she woke and something happened to that towel when she fought him, it would undo all of the good - if any - getting her clean had done. Careful to walk softly, Rex collected the top sheet from her bed, noting as he pulled it off that it looked as if it had been lain _on_ but not in.

  _Kriffing hell!_ No wonder she was practically incoherent. If she hadn’t slept since her return, that was three days at least. The wild card was how many days she hadn’t slept before that. Regardless, be it three or six, she _needed_ this and for her to be comfortable, Rex knew she’d need to be in her bed.

 Heading back to her with the sheet, Rex carefully draped it around her form. She seemed to relax fractionally as she was covered, her posture easing and one hand crept up and over, gripping the fabric.

 There was no help for what he was going to need to do next. Kneeling closer so he could collect her, Rex tried one more time. “Ahsoka. Ahsoka, wake up.” She stirred this time. Because of his proximity or his voice, he didn’t know. “Ahsoka.”

 “Two more minutes, Rex,” her words were sluggish and distorted. She was slurring her letters together and it came out as “Too mire mullets.” It took him a moment to understand.

 “You can’t sleep here, Ahsoka.” He reached out and tentatively touched his fingertips to her shoulder.

 “Ish fine.”

 He smiled faintly despite the situation. She almost sounded like her old self. “If you can’t make your bunk, I’ll carry you.”

 “S’okay, Rex.”

 One hand came out in obvious invitation and Rex wasted no time in collecting her. As his arms slid around her, he was careful to wrap her within the sheet, reassured when she tensed but didn’t struggle. Swiftly getting to his feet, Rex headed for her bunk.

 He paused at the side of it, looking down at her peacefully sleeping face. Her brow was drawn together, as if she wasn’t fully at peace, but the fact she was quiet and complacent in his arms was enough. The weight of her was almost cathartic, the unconscious trust she was placing in him nearly overwhelming after all he’d seen the last few days.

 She shifted in his grasp, whimpering, and Rex came back to himself with a start. Crouching, he placed her gently on her bunk, careful to keep her fully covered but not restrained. Mindful of what Kix had warned him about while on the pirate’s ship, Rex freed Ahsoka’s arms from the blanket with carefully calculated movements.

 Despite the shift, she still didn’t stir and he exhaled a relieved breath as he pulled a second sheet over her, draping it loosely about her body. He caught himself as the urge to touch her head hit him, clenching his fist and leaving it determinedly at his side. Despite her approval, he knew he was walking a fine line. The _wrong_ touch might draw her out of the sleep she needed to heal and recover. It wasn’t a chance he was willing to take.

 Instead, he collected her desk chair, drawing it over to her bedside, and planted himself within it. He’d watch over her for a few hours, just to make sure she slept. If she happened to wake and need him, then at least he was there.

 Several hours passed with no sign of Ahsoka waking, and Rex, finally, conceded defeat.

 She would likely sleep herself out and he had duties that couldn’t be delegated to Coric any longer. Reluctantly rising to his feet, he left the chair where it was before heading for the door. A quickly glance back to ensure she was sleeping peacefully, and Rex exited the room.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**_Resolute - Post Ahsoka’s Captivity Day Four_ **

_Bang!_

_Bang!_

Rex woke to the sound of someone hammering on his door, his hand on his DC17 and pointing at the closed portal before he’d consciously registered the move. A quick glance at the chrono showed it was just after two in the morning and the light on his comlink wasn’t blinking. Who could possibly be at his door at this hour?

Throwing back his cover, he padded on bare feet to the door, blaster still in hand, and slapped the controls. “This had better-” the sight that greeted him wasn’t one he was expecting. “Ahsoka.”

She was cowering in the hallway outside his door, tears shining in her eyes, her whole body trembling as if she were freezing. And she was the _last_ person he’d expected to see at his door. Not having left her room in days, he hadn’t expected her to seek him out here.

A quick glance around and Rex ushered her in. She didn’t have to be told twice and, before he could blink, she’d crawled onto his bed, sliding beneath the covers, sinking into the warm spot he'd created and left behind. Her trembling was enough that the whole of the blanket seemed to shake.

The bolts in the feet were probably the only reason the bed didn’t follow suit. 

Closing the door and flipping on the light, Rex turned to look at her, his blaster limp in his hand, looking at her with concern. When he’d left her earlier, she’d been fast asleep. A relatively peaceful sleep which _should_ have lasted until morning. “Ahsoka?”

Her head came up, turning towards his voice as if she was blind, seeming to seek the tones and syllables as she stopped, and tilted her head. Stepping to the table and only chair in the room, he placed his blaster on the scarred tabletop, never taking his eyes off her.

“Ahsoka.”

She shuddered as he said her name a third time, blinking, and this time seemed to focus on him. “Rex.”

Something was seriously wrong. 

Taking a seat on the chair, he leaned his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together to stop from reaching for her. His gaze never left her face as he drew closer. The fear in her posture was unmistakable, her vulnerability so achingly beautiful in that moment his throat closed. Clearing it, he forced himself to speak. “I’m here.”

“You were gone.”

“Gone?” He hadn’t expected her hurt accusation.

“You didn’t come back like you said you would.”

He frowned, trying to follow her line of thinking, and realized that, to her way of thinking, he hadn’t. He’d checked in on her twice and found her still out cold. A very brief question to Kix had reassured him that she wasn’t in any danger and the medic had advised she be left to sleep herself out. 

“When?”

“After my shower.” Her voice was small. “You promised to come back and you didn’t.”

“I did.”

She didn’t look like she believed him.

“What’s the last thing you remember after your shower?”

“Going to get dressed.”

“And the next thing you remember?”

Her brow furrowed and then she seemed to fold in on herself further, an edge of fear in her voice. “Waking up.”

“When you got out of your shower, it was ten hundred hours yesterday, Ahsoka; you asked me to step out so you could change.” He motioned to the chrono and her eyes followed his hand, settling on the glowing surface. “It’s now just past oh two hundred.”

“But…” she bit her lip. “You were _gone_.”

“Even I have to abide by lights out regs. I left your dinner on your side table. You didn’t see it?”

Ahsoka shook her head. “I didn’t look. I…” she dropped her gaze, her fingers curling and uncurling visibly against his blanket.

Searching her expression, Rex voiced the question he knew he probably shouldn’t. “What happened?” As expected, her head snapped to his, her eyes wide and fearful as she shrank back against the wall. Rex couldn’t let that deter him and he pushed on. “What made you come here, Ahsoka?” He waved one hand at the room.

She seemed to deflate and for a moment appeared as if she wouldn’t answer him. Silence stretched but Rex was resolved to be patient. What he got was _not_ what he expected.

“I had a nightmare.” Her words were nearly a whisper and he leaned in to catch them as she began to speak haltingly. “You were there when I woke from the last one, I just… I needed… I couldn’t…”

Frowning, he sought clarification as she stumbled to a halt. “I’ve never woken you from a nightmare.”

“Not a dream nightmare, maybe, but a _real_ , waking nightmare, Rex.” Her glistening eyes lifted to his. “You got me out of there.”

That made more sense. Still, it seemed like she had more to say and his voice was gruff as he spoke. “I’m here to listen if you need to talk.”

The shake of her head was expected and Rex considered her for a moment before coming to a decision. “Lie down, Ahsoka.”

“What?”

“Go to sleep. I’ll be right here until oh five hundred, alright?”

“What about you?”

“Sleep.” As he spoke he stood, reaching down to pull a second blanket from the foot of his bunk. Urging her down without touching her, he marveled at how small she looked in his standard issue single bunk. Curled on her side, her eyes on him the whole time, Rex carefully covered her. He was deliberate in his movements, letting her prepared for his touch as he pulled it up to her shoulders. He lifted his hands away, visually checked that she was covered from neck to toe and then addressed her again. “Warm enough?”

She nodded.

Stepping away, Rex moved towards the end of the bunk and Ahsoka suddenly shot up. “Don’t go!”

He glanced at her as he stopped at his footlocker and opened the top. “I’m not leaving,” he told her firmly. “I just thought you would be more comfortable if I wasn’t in my sleep shorts.”

Ahsoka blinked, color darkening her skin and the chevrons of her montrals and lekku. “Oh.”

“Lie down, Ahsoka,” he told her, reaching down for a body glove. He hesitated and instead pulled out his pair of exam fatigues. They’d be looser and he could change once she returned to her room. Armor wasn’t comfortable for what he had in mind.

Ahsoka’s gaze was fully on him as he straightened. Aware of it, and feeling a little self-conscious, Rex stepped into the drawstring pants. There was no shirt to go with the pants but Ahsoka didn’t seem bothered by it for all she was watching him with sniper-like intensity. Reaching back into his locker, Rex pulled the standard issue DC17 hand blaster he’d requisitioned the morning he’d realized he’d left one of his on the pirate’s ship. With it came a neatly wrapped fabric bundle he hadn’t used much since the last upgrade had practically perfected his blasters.

Closing the locker, he carried the blaster and the kit to the table. His helmet came next as he positioned it to use the lights to illuminate his workspace. Ahsoka’s eyes continued to follow him with her gaze as he moved back to the door and hit the lights, casting the room back into darkness and leaving just the table illuminated, the lights facing considerately away from the bunk. Moving back to the table, Rex sat himself down and unwrapped the bundle.

“What are you doing?”

A glance at Ahsoka showed him little. He could imagine her as she’d been while he was turning off the lights though. She’d eased back to the bed, the blankets once again cover her almost to her neck, her fingers curled around the edge as she’d watched him with a near unreadable expression. Only the soft glow of her eyes was visible in the darkness, luminescent and indicative of her superior night vision.

“Modifications,” his fingertips touched the hyrospanner and microplasma cutters one after another, old friends that were worn and used, but responded as needed. Leaving them in their place within the kit, Rex turned his attention to disassembling the blaster and focused on that. “Go to sleep, Ahsoka. I will be here when you wake up.”

The only sound in the room was the soft scape of metal on metal as Rex disassembled the parts. Several minutes later, as he was removing the last of the internal welds with his plasma torch, she spoke in a near whisper.

“Promise?”

He turned to look at her, lifting the plasma torch free of the job, and focused on the luminescent aura of her eyes. “I promise.”

“Okay.” She sighed softly, and the aura disappeared.

The rustling of the bed covers reaching him as she shifted, and Rex turned back to the blaster, able to picture her as she turned, eyes closed, this way and that, trying to get comfortable. His rack wasn’t exactly built for someone her size or station. Pushing that thought away - they'd slept in worse places in the field - he refocused on his task at hand.

The stock was apart and the outer covering on the blaster already set aside with the power pack. Carefully, his hand reaching into the toolkit with familiar and confident gestures, he plucked the tools he would need with expert precision. The tibanna gas canister was set aside on a special part of the kit to avoid having it unintentionally discharge. The collimating components came next and then the discharge chamber. The barrel was then opened, carefully, so he could restructure the main firing line for better precision.

He’d start there. Picking up the plasma torch and setting a magnifier in place, Rex began to carefully work on the main barrel of the blaster pistol, already thinking ahead. Accuracy first, then fire power. The modification for distance-

“Have you ever been drugged, Rex?”

 

Only his training kept him from flinching and destroying the blaster barrel as Ahsoka’s soft question reached him. He lifted the torch a fraction, keeping his gaze on the work. A quick shift to glance at her showed that the auras of her eyes hadn’t appeared, meaning she was speaking to him with her eyes still closed. Turning his attention back to the modification, he answered her. “Drug resistance training was a part of my conditioning.”

“Oh.”

There was silence again for several minutes as Rex focused. He prepared himself mentally for interruptions though, just in case she spoke again. He wasn’t disappointed.

“They drugged me,” the rustle of the blankets overcame the soft _swoosh_ sound of the plasma torch smoothing out the barrel of the blaster but Rex didn’t take his eyes off it. He wouldn’t have seen anything anyway and, to his relief, Ahsoka continued speaking. “That’s what I was dreaming about.”

“I see.”

“You don’t sound surprised.”

“Kix said he found traces of a pathogen he didn’t recognize in your blood stream.” This time he did glance up at her, long enough to look at the glowing pinpoints of her eyes for several seconds. “He cleaned my kit after we brought you back. I didn’t give him a blood sample.”

Her eyes closed again and Rex turned back to his task. The quiet resumed for several seconds, which turned into minutes. As he worked, the minutes turned into ten, and then twenty until almost a half hour passed before Ahsoka spoke once more. This time, she seemed to be speaking to herself and Rex simply listened.

“I saw it on Zygerria. I thought I knew what to expect when they told me they were going to sell me. I never thought…” The tears in her voice were unmistakable. “When Anakin had me playing a slave, I knew it was dangerous, but I didn’t know how easy I had it. I wasn’t put on display or bid on. I wasn’t sold or bartered for. I didn’t have to listen to what they thought I was worth.”

Rex well remembered of what she’d spoken. He and the General had been against Ahsoka being used as the slave. The Council, and more importantly, General Kenobi who’d been in charge of the operation, had overruled them, leaving the mission in Anakin’s hands to execute. Like most of Skywalker’s missions, it had gone sideways, but none of them had been hurt.

“This was nothing like that. _Nothing!_ ” she choked, sobbing softly.

Rex’s hand clenched around the welder. He was forced to lift it lest his tension translate into the instrument and damage the component.

“I was chained in the room when they, when _he_ , sold me.”

Her words painted an ugly picture that Rex knew only got worse, but he didn’t interrupt. She was opening up to him and, as hard as it was to hear, he knew it had to be a million times worse for her to say it. But, Kix had cautioned him, she would need this. For all it hurt now, it would be better for her later.

“They _bartered_ for me, like some kind of pet or creature, over drinks. Like selling a living, breathing sentient being into slavery was nothing more than a social call.” The sound of her tear choked voice stopped for a moment as she audibly struggled. “Rex?”

“I’m listening.”

“Do you know what I was worth?”

He wanted to tell her she was priceless but knew it wouldn’t have helped. Rex knew he wasn’t technically supposed to answer anyway. Her question was more of a statement and she’d tell him at her own pace. Which turned out to be immediately and, as she told him, a burning sensation settled low in his gut. 

“Five hundred tons of unrefined spice.” Her words held an edge that Rex couldn’t understand. “Five hundred _tons_ , Rex. That’s what _he_ wanted. What he got... I was worth four. Four hundred tons so Atai could… so he…” her breathing was ragged as she gulped air. In his mind’s eye he saw her curling into the corner of the bunk, her arms wrapped around her knees. “Four hundred tons of unrefined spice because I refused to submit to him when we were on Zygerria. All just so he could own me. R-rape me.”

Rex closed his eyes as the words, the metal of the tools in hand digging into his flesh. Hearing it from Kix and Coric was one thing, making it nothing but speculation despite the overwhelming evidence. Having Ahsoka say it... that made it real. There was no more doubting what he’d seen and stopped. No more what ifs or maybes.

Ahsoka’s words were choked as she continued, almost in a trance-like monotone, going on to describe how Atai had tried to touch her during the bargaining phase of the negotiation between himself and the Pirate and how he’d been told no but had instead made a show to ensuring she knew what awaited her by fondling himself.

She described being drugged, of having to inhale the gas that had paralyzed her, knowing what it was doing but helpless to resist. She spoke of continually trying to reach the Force and finding it beyond her grasp. There was no mistaking the despair being without the mystical ally had caused her.

The description of her waking to find herself in the Zygerrian’s room, paralyzed and helpless, was enough to force him to put down his tools down before he broke one. Flipping off the light on his helmet, he left them in darkness. Hands clenched, he folded them together on the desktop and gripped himself, his knuckles quickly turning bloodless and numb from the pressure.

Bile burned in the back of his throat and he swallowed hard to clear the sensation of needing to be sick as she described the rape itself. 

If Atai hadn’t already been dead, Rex would have gladly gone back and shredded him slowly, with a dull blade, and let infection set in before doing it again and again and again. He knew no word to describe just how low the Zygerrian was in his opinion, or just how badly he yearned to make him _pay_ for what he’d done to Ahsoka.

Her description was visceral and detailed despite the fact she showed next to no emotion beyond the choked underlying base of her words. She spoke as if watching a holovid, he realized - and not a very interesting one at that. Kix had said something about victims distancing themselves from the situation, doing something in their minds to remove themselves from it. Was it possible Ahsoka had somehow done the same to shield herself?

Her words continued to flow, around and around, repeating certain facts as if she was trying to purge them from her mind and glossing over others. The hour passed, creeping into two and then nearing three. She made mention of a detail that stuck with Rex - about how it had hurt more than other times when _he_  had raped her. Her halting descriptions finally faltered, ending with him and his brothers arriving to save her.

“I thought you were a dream, Rex,” emotion suddenly slipped back into her voice. “I thought I was dreaming. I’d wished for you to come and save me so often that I didn’t think...” Her words choked off. “I’d started to think-”

“-that we weren’t coming.” He finished her sentence quietly, feeling the words like blow below the belt.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Rex. I should have known you were coming for me, I just…”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Ahsoka.” Rex turned to face her in the darkness, keeping his hands folded and leaning his elbows on his knees, his head hanging with the weight of her story and the burden of guilt it left behind. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I lost faith in you, Rex.” She sounded so distressed about it, more than she had about the Zygerrian’s assault, it was like another knife to the gut.

“I might have lost faith in me too.”

“Rex…”

“Thank you for telling me. Thank you for having faith in me now.” He knew it wasn’t much, but he had all he could think of. Part of him was numb. “I’m sorry this happened to you, Ahsoka.”

There was a moment between them, in the darkness and silence, where he could hear her faintly ragged breathing at counterpoint to his own. He squeezed his eyes shut only to open them swiftly. Her description of the events, coupled with his own memories, made his head spin.

“Rex?”

“I’m here.”

There was a sound of cloth rustling in the dark and, gently, ever so slightly, he felt the brush of her cool fingertips over the back of his hand. Her words were just as soft and fleeting. “Thanks, Rex.”

She didn’t say anything else as she shifted away, leaving him where he was, reeling from her disclosure. He sat there, in the dark, listening to Ahsoka shifting on his bunk, with the details of all she’d told him running around and around in his brain. He wondered what kind of strength it had taken for her to tell him and, more importantly, what kind of strength would she need to move beyond it?

Rex sat there until his alarm went off at oh five hundred, waking a dozing Ahsoka and forcing them back into their daily routine. A routine changed only by the fact that Rex now knew what she’d been subjected to at the hands of the Zygerrian as told by Ahsoka.

He couldn’t fathom what had to come next.

* * *

One look at Rex as he stepped into the medbay with the medkit he’d been using to treat Ahsoka put Kix on alert. He looked much like Coric had described post Teth. “Rough night, Captain?”

“You don’t know the half of it, Kix.” Rex walked straight over to him and placed the medkit on the table. “Refill that for me.”

“Yes, sir. Did something happen last night?” Rex had crossed his arms over his chest and was staring off into the empty examination room, a frown on his face. “Sir?”

Rex grunted in response.

“How’s the Commander this morning?”

“Coherent.”

“Which is more than you appear to be.” Opening the kit, Kix began to take inventory, pleased it see it wasn’t as depleted as the last time Rex had brought it. Mindful of the fact there were two other brothers recuperating in the curtained areas furthers from their discussion, Kix pitched his voice low. “ _Did_ something happen last night, sir?”

“Ahsoka came to see me.”

His hands paused, his head coming up sharply in surprise. “She left her room?”

“At oh two hundred hours, Kix.”

Processing that for a moment, Kix went back to his task. “Did she say why?”

“Nightmares. About being drugged. You were right,” and Rex didn’t sound happy about _that_ , “they used some kind of paralytic agent on her.”

“There were still traces in her blood work, Rex.” He wasn’t going to apologize for having run the samples he’d gotten off of Rex’s kit. Anything that was potent enough to survive outside of the body even after being countered was something to be worried about. “I wasn’t making that up.”

“Are you sure it’s gone?”

“There were also traces of a counter agent,” Kix divulged reluctantly. “Whatever that poison was, it broke down days ago.”

“Good.” Rex looked down at the kit as Kix closed the lid and then spoke bluntly. “The General wants to put her in the field.”

“I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“I know,” a hard tick started in Rex’s cheek. “I told him so but without you or Coric or another medic having seen her, he seems to think she’s able to return to duty.”

“That she came to see you last night is a good sign her injuries are healing,” Kix offered. “Yesterday, she couldn’t walk on her own.”

“Not for long distances, no.”

“Your quarters aren’t exactly next to hers, sir. It’s a fair distance.”

“But not a battle zone, Kix. You saw her when we pulled her out of the pirate’s ship. She’s not ready, not by a long shot.”

“I have faith in your assessment, sir, but she is the General’s Padawan.”

“He hasn’t seen her yet.”

“Word has it there’s a debriefing this morning. Fives mentioned a tinny hunt?”

“Oh nine hundred,” confirmed Rex. “The General’s told me to bring the Commander.”

“How’d she take it?”

“I haven’t told her yet.”

“You said she came to your quarters. You must have had the opportunity to-”

“No.” Kix snapped his lips closed as Rex cut him off, the following bombshell knocking his equilibrium off kilter. “You and Coric were right, Kix. She told me last night what happened with that furry-” Rex bit off his short, soft words.

Swallowing hard, Kix could only imagine what his Captain must be thinking, having actually _seen_ an assault in progress. For himself, part of him wished Rex hadn’t killed the Zygerrian outright. He’d robbed those who knew the circumstances of the chance to make the monster pay for his crimes. “And… how’s she doing this morning?” 

“Still sleeping in my quarters.”

Kix blinked. “Sir?”

“She wouldn’t leave.”

Kix suspected by the way Rex looked away, frowning, that his Captain hadn’t had the heart to make her; especially after she’d opened up to him. Kix wasn’t certain that if he’d been in the Captain’s place he’d have been able to insist on anything either. As far as he was concerned, his Commander could ask for anything and the men of Torrent Company would deliver it to her promptly. Especially swift retribution on the pirate who’d captured her to begin with. “Did she say why?”

“Apparently she feels safe there.”

“It _is_ the last place anyone will think to look for her.” Considering it, Kix examined Rex’s expression and decided to venture a suggestion. “You may want to consider allowing her to stay until she’s willing to reintegrate, Rex.” Rex arched his eyebrows in response so Kix expanded on his thought. “She feels safest with you and won’t let anyone see her. The men are already talking, especially the shinies. If the Commander is in your quarters, your visits to hers will fall off and the men will find another topic to discuss.”

“I somehow doubt that, especially if any of them get wind of her being there.”

“And we can deal with that if and when it comes it. She needs to be our priority right now; we can deal with whatever fallout later.”

Running one hand over his head before reaching down to collect the freshly stocked medkit, Rex sighed. “I’ll think about it, Kix. Thanks.” 

Rex turned to go, but Kix had one more thing to say. “Sir?”

“What is it, Kix?”

“Fives, sir.”

His words gave Rex pause and the Captain turned back. “What about him?”

“He was in the room when the Commander refused treatment. He’s not buying into the explanation we’ve circulated.” Which, Kix reflected, was probably something they should have seen coming; they all knew how sharp the ARC was, they simply hadn’t factored the fact he’d _been_ there into their plan.

“I’ll talk to him.”

“That might not be wise, sir.” Reluctant, Kix voiced his opinion on the matter. “Having heard some of his thoughts on the matter, only a face to face encounter with the Commander will satisfy him.”

“Thanks Kix. I’d better collect Ahsoka.”

“Sir? Didn’t you hear what I said?”

“I heard.” Rex’s half smile was almost amused as he flashed it before walking away. “Fives is on the briefing list.”

As quickly as he’d come, the Captain left and Kix exhaled a long, deep breath. Hopefully Ahsoka was well enough to handle Fives, otherwise everything he and the Captain and Sergeant had been doing to protect her would be for naught.

* * *

The sound of the door opening drew Ahsoka from the nap she’d been trying to have. Lifting her head, she spied Rex in the doorway and quickly pushed to a seating position, scooting backwards to put her back against the wall. His expression visibly tightened.

“Can I come in?”

“It’s your room.”

“That wasn’t the question, Commander.”

Ahsoka flinched at his formal tone. “Come in, Rex.” He stepped inside and closed the door behind him, hooking his bucket to his belt. Looking at him, her heart sank. He was all official business. While comforting, it also meant he was here for a reason and not just to keep her company. “What is it?”

“There’s a briefing at oh nine hundred. The General’s asked me to ensure you attend.”

Her eyes widened and she immediately shook her head. “I can’t-”

“This isn’t optional, Ahsoka,” Rex stayed where he was, giving her as much space as the room allowed. His voice lost the formal edge. “He’s worried about you. All of the men are. The longer you stay out of sight, the worse it gets.”

“I’m not ready. I can’t…” she bit her lip. “I can’t face them yet, Rex.”

“If you don’t come, I suspect it will give him cause to call the Jedi Healers.”

“No!” Her gaze flew back to his. Jedi Healers meant examinations and examinations meant questions. Questions she wasn’t ready to answer. She’d only just begun to truly process what had happened to her, if they decided to take her away from Rex… “No healers. No medics. You promised!”

It wasn’t fair to throw that back at him, but she’d already begun to panic a little at the thought of having to _explain_ any of this to another Jedi. Rex understood because Rex had been there and Rex was… Rex. He was her best friend and partner. No matter what had happened to the other, they’d always supported one another and she unashamedly needed him now more than ever.

His presence had disconcerted her but Ahsoka had forced herself to stop thinking of him as a _man_ and instead as a suit of armor with Rex’s face; an androgynous entity that had her well-being at heart.

“I told you no medics. I can’t do anything about Jedi. You know that.”

“I can’t…” she clutched his blanket and shook her head again. “I can’t go, Rex.”

“If you don’t, he’ll come looking for you.” Rex sighed. “I’m sorry, Ahsoka, I’d hoped to give you more time.”

“You’re _sorry_? I told you what happened the day you found me Rex, I _told you_ and you’re _sorry_?”

“This has nothing to do with last night and everything to do with the fact that you’re a part of this army as much as the rest of us.” His tone had gotten hard again, making her flinch. “The General has asked that our Commander be at a briefing. There is _nothing_ I can say or do to countermand that order. Only a medic has the authority.”

Ahsoka pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, drawing in a ragged breath as she struggled to find the sense of security that coming to his room had given her. It was there, small and fragile, but there, and she grasped it with both hands. Despite that, the doubts closed in on her. Just having Rex standing in the room was enough to put her on edge.

_Anakin wants me at a briefing. A briefing with Clones - men! It’s too soon, I can’t do this!_

“You can do this, Ahsoka.” Rex’s encouragement countered her thoughts exactly, as if he could hear them. “It’ll be thirty minutes, maybe less. He’s not asking you give the briefing, only that you attend.”

Lifting her head, she looked at him, unaware that a pleading expression had settled upon her face. “Rex.”

“I’ll be beside you,” he looked as if he wanted to approach her, but didn’t. “You won’t be alone with them.”

Put like that, the band around her chest started to ease. “Do… you know who is supposed to be there?”

“You and I and Fives, Coric, Jesse, Kix, and the General. This is an exclusively Torrent Company Operation.”

All familiar faces, some of whom she knew had been with Rex to rescue her, all of which she knew had been on the ship looking for her. She knew it because Rex had made a point of letting her know who had been assigned to the rescue mission.

She jerked as Rex moved, tense but forcing herself to relax as he finally drew near, taking a knee next to the bunk but making no move to touch her. “Everyone who will be there is worried about you.” His voice was pitched low, but his gaze was earnest. “I believe you can do this. You need to.”

“Don’t tell me what I need!” She snapped at him and then inwardly cringed despite the fact he’d all but ignored every one of her outbursts in favor of continuing to assist her. “What I _need_ is to be left alone!”

“We’re on the front lines of a war, Ahsoka. That’s an unrealistic expectation.” His tone was regretful. “I’m no Jedi. It’s not up to me. I’ve given my recommendation to the General and he’s chosen to ignore it.” She tensed as he reached under his kama, only to relax as he pulled a shiny cylindrical object from beneath it and offered it to her. “He wants you back in the field.”

The lightsaber in Rex’s hand was similar to the lightsaber she’d been carrying when Hondo had captured her. She shied away from the thought and shook her head. “I don’t want it.”

“You don’t want him to ask questions either.” He nudged the lightsaber her way, opening his fingers so it lay across his palm. “If you have the one, the only question anyone will ask is where the other one went.”

“Rex-”

“Tell ‘em you lost it defending the younglings.”

She blinked, surprised by his gruff suggestion. “You know about that?”

“The Younglings broadcasted it. It sounds like you’re something of a hero to them. They’re the reason we found you.”

Hesitantly, she reached out to pluck the lightsaber from his grip. She’d all but forgotten the circumstances of _why_ and _how_ she’d become a prisoner. Holding the lightsaber, as the metal and fabric slid through her hand, was a good reminder of what she’d been protecting. Of _who_ she’d been protecting.

Taking a deep breath, she let it out, feeling a little shaky but grateful. Her fingers adjusted to close tightly over the hilt and brought it, cross wise, over her chest. It was both familiar and foreign, but the knowledge she had a weapon she could use was reassuring. Not that she’d ever use it on Rex. “Thanks Rex.”

A quick glance at the chrono and he turned back her way. “The meeting’s set to start in five. Do you need anything from your room?”

A quick mental inventory had her shaking her head. She hadn’t yet replaced her battle dress and wasn’t sure if she could have brought herself to wear an identical one anyway. “I’ll go as I am.”

“Very good, Commander.” He pushed to his feet. “After you.”

* * *

Entering the room with Rex, Ahsoka was grateful when he made no move to direct her to go stand beside Anakin as she normally would be. Trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible, she slipped next to Rex and tried to stay in his shadow.

It didn’t work, and if she’d been thinking straight, she would have realized sooner it was doomed to fail from the start. As she and Rex took up their positions, Anakin looked up from the holoprojector controls and flashed her a smile.

“Hey, Snips. You’re a little out of uniform.”

His address drew everyone’s attention to her presence and all six sets of the eyes in the room turned her way, making the room’s rating, in her mind, go from uncomfortable to semi-hostile. As if reading their minds, she could practically _see_ them agreeing with Anakin.

The loose top was short sleeved and covered her shoulders, exposing only the edges of the doctored injuries on her upper arms. The tails drifted down, covering her entirely to the waist where it was tucked into a pair of loose, black leggings. The only part of her old uniform she was wearing were the boots. She’d had several pairs made and they were the only footwear she had.

Still, she swallowed hard, reminding herself that Rex was beside her and she could make the door in seconds. A door that was still open and unlocked and, even if it had been locked, it _wasn’t_ a biometric one. Looking at Anakin and nowhere else, she offered him a weak smile, knowing her voice wasn’t as firm as it should have been. “It’s easier on my injuries.”

“How’re you feeling?”

“I’m... here.”

Anakin blinked at the unorthodox statement and tried again. “You’re nearly healed it looks like.”

“Getting there.” Her agreement was again softer than she’d have liked and even Ahsoka inwardly cringed at the almost timid tone in her voice. Fives and Jesse exchanged looks as Kix and Coric sidled a half step closer to them.

“She’s still not fully recovered, sir.” Rex stepped in before Anakin could ask her anything else with a nod to Coric and Kix. “The medics have recommended we keep this short so she can rest.”

Ahsoka could feel Anakin’s gaze on her, all of their gazes on her, as she looked away, unable to look at any of them. Kix, fortunately, spoke to back Rex up.

“If you want her battle ready sir, the more rested she is, the better.”

“We’ll keep this short then in deference to the fact my Padawan needs her beauty sleep,” quipped Anakin, flashing her another smile before getting down to business.

The plan was straight forward and simple. The moon had a place where they could stage from after bombarding the target from orbit, softening it up before Torrent Company came in on a three sided coordinated attack to eliminate any residual resistance.

Despite the fact it was a straight forward plan, Ahsoka found herself having trouble concentrating. The room was closing in on her, the walls seeming to shrink, the men in the room seeming to gain presence, _growing_ , with each passing second. Only Rex didn’t change. Rex remained as he always was, her bulwark and at her side.

With the details hashed out, Anakin turned on the holo projector and closed the door with a wave of his hand.

The closing of the door proved to be a trigger.

With a cry, Ahsoka broke away from Rex’s side and hit the door running, palming it open before disappearing into the hallway at a dead run.

_“Ahsoka!”_

_“Commander!”_

Rex and Fives called after her, but she didn’t stop until she was already at the other end, out of the room and _away_ from everything. Gasping for breath, she held one shaking hand to her chest, leaning against the wall for support. The hallway was, surprisingly, deserted and she tilted her head back, closing her eyes on the sting of tears.

 _I’m alright._ She told herself vehemently. _Nothing happened. They won’t hurt me. Rex wouldn’t let them. I’m safe._ The mantra repeated a few of times in her head but did little to calm her. Deep breathing eased the shades of panic and after a few moments she could breathe again without the band of tension around her chest.

“Ahsoka?”

Anakin’s voice drew her head up and around, her whole body tensing to flee on pure reflex as her hand against the wall curled, pressing her fingertips flat. She didn’t answer him, simply gazed back at him.

He was looking at her worriedly, approaching at a slightly less than normal pace, as if checking her over before he entered her space. “Was it the room or something else?”

“What?”

 “They kept you locked up on Hondo’s ship, right?”

Ahsoka shuddered as he said the pirate’s name, looking away, her fingertips going numb.

Anakin didn’t seem to notice as a wry smile crossed his lips. “You know my history. You know I was a slave before becoming a Jedi. I have an idea of the worst conditions one can endure.”

“I’m sorry, Anakin,” she couldn’t bring herself to call him ‘Master’ or ‘Skyguy’ and, despite the fact every fiber of her being was screaming at her to _get away_ from him, stood her ground. She even offered part of an explanation. “I just couldn’t stand it. When you closed the door-”

He held up one hand to stop her. “Easy, Snips. Rex warned me you weren’t ready for this, but we are going to need you on this one. _I’m_ going to need you. We drop in thirty six hours.”

Thirty six hours and she’d be back on the front line. Could Anakin see the way she was trembling? Could he _see_ the fear she was feeling, or maybe sense it? There was no indication on his face and it was taking all of her strength not to run from him. Instead she swallowed, trying to get a tongue that suddenly seemed stuck to the roof of her mouth to work, and then nodded when it wouldn’t.

“Is that a yes, you’ll be ready?”

She didn’t have a choice and Ahsoka nodded again.

“Good. You’ve had me worried, Snips. I was starting to think you’d never let anyone but Rex see you ever again.”

Nothing, to her way of thinking, would have been better. She jerked, jumping away with a sharp, “Don’t!” when Anakin made a motion towards one of her arms.

He blinked in surprise and frowned. “Ahsoka?”

“Don’t touch me!”

Anakin recoiled but Ahsoka was helpless to the compulsion, the reaction of his presence; she rubbed her arms, sinking back against the wall as she shifted all the more out of his reach.

To her relief, Anakin didn't try and follow her; instead he seemed to be assessing her, his gaze lingering on the edges of her clothing where bacta patches posted through - specifically on her arms. His frown appeared as he seemed to take the still-healing and visible injuries as the reason she didn’t want him touching her. “Rex was right, those look like you were mauled.”

She choked, her eyes burning suddenly, the _feel_ of the injuries suddenly burning within her flesh. Just as she was sagging against the wall, Rex’s voice rang out, drawing Anakin’s attention away from her.

“General.”

“We’ll be back in a minute, Rex.”

“Fives is mapping out your instructions, sir.” Rex was coming closer and Ahsoka focused on that. His voice was nearer than before. _I’m safe_ , she told herself firmly, _Atai is dead. Rex killed him. Rex is here. I’m safe._ “I can handle the Commander.”

The implication was unmistakable and Anakin sighed, turning away. “Alright, Rex. Bring her back in when she’s ready.”

“Yes sir.”

“And don’t be too long.” Anakin glanced back her way and Ahsoka offered him a weak smile. “I’m counting on you for this one, Snips. Take a few minutes, but keep it short.”

Anakin was gone before she could nod to the order, and Rex was there in his place. “Ahsoka?”

“Give me a minute.”

“Sit down.”

As if his words were a signal, her legs buckled and she slipped to the floor. Pulling them in, she placed her forehead against her knees and forced herself to breathe. A minute passed and then two before the panic and desperation faded to levels she felt she could control. Lifting her head, it was to see Rex leaning against the wall across from her, his arms crossed, watching her. Even as their eyes met, his head turned, scanning the hallways, and then back down towards the meeting room.

He was giving her time and making sure she had what she needed without crowding her.

 _I hate this!_ The thought struck her as she inwardly cringed, struggling for control. _I hate feeling like this; like I’m going to jump out of my skin every time someone moves or says something. I hate not feeling like_ me _!_ But… _could_ she ever be herself again? Her time on board Hondo’s ship had fundamentally changed her life, changed _her_ , and at that moment, while Ahsoka knew she hated what she’d become right then and there, she didn’t know how to change it back.

Every reaction, every thought, every feeling was programmed from hours upon hours, days upon days, the abuse and fear. She’d spent such a small time in Hondo’s clutches and yet, despite years of training as a Jedi, it had taken just under a week of continual, horrific abuse to completely change her.

No. That wasn’t right.

Ahsoka inhaled deeply. She was different yes, but she wasn’t changed so much as fragmented. Part of her old self, her fighting spirit was still there. It was within her even now, giving her the strength to consider going back into the room with Fives, Jesse, Coric, Kix and Anakin. It was urging her to get back on her feet and face the fears that held her in thrall.

Except she wasn’t that strong anymore.

She knew what dangers and horrors lurked in the darkest corners of the Galaxy. She knew that there were things she couldn’t control, obstacles she couldn’t overcome. She _knew_ there were failures that would cost her more than she was willing to pay.

“Ahsoka.”

She turned to look back at Rex, her heart still racing, but not as hard or as loud as it had been in the briefing room. “I don’t think I can go back in there, Rex.”

“You can.”

“I can’t be in there with them.” The words were practically torn from her. “Having Anakin lock the door-”

“Two minutes.” His counter was firm. “Two minutes and we leave.”

Would two minutes be enough to get what they needed from the maps? Would two minutes be short enough that she wouldn’t end up the same as before, running from the room and having Anakin come after her? She couldn’t risk it. Just thinking about going back was making her apprehension level climb again. “It’s a bad idea, Rex.”

“You were there almost ten minutes before you left.”

 _Before you left._ She choked on an inappropriate laugh, helpless tears stinging her eyes. She _hated_ feeling like this! “Before I ran, you mean.”

Rex didn’t dignify her caustic comment with an acknowledgement. “Ten minutes, Ahsoka. All I’m asking you to try is two.”

 _Two minutes._ If Rex was there, surely she could handle two minutes? “You won’t leave me alone in there, right?”

“I’ll even stand by the door to keep it open.”

Two minutes and Rex would be there to protect her, as he’d promised, for the entirety of the time.

Taking a deep breath, and letting it out slowly, she repeated the process a couple of times before shifting and moving to get to her feet. As she straightened her legs, Rex moved, stepping the two strides to stand before her, his hand extended. Looking at it, and then into his face, she swallowed hard. Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears, the panic from the conference room returning, but the arm made no move towards her. Her gaze locked with his and his fingers stretched a little, as if in invitation. 

Reaching for it, she timidly placed her hand in his. He dipped as she did, grasping her forearm as her fingers closed about his forearm in return reflex. With his help, she regained her feet, was released, and then left with an abundance of personal space around her.

Rex stopped close but not crowding her. Close enough to be reassuring and to step in should anything happen. Walking back to the conference room together, she struggled with the knot of anxiety in her stomach as the band around her chest threatened to tighten again. Pausing outside the door, just out of view of the troopers inside, Rex flashed her two digits with a solemn expression.

 _Two minutes._  

Taking a deep breath, Ahsoka went back inside.

* * *

Fives frowned as Ahsoka and Rex returned to the briefing room, glancing at his _vod_ only to see that Rex was focused on Ahsoka and not looking his way. Following Rex’s gaze, Fives narrowed his own on Ahsoka. Having taken her in originally in some detail, he’d been reassured that she hadn’t seemed as damaged as Kix’s assessment had implied.

After seeing her run from the room, Fives took another, longer, look. Assessing her, he was concerned to see a few things he’d not noticed, or hadn’t wanted to acknowledge, before. The slashes, barely visible on the edges of her sleeves, were healing under a clear bacta patch; the fact she’d been rescued several days ago and they were still visible, indicated just how serious an injury they’d been.

He remembered seeing blood marring her skin when they’d found her, but had hadn’t expected them to still be visible after bacta treatment. Watching her so closely, he could see she was trembling. Shaking, her hands laced together in front of her, the skin tight across her knuckles where she-

Coric nudged him. “Fives!”

Dragging his gaze back to the map, he focused his attention as the General summarized the pertinent points of the attack and then asked for suggestions. Jesse voiced a question Fives didn’t consciously listen to, darting a look back at Ahsoka. Her trembling seemed worse.

Barely a minute had passed before Rex stepped into the conversation and, before Fives or any of the rest of them could stop him, escaped with the Commander, leaving them with Anakin to finish hashing out details. Confident he had the details he needed for his part of the plan, and that the briefing just before the start of the mission on planet would provide the rest, Fives excused himself.

Kix tried to stop him, but Fives pinned him with a look as he sidestepped, and escaped. Rex and Ahsoka were already at the other end of the hallway as he stepped out, closing the door behind him and raising his voice.

“Commander.”

She whirled at his call, pulling up short and her eyes widened for a moment. He saw her take a deep breath, visually bracing herself before she spoke. “Fives.”

Inwardly he frowned but made no outward appearance of it. She didn’t _sound_ like the Ahsoka he knew. “It’s good to see you’re on your feet again.”

“Thanks.”

She side stepped as he drew near and Fives slowed his pace, confused at her reaction. Rex remained, surprisingly, silent. Doing nothing more than observing from the side until Fives got within a couple of body lengths. Then, to his surprise, Rex stepped forward, as if to intercept him, drawing him up short and Fives arches his eyebrows. “There a problem, _vod_ ?”

Rex glanced back at Ahsoka who gave a slight shake of her head and moved to stand beside Rex.

“Did you need something, Fives?” Her voice was slightly stronger, but there was no mistaking the slight cracking on the word ‘need’.

Fives could see, now that he was in front of him, she was still trembling and her eyes were still wide. There was an air about her he’d never felt before that was nothing like the confident Commander he remembered. Even as he watched, her hands curled into fists, as if she was struggling. Even standing before him, Fives could see she was hiding _something_. _What the hell happened on the pirate’s ship?_ “We’ve all been worried about you, Commander. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Thank you, Fives.” She seemed to wave a little unsteadily on her feet and one of her hands came up to touch the wall beside her. “Rex?”

“Anything more will have to wait, Fives. She needs to rest.”

Ahsoka nodded, hesitating for a brief moment before turning to go, leaving him with Rex. 

Fives frowned as she left without so much as a word, speaking in low tones to his former Captain. “She’s been resting for four days.” But Fives found he wasn’t exactly as vehement as he had been. Looking at her, he could understand why she’d been on bed rest. Even four days post captivity, she still looked exhausted and worn… _smaller_ than he’d ever seen her. “Is she ready for this mission, Rex? She looks like she should still be in a bacta tank for a cycle.”

“The General appears to believe so.”

Which meant that Rex’s hands were tied. “Kix said something about a paralytic agent being found in her blood work.” Frowning, Fives looked to where Ahsoka had disappeared around the corner ahead. “She still seems shaky, are they having trouble removing it?”

“Ahsoka won’t let Kix examine her, Fives.”

“Why not?”

“She has her reasons.”

“That’s ridiculous, if she needs a medic-”

“Those are her orders, Fives.” Rex shook his head. “Kix and Coric won’t exert their ranks as medics to make her and she still outranks me.”

“Maybe the General could order them to?”

Rex looked reluctant to explore that option and changed the subject unexpectedly. “We hit the deck in thirty six hours and the Commander will be with us on his orders.”

Fives’ frown deepened. “If she’s going to be a liability on the line because of her injuries-”

“She won’t be.”

“She can barely stand up straight right now!” He waved in the direction she’d gone. “You saw her, Rex, she’s…”

“She’s what?”

Fives couldn’t think of the right word. “On edge,” he finally ventured. “What was happening in the room where we found her? That wasn’t your typical torture or chamber.”

Rex’s responding grunt was neither confirmation nor denial. “Kix reported that the poison is fully out of her system, Fives,” again he changed the subject, something Fives would never have expected from the normally straight shooting Captain. “The next twenty four hours should indicate if she’ll be mission capable.”

“Rex-”

The Captain held up one hand. “As to what we saw when we found her, I’ve asked you not to speak of it. Don’t make me make it an order.”

Speechless - Rex hadn’t yet pulled rank on him as an ARC - Fives lost his chance at rebuttal as Rex disappeared down the hallway after Ahsoka. His eyes narrowed, his misgivings over this mission growing. It was supposed to be a routine assault but even a routine assault could get ugly if there was a breakdown in Command.

Hopefully Rex was right and Ahsoka would be mission capable by the time their boots hit the dirt. If she wasn’t, Rex could always opt to leave her at the staging area. He would simply have to trust that Rex would do what was best, as always, for his men.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**_Resolute - Post Ahsoka’s Captivity Day Six_ **

Ahsoka checked her appearance in the looking glass once more, running her hands down over the sides of the now unfamiliar battle dress.

Her hands shook as she took in the fact her neck looked bare without the golden diamond pendant Torrent Company had given her, but she shied away from that thought. She couldn’t remember when Ho- _he_ had taken it from her or where she’d lost it in the blur that had been her captivity.

She ran her fingers across the smooth surface, lamenting its loss.

The fabric on the back of her dress, where it grasped her neck, thankfully, hid the most of the damage she’d suffered to her upper body. There was little she could do for the bruising on her montrals and lekku, but the areas damaged were dark already and few, even observant clones, would likely notice. The cuffs on her arms caught on her bacta patches and the diamond patterns through the upper arm bracers were intersected with faint, pink lines of scar tissue.

In the front, she’d added a piece of black material to cover the gap at the center of her chest, the fabric clinging a little too faithfully to her slightly diminished curves. It hugged her hips where a plain black and gold belt now held the single lightsaber in her arsenal.

The skirt was still short. Where once it had been freeing, it now made her self-conscious and she tugged at the hem to try and draw it down below the midpoint on her thighs. Underneath, she wore the typical leggings, but these were solid black, without the diamond patterns she’d once preferred. She had no wish to display the ugly red slashes which were still healing.

Her feet were bare, but only because she didn’t need her boots in her quarters, and her toes curled into the floor with nerves.

Ahsoka had never felt uncomfortable in her clothing before, and had admittedly worn a lot less when she’d first joined Torrent Company, but now... she felt exposed. As if the fabric were see through and everyone would be looking beneath it for the flaws marring her once smooth skin.

The reflection appeared to be similar to the young woman she’d once been, with minor differences. That thought was followed closely with the knowledge that the image before her might have once been a warrior, but that warrior had _failed_ to fight off Hondo.

Her hands began to shake and Ahsoka quickly tugged and tore at the fastenings on her clothes, suddenly desperate to get them off. They hit the deck, one piece after another, in quick succession until she stood in just her underthings, backing away from the pile of fabric as if it were a dangerous beast.

She shook violently as she turned her back on the fabric and collected the looser clothing she’d been wearing for the last few days. Her hands were shaking so badly, she was able to get the shirt and leggings on, but the shirt’s clasps refused to close.

As she was struggling with them, the chime at her door sounded and she paused, looking towards the door fearfully. According to Rex, word had gotten around that she was back on her feet and had attended the briefing yesterday. As a result, she kept expecting to find someone other than Rex on the other side.

Thankfully, after Fives ambushing them in the hallway, no one else had made the attempt. It was possible Rex’s excuse that she needed to rest was working. Not that she hadn’t rested, but the nightmares were ever on the edges of her consciousness. Exhaustion, she’d discovered, was her friend. 

The morning she’d gone to see Rex at oh two hundred hours, she hadn’t realized until later that she’d slept soundly for almost sixteen hours prior to the nightmare. The longer she could remain awake, the fewer nightmares she’d have and the better the chance she would be able to rest when she finally closed her eyes.

The sound of the lock code being entered reached her, and her shoulders sagged. _Rex_. Turning her back on the door, she continued to try and close the clasps on her shirt, trying to ignore the fact that the clothes she’d just torn from her body were ones she’d need to be wearing in under twelve hours.

There was a pause before the door opened and Rex’s voice reached her. “Ahsoka?”

“Over here, Rex.”

The lock engaged moments after the door closed, but Ahsoka didn’t turn to see him. Her fingers were refusing to cooperate and her shirt was hanging open from her chin to her naval. Grabbing the open sides, she pulled the right side to the left and overlapped it with the other before crossing her arms around her middle to keep it closed. Nervously, she turned to face him.

Rex’s face, as normal, was impassive. “You’re not in uniform.”

“Should I be?”

His brow knit but, to her surprise, let it drop. “We drop in six hours. Do you have everything you need?”

She offered him a nod.

“Then get some rest.”

“You’re not staying?”

“Coric and I need to cover battle contingencies.”

Ahsoka bit her lip. It was a duty she’d previously performed _with_ Rex. “Do I…?”

“No.”

“Won’t he ask questions?”

“No.”

Rex sounded so confident it filled her with relief and the tension in her shoulders eased somewhat. It should have bothered her that Coric _wasn’t_ going to ask questions about her absence but she was simply too grateful to escape the meeting it didn’t cross her mind.

“I spoke with the General and modified the plan. It requires you and I to land ahead of the troops,” Rex told her evenly. “We’ll need to leave in four hours.”

“I thought you just said six.” The prospect of wearing her battle dress earlier than was necessary and for longer than expected was already making her skin crawl.

“By going down early, we can recon.” He hesitated for a moment before continuing. “And we’ll be alone on the transport.”

 _Alone on the transport._ She’d been so focused on having to wear her battle dress and overcoming that hurdle she hadn’t even considered the next one. The one that require she be packed into a landing craft with her men, _surrounded_ by them, with no way out. Her palms began to sweat with the thought. Latching onto Rex’s words, she repeated them. “We’re going down alone?”

“I thought it would be easier for you.”

“Thanks, Rex.”

“Be ready at eleven hundred hours. Watch will just have changed and the rest of the boys will be in their racks until oh two hundred. The path to the flight deck should be primarily clear.” Nodding to her, he turned to go. “I’ll see you then.”

“Rex, wait.”

He stopped at the door, turning to look at her quizzically.

“Shouldn’t… you be here, with the men?”

“Coric and I are covering that contingency. Be ready, Ahsoka.”

The door closed and locked behind him, leaving her with the pile of offending fabric by her looking glass and the knowledge that the next twenty four hours was going to throw her back into combat if she was ready for it or not.

* * *

Landing on planet several hours later, Rex stepped down from the transport, turning in time to see Ahsoka’s boots hitting the ground. She was pale, her normal sienna vibrancy more of a dull orange, and he could glimpse the way her heart was racing when she turned her head this way and that.

Fortunately, the muster point they’d chosen hadn’t yet been overrun with equipment and, as Rex had volunteered them for forward recon to the site, they’d have an hour or two mostly to themselves.

He flicked on the comm. making sure he had it on speaker. “Standard aerial surveillance, Hawk. Give me eyes.”

_“Copy that, sir.”_

The LAAT/i took off at a casual angle, leaving himself and Ahsoka behind. The field of rocks stretched out on either side of where they’d landed. A vast, barren plain at the bottom of a coulee.

“There’s not a lot we need to do recon _for_ , Rex.” Ahsoka’s words reached him as she stood spinning in place, slowly turning to face him. “You can see everything from here right up to the base of the ridges.”

It was the first _normal_ sounding thing she’d said to him since she’d left to play Master for the younglings and gotten captured. A half smile crossed his face. He’d had his doubts about dropping just the two of them when there was really no need for recon, but that comment made it all worth it.

Somewhere underneath the pain and confusion which had encapsulate her so completely, there were pieces of the old Ahsoka. Reaching them was simply proving to be difficult. Listening to her evaluate the military aspects of their landing zone was both refreshing and reassuring. Could his General be on to something in putting her back in the field?

Of course, at the moment, Ahsoka had acres of wide open space around her and only his boots on the ground nearby, giving her plenty of room.

Once Torrent Company started to land, however, it would be a different story.

The tanks and assault vehicles assigned to them for the mission would take up a good portion of the visible real estate. No tents or temporary units would be needed except for triage and the transports would drop the men in a single wave. It would get crowded. Fast. Faster than it would clear out.

Once assembled, the men would gather for final instructions before breaking into the three teams and moving into position to assault the target. Even as he was thinking about the placement and exit strategies from the coulee, flashes from space, accompanied by a delayed booming noise, indicated that the bombardment was under way.

Turning, he looked towards his companion.

Ahsoka had one hand shielding her eyes as she looked up into the pre-dawn sky, lit in the fading light of the sun. _Moons are always so backwards._ Sun set was actually sun rise and vice versa because of the planetary rotations.

“Moons are always so backwards.”

Rex arched his eyebrows, more surprised than he should have been to hear her echoing his thoughts.

Ahsoka didn’t seem to notice and continued. “It’s going to be pitch dark when we attack, isn’t it?”

“Is that a problem? _You_ can see in the dark.”

“Jealous?” She looked away, her expression and words far more solemn than they should have been. Even without seeing her expression, Rex would have known her thoughts were a million miles away. “Trust me when I say it’s not always a good thing.”

He didn’t ask about the cryptic comment but he could guess where it had come from. _Everything_ cryptic seemed to have stemmed from her recent imprisonment. He might not understand it, but he _did_ get that she needed time and space to come to terms with it. He’d certainly needed time and space after Umbara and, thanks to Ahsoka, he’d gotten it. “What do you see?”

“Not a lot. Mostly just rock and edges of ridges. Was the topography map accurate?”

“Yes.”

Ahsoka became silent again, watching the area with a critical eye, and it heartened him to see her so involved. If this worked, he was going to owe his General an apology. 

When she spoke, it was the analytical battle mind he’d come to appreciate at his side these last few years. “This is going to be a tight fit once everything starts landing. Are you sure Anakin’s plan of a simultaneous attack is the right one? If we briefed each wave separately and sent them out one at a time, there’d be less of a chance for a preemptive strike.”

“And more time for the droids to skip around and encounter one wave before the others.” Rex shook his head. “The bombardment, coupled with the three prong attack, will ensure we catch them without putting any part of the Company at risk more than another.”

“I just don’t like the idea of exposing all of us at once.”

“The bombardment won’t be ending until we’re already on the move, Commander.” He dropped her title deliberately and drew her gaze, noting how it clouded almost immediately. “This is as basic an operation as it gets.”

“It’s too easy.”

 _That’s the point_ , he wanted to tell her. _Anakin’s trying to snap you back to yourself._

Ahsoka couldn’t hear his thoughts though, and instead continued to speak.“If we had another company or two, we could cover the flanks on the left and right and have Torrent Company move up the center at strength.”

“The terrain won’t allow for large troop movements. Coulees like this one aren’t frequent.”

She made a face, looking around again. “Good point.”

“The General’s plan is sound.”

“Then why are we here to recon when we obviously don’t need it?”

Rex motioned for her to follow him and headed for the highest point he could reach on the edge of the plateau.

“Where are we going, Rex?”

Glancing at her, he nodded exaggeratedly upwards. “Up.”

She made an exasperated sound as he began to climb, the light of the sun casting the ridge in shadow as he grabbed various outcroppings to pull himself up the near vertical ridge-line. Ahsoka was behind him, following his path, and when he reached the top, Rex deliberately stepped away from the edge, wanting to turn back and offer her a hand, but he suspected she’d have objected. Doing this for herself would be good for her, right?

He waited a few feet from where she was pulling herself over the lip, watching her on his HUD even as he took in the destruction being rained down on the moon in the distance. Explosions could just barely be seen in the far, darkened sky, the sinking sun behind them.

“Wow.”

Ahsoka joined him, standing to his side about an arm’s length away. She didn’t say anything else as she stood there, watching the explosions fading away, the distant _booming_ of impacts reaching them several minutes after the visual effects.

They stayed that way as the sun was setting behind them, casting the entirety of the landscape before them in growing shadows and brilliant light. The bombardment would go on for several hours, but Rex was content to stay where he was for as long as Ahsoka wanted. She would need time to prepare for the idea of being surrounded by her men again. Hopefully, things would go smoothly.

If they didn’t, though, Rex was already prepared to extract her from the situation as swiftly as possible. The men didn’t need to see their Commander breakdown on the field. What they needed was Ahsoka, confident and ready to lead them.

Looking at her, watching her, Rex wanted to believe in her. _Longed_ to. Yet, even as he coached her silently to prepare for what was coming, he couldn’t help but get a sinking feeling that everything she was presenting to him right now was nothing more than a fake front; a façade of courage that could and would fail at any moment.

Rex, cliché as it was, found he had a bad feeling about the upcoming action. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to avoid it.

* * *

Darkness, full darkness, fell and as it neared the middle of the night, the landing action began as the _Resolute_ stepped up her bombardment. Rex and Ahsoka were at the designated makeshift meeting point for the Sergeants assigned as backups for the plan to each of the three main prongs of attack.

Ahsoka was setting up a map projector, engrossed in her work, when the other men started to arrive. Jesse, Coric, Slider, Silver and Grav filed in by twos and threes until they were in a near circle around the area where Ahsoka was to give the final debrief.

A quick look showed Fives as the straggler, but Fives had been in the planning session, so Rex began the debriefing. Ensuring his speaker was on, he dived right in. “The _Resolute’s_ bombardment is scheduled to end in precisely one and a half hours. We need to be in position before then.” He turned it over to Ahsoka. “Commander?”

“General Skywalker has supplied us with a detailed plan,” her words were clipped and even in the darkness, lit only by the light of the glowing blue map, he could see how tightly she was wound, her gaze never leaving the diagram. “Captain Rex, ARC Fives and Sergeant Coric will each lead one prong of the attack.”

The map changed as she motioned to it, several other troopers crowing around on the edges of the briefing to gain a look, and Rex could see Ahsoka’s posture tighten by fractions. She didn’t lift her head to look at the men as she normally would have and he silently urged her to keep going. She touched a part of the map, zooming it in and her voice cracked as she spoke - but she forged ahead.

“Cap-tain Rex and I will take Alpha group up the middle. Sergeant Coric and Slider will take-”

“What’d I miss?”

Fives’ voice cut into the briefing as he pushed to the front, drawing Rex’s attention and Ahsoka’s head up.

Her reaction was near instantaneous. Her throat worked, her eyes widening, and he could practically see the panic sweeping through her as she took a half step back, her gaze sweeping the men around her, darting swiftly from side to side.

“Commander?”

“Are you alright, sir?”

The men drew closer out of concern, hemming her in and tightening the circle on all sides. She spun in place and Rex _saw_ the moment she realized she was surrounded.

“That’s far enough!”

His command was nearly drowned out by Ahsoka’s scream of, “Stay back!”, her arms held before her as if to ward them off. Fear, true _terror_ , was clearly visible to Rex as she spun through the holo map, seeking a way to get out.

The murmuring and questions had already started as Rex stepped to her side, but didn’t reach for her. “Commander.”

There was no recognition in her gaze, no _anything_ , except a desperate desire to flee. She bumped into one of the men behind her and, before Rex could stop her, she’d reacted. Her body surged, spinning, as she dropped Jesse with an unexpected leg sweep, hopping his downed form and dropping two more troopers in quick attacks.

The men responded, blasters lifting, and Rex’s voice rang above them. “Hold your fire!” He jumped the still downed Jesse and the other pair of his brothers, calling for her, grateful she’d surrendered him her lightsaber until battle was joined for fear of what she might do. “Ahsoka!

“Don’t! Don’t touch me!” she spun, practically running in reverse, catching her heel and going down. She nimbly rolled, but the move had let him gain ground and Rex saw what she didn’t. She was nearly at the base of one of the coulee’s edges.

“Ahsoka, it’s me. It’s _Rex_.”

Rex reached her side as her back hit the wall of the nearest ravine, effectively blocking her in. She struck out at him, trying to pull the same move she had on Jesse, and Rex caught her leg instead, blocking and turning it aside. Keeping one hand on her ankle, Rex bore her to the ground, catching the hand swinging at his bucket and pinning it to the ground.

Her confidence seemed to drain from her. Ahsoka collapsed, folding in on herself as she tore at his grip with a nearly inarticulate cry. “No!” tears streaked her cheeks as she struggled, “Please, _no_!”

One look at her cowering form, surrounded by the confusion and gossip of his brothers, Rex didn’t think to the battle ahead. All he could think of was the young woman before him. He pained him to see her like this, to see her _cowering_ from anything, especially _him_. He didn’t fully understand it, couldn’t fully grasp why she wasn’t yet capable of moving beyond her experience, but that didn’t stop him from knowing what needed to be done.

He needed to get her out of there. Now. Anakin had been wrong. Ahsoka wasn’t anywhere _near_ ready for this.

_I’m sorry, Ahsoka._

* * *

The pressure on her leg and arm disappeared suddenly and Ahsoka made to scramble backwards, panic having caught her completely in its grip. The flash of white before her eyes was the flare of Hondo’s shirt as he made to pin her, her nightmares once again reality.

“Ahsoka, it’s me.” His voice penetrated her panic as his gauntleted hands gripped her face and forced her to look at him. All she saw in his mirrored visor was her own pitiful reflection. “It’s _Rex_.”

“Let me-”

“Use the Force, Ahsoka,” he told her firmly.

 _Use the Force._ She wanted to laugh and cry, knowing it wouldn’t come to her call. She’d tried and tried, she’d been _desperate_ for its help and it had _failed_ her.

“Use the Force,” his repetition was firm, confident. “Trust me.”

 _Trust_. 

A bubble of inappropriate laughter welled up in her throat and she shook her head despite his grip. His fingertips gripped her face in a way that Hondo’s never had and her hands gripped his wrists automatically. She couldn’t _see_ his gaze behind the visor, but even in her panicked state, there was no denying the sincerity and familiarity of his next words.

“I’m going to get you out of here.”

“Don’t hurt me.”

His helmet paused, tilting and then ever so briefly, the eyes behind the visor seemed to bore into hers. She could _feel_ it. Just like she could _feel_ the sincerity of his vow.

“I will _never_ hurt you.” There was a pause. “I will _always_ protect you, Ahsoka.”

“The only constant is pain.”

“Wrong, kid. You’re dead wrong.”

 _Rex_.

His words triggered something within her and, instead of trying to pull his hands off her face, Ahsoka found herself suddenly wrapped around him, holding him with a desperate strength instead. Rex’s arms came around her back and under her legs, but she barely registered it. All she could _feel_ was the security of his arms around her, his existence the only thing keeping the oppressive presence of those she considered dangerous at bay.

  _“Clear a hole!”_

Rex hadn’t spoken, and Ahsoka’s grip on his tightened. She shook, trembling in his arms as they began to move. Slowly at first, Rex maneuvered her this way, as if avoiding obstacles for several paces before he began to walk in straight line, picking up speed.

“Coric!” Rex’s voice rang clear as he strode through the men, their confusion and disarray making her flinch as she curled closer to Rex’s plastoid covered chest. “You have command.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Rex, what the _fek_ -”

“You’re his second, Fives!”

Ahsoka buried her face in Rex’s shoulder as his legs moved swiftly, carrying her away from the mass of _men_. The words of the men's confused questions and inquiries rang in her head as she clung to him with desperate strength. 

 _Broken_ , one called her, quickly echoed by the others. _Damaged_ , said another and more agreed.

Rex's rapid stride took them out of the battle zone where he launched them up into one of the drop ships with a massive stride. "Hawk! Take us back to the _Resolute_. Now!"

There was a moment where nothing happened and then the ship took off with a jerk. Rex's hand on the strap above kept them from flying into the side, a fact she dimly registered, as she held him tightly, her feet somehow now on the ground. 

It was loud. 

Very loud. 

Louder than she remembered from the flight down. The rumble of the engines seemed to scream through her nerve endings and reverberate in the very fibers of her being.

"We'll be back on the _Resolute_ soon, Ahsoka," he told her gruffly, yanking off his helmet and hooking it to his belt before his arm came back around her. “Hang in there.”

"Rex-" she couldn't stop shaking, her teeth chattering as she tried to shake off the tears that burned her eyes and cheeks. The pit of cold that seemed to have engulf her as the men of Torrent Company had closed in, now threatened to drown her. The terror that had gripped her continued to hold her in its grasp, numbing in a way that made her tongue sluggish. "I thought I could-"

There was a jolt as the LAAT/i plowed through the atmospheric barrier and she cringed, feeling as if the jerk was the pilot’s way of punishing her for not being strong enough. Not being _good_ enough. Punishing her, in his own way, for abandoning the men on the moon below.

“Anakin thought.” Rex’s correction came from nowhere, lancing through her self-recriminations. “This was Anakin’s plan, trying to throw you back into the field so soon.”

“He…” she pulled back far enough to look up into his face, his stoic and stern expression familiar despite the anxiety in his gaze. “He can’t know about this Rex. He can’t-”

“I’ll have to tell him something.”

“I order you not to,” the words slipped out, more of a plea than an order, but an order all the same. “You can’t tell Anakin, Rex. He can’t-”

“He won’t hear it from me.”

Rex’s words were like a balm to her frazzled nerves, reassuring because it was more proof she could trust him, but terrifying all at the same time. Words wouldn’t form anymore as her throat closed, working as she tried to speak, only to have no sound emerge.

Rex seemed to see she was struggling and shook his head. “We’re almost there.”

The LAAT/i suddenly shifted atmosphere as the pressure inside it change, modulating for the ship itself, and the engines began to wind down. Ahsoka felt her knees threaten to give out as the landing struts hit the deck, nearly toppling her to the plating. Only Rex’s arm around her kept her upright. As the door began to open, his gaze clashed with hers and she stared at him mutely, her eyes wide.

He muttered a few words she didn’t catch, his tone harsh, as the side of the ship opened to allow them exit. Rex’s arms came around her again, sweeping her from her feet, but Ahsoka didn’t care as she wrapped one arm around his neck and used it to hide her face. 

Rex was _safety_ . 

Rex was _solace_. 

He would protect her; he’d _promised_.

His strides were swift as he dropped them out of the transport and carried her across the deck. Ahsoka could practically _feel_ the eyes of the men who would be there boring into her, judging her, and she cringed, still caught in the mire of memory overlapping reality.

Everything she felt, everything she saw was _real_ , but only _Rex_ was tangible.

It wasn’t until Rex stepped into the turbolift that the oppressive panic began to subside enough to loosen her tongue. Lifting her head, her eyes darted around to see they were alone. 

Rex was watching the floor indicator, his jaw locked. 

She swallowed, her voice coming out choked and ragged. "I’m sorry I’m broken."

"You're _not_ broken," his immediate response was vehement as he glared at her, his eyes blazing, "you just need more time. You weren't ready for this." Ahsoka shrank down under that look and Rex’s expression softened fractionally. “I’m not mad at you, Ahsoka. I’m mad _for_ you.”

Part of her didn’t believe him, but, as she loosened her grip, his tightened and the doors opened. Within moments, Rex was letting her feet down by her door and keying in the code. Her sanctuary opened and Rex ushered her inside.

Her legs seemed to take the entry as a cue to work again and, despite the weak feeling permeating her body, Ahsoka pulled free of Rex’s hold and stumbled to the bed, collapsing just before reaching it, her hands outstretched to prevent her from hitting the side.

Her eyes closed on the sting of fresh tears, this time of humiliation. _Go away, Rex_ , she wanted to say, but the words wouldn’t come. Shamed and embarrassed, the last thing she wanted right now was for him to see her like this. She was the Commander of the five hundred and first, practically a _member_ of Torrent Company, and she couldn’t command her company!

* * *

Rex turned after locking the door, concerned about Ahsoka and found her stretched out, her legs kilted at an awkward angle, on the end of her bed. She was still shaking as she had been in his grip, but Rex could see it was now more pronounced.

“Ahsoka?”

She shook her head, her back still to him, and while everything within him was screaming at him to help her, he suspected she wouldn’t appreciate it anymore. Out in the middle of the men, panicked and surrounded, he’s been an island of sanctuary.

Here, it was an entirely different story.

His mind played back the scene from the briefing, knowing there was going to be hell to pay. Covering for her would be difficult, but Rex swore he’d find a way. 

Ahsoka needed more time. Time to recover and adjust and work through whatever demons haunted her. Every clone faced a flash point like this, one where a single battle or experience, temporarily crippled them. The difference was that Ahsoka was a Jedi and the men he’d known who’d suffered mental breaks, as she just had, on the field, hadn’t returned.

He glanced at the door, debating if he should leave her alone, but the operation on the planet would already be underway and his men were in good hands. Fives and Coric would be able to coordinate and execute the attack without a problem. He was more concerned about leaving Ahsoka like this.

As he watched, she hauled herself, as if in pain, from the floor to her bed, rolling to curl on the surface and he’d begun moving towards her before he consciously checked the impulse. Unless she asked for his help while in her room, Rex wasn’t about to take away her control. Not now. Not after watching her lose it so thoroughly on the battle field. Here, at least, she could have a semblance of control. 

That didn’t stop him from speaking to her again. “Ahsoka?”

There was no answer to his inquiry and he moved just enough to be able to see her reflection in the viewport. What he saw wasn’t what he was expecting. Ahsoka’s expression was blank.  Completely blank. The traces of her tears were clearly visible, her eyes were open, but she wasn’t blinking, and there was no emotion visible on her features. It was as if someone had pressed a switch and the upheaval she was experience had been wiped clean.

For all she looked emotionless, Rex wasn’t fooled. Standing at ease, he watched her, knowing she could see him if she chose to. She shifted, curling in on herself and drawing her legs to her chest, but her expressionless visage never changed.

 _Processing_ , he realized. It was a kind of analytical method he’d never associated with Ahsoka before.

He stood in silence, watching her shift and adjust her position every now and again, as the chrono ticked down the minutes to the time of the attack. It came and it passed, the silence in the room finally being broken just about the time Rex suspected his men would be breaching the walls of the compound on the moon.

Ahsoka’s words, however, weren’t what he was expecting.

"Order them to stop, Rex." 

He stared at her reflection, unable to fully resolve the young woman he'd know with the broken creature on the bunk before him now. When she’d frozen during the battle briefing, he’d not thought twice about leaving the men to Coric and bringing her back here. He couldn’t, however, following her line of thinking. "Order them to stop what, Ahsoka?"

 "To stop gossiping and talking about me!"

 Oh.

  _That._

He hadn’t thought she’d been cognizant enough to hear and understand the chatter that had followed them as he’d carried her back to the LAAT/i and away to the _Resolute_ . "That's not exactly an order I can enforce."

“Yes you can,” she was trembling with an emotion he couldn’t identify. “You’re Rex. Captain of the five hundred and first’s Torrent Company. You can _make_ them listen!”

 “Ahsoka-”

 “If you’re not going to help me, then just leave,” she snapped, spinning on the bed to glare at him and gaining her feet all in one motion, one shaking hand pointing towards the door. “Just… just go! Go gossip with your men!”

 “ _My_ men?” He echoed her, surprised despite himself. “By your own admission, they’re as much my brothers as they are yours.”

 “I don’t want brothers!” Her voice cracked, the look in her eyes panicked as she started to move away a little, taking a step back, her heel hitting the side of her bunk. “I don’t want brothers, or m-masters or _men_ of any kind!”

It shouldn’t have hurt, even though he knew where it had come from, but it did. The encounter with Fives at the briefing had shown him a truth he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge and one he was going to have to destroy. Ahsoka had, somehow, taken his gender out of the equation - or found a way to ignore it. His question was quiet. “And me?”

She stared at him.

 “What of me, Ahsoka?”

 “You’re Rex.”

 “I’m a _man_ , Ahsoka. Much as you might want to avoid it, it’s there.”

 “You’re _Rex_ ,” she repeated, stressing his name.

“Yes. I am,” he advanced on her, pleased when she didn’t look inclined to retreat this time, somehow knowing it couldn’t go on like this. Rex cared about her too much to let it continue. If she kept disassociating him with his gender, he couldn’t help but believe that, one day, the shock of realizing it would only hurt her worse. He stopped before her, giving her plenty of room, but met her gaze squarely. “But I’m also a man. Look at me, Ahsoka. Look at me and see _me_. Not the safety net you’ve created around me in your head, but look _at_ me and see me for me. See the man who took you under his wing as a mentor and became your friend. The man who has done everything he could to protect you - and failed; the man who would do anything for you because he…” Rex paused and rephrased his thought, “because _I_ care for you deeply.”

Ahsoka’s breath caught in her throat, her voice small and shaking. “Then stop it.”

“I can’t be any less than I am, and neither can you.”

Staring at him for a long moment, tears glittered in her azure orbs of her eyes and caught on her lashes but didn’t fall. Not yet. It hurt him to know he’d hurt her, but he wasn’t going to pretend to be something he wasn’t; especially when breaking the fragile bubble now would, hopefully, save a greater pain later. The fact he had to hurt her at all, especially when she was already so wounded, made him feel ill.

“You don’t _know_ anything, Rex,” her voice trembled, smaller than before. “You-” she choked. “You just… can’t… _know_ how… how _hard_ it is…”

“Not in a physical sense,” he agreed, empathizing with her and wishing there was some way to explain… and an idea hit him. “Ahsoka, sit down.”

She sank onto the edge of her bunk, looking at him briefly before averting her gaze. “You can’t _know_ , Rex.”

"No physically,” he repeated, crouching before her to bring them to eye level and careful to leave her a way out, “but I do know what it is to have someone force themselves on you mentally."

"How could you _possibly_ -"

"Ventress, Ahsoka," her cut her off quietly. "On Teth."

She quieted, regarding him and Rex could see she was thinking about the fledgling years of their friendship. The one where she’d helped him come to terms with his own assault. When she seemed to waver a little, he seized his opportunity. "I can't help what sex I was engineered to be, just as you can't help the one you were born as. I won't lie to you, Ahsoka. I do care about you, a lot more than I probably should, but I will _never_ act on anything I feel unless you ask me to first. Do you understand?

"Rex...” her voice dropped to a broken whisper as she wrapped her arms around her own waist. “I can't ask you."

"I'm not saying you need to and I’m not asking you to.” His own voice was quiet and he offered her a half smile. “You just need to know where I stand."

"And the men?"

"I will speak with them, but the men gossip. I can't control that."

"They're gossiping about _me_ , Rex. About the fact I came back broken!"

"I'll do what I can, kid."

"Don't call me that!"

"Ahsoka," he amended quickly, cursing the reflex. When she got like this, sometimes it was just easier to put them back on that old footing. Easier, but not productive. “They saw what happened down there with their own eyes. They’ll have questions and they _deserve_ answers.”

“I’ll… I’ll tell them myself if you won’t,” her voice trembled and cracked. “I’ll make it an order for them too.”

“Putting an end to it without telling them what happened isn't going to be easy."

"Find a way," if her plea hadn't been laced with such desperation, she'd almost have sounded like her old self. "I need time. I can’t have them saying I’m… That I…”

“If we go into another action without explaining what happened-”

“I’ll be fine by then,” Rex wasn’t sure if she actually believed that or if she was saying it to get his cooperation. “I swear I will be. It won’t happen again. I just… make them stop, Rex. Make them stop talking about me."

He had nothing else he could add as she curled back up on her bunk, arms wrapped around her legs protectively. Seeing her this way was slowly killing him. He rose to his feet but she didn't look his way, her face turned towards the viewport, and even from the side he could see the glaze on her eyes of unshed tears.

"Call me if you need anything, Ahsoka."

A jerk of her head was his only response as Rex left her room to do as she'd asked.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**_Resolute - Post Ahsoka’s Captivity Day Seven_ **

“What the _fekking hell_ happened down there, Rex?” Fives jerked his bucket off, his expression nearly murderous as he fell into step beside Rex after his return from the surface. “If we’d been on the march, or in the middle of a battle, she could have gotten us all killed!”

Rex slanted Fives a look, already having transmitted the orders to Coric to make it clear Ahsoka’s behavior was to be kept within the Company for now. He knew he couldn’t keep it silent forever, and despite his misgivings, he was glad she’d ordered him to keep it that way. As her friend, despite his lower rank, he was glad he wouldn’t need to brief his General.

Ahsoka was adamant it was a one off; that she just needed time to adjust back to her life in the GAR. Rex, having seen her reactions, wasn’t so sure. She’d barely been able to handle the briefing, and that had been on a severely limited basis, with a few men and the familiar sight of Torrent Company in battle gear, surrounding her, had driven her into a mindless, fighting flight.

Removing her from the battlefield had been the only course of action available to him.

Coric, who deserved every promotion he’d ever been offered, and refused, had efficiently filed the report for the battle already but Rex still needed to put together this own. He’d been on his way to do so when Fives had found him.

“An episode, Fives.”

“Don’t give me that _osik_ ,” Fives wasn’t buying it. “I saw her in the briefing. She couldn’t wait to get away from us then either.”

“Let it go.”

“The hell I will!”

“Yes, you will,” Rex rounded on the younger clone. “She’s a soldier, the same as you and I, and it’s her turn to fight demons neither of us can see.” It was as far as Rex was willing to go to explain her situation; as far as he _could_ go without breaking her trust. “We _owe_ her the same courtesy and respect she’s given us in helping her through it.”

“She’s a liability on the field, Rex. She should _never_ have been down there.”

He wasn’t about to agree with Fives or blame his General. Rex could have made excuses for her, despite being under orders, but he suspected that would have caused more problems than those he already faced. He turned away from his brother and resumed his course towards his office.

Fives kept pace with him, his words suddenly subdued. “What demons?”

“I’m not at liberty to say.”

There was silence for a few steps before Fives spoke again. “When we found her on Hondo’s ship, she was in bad shape. Ahsoka’s been a prisoner before. Being imprisoned wouldn’t have been enough to cause the kind of a reaction I saw at that final briefing.”

Rex shook his head. “I’ve already said more than I should have, Fives. Unless Ahsoka tells you, I’m under orders not to say anything.”

“Under _orders_?” Fives was incredulous as they reached Rex’s office. “Orders, Rex? Just like you were under orders on Umbara and nearly had Jesse and I executed?”

“Umbara has _nothing_ to do with-”

“The hell is doesn’t,” Fives snapped, cutting him off. “I watched a previously unshakeable Commander fall apart and _panic_ on the front lines just minutes before moving out; an action that cost the company both of the highest ranking officers on the field. General Skywalker needs to know-”

“That’s enough, Fives!” Rex’s command was snapped and forceful and Fives snapped his mouth shut, his eyes blazing. “You don’t know _anything_ about this situation and the less you know the better. We’re under orders to prevent and mitigate the gossip. I expect you to help in that aspect, out of your respect for Ahsoka as both a Commander and a friend.”

“Yes, _sir_ ,” clipped and precise, Fives offered him a sharp salute despite the fact his look was withering. “Anything else, _sir_?”

“Dismissed.”

Another smart salute and Fives turned on his heel, striding away with such military precision that, if Rex hadn’t known he was furious, would have been left without doubts. Fives was a volatile piece of the mixture. He’d have to speak with him again later, once the ARC was less riled, and explain as much as he could.

First he had a report to file and then, when that was completed, he’d need to speak with Coric and Kix once they were free. Ahsoka’s melt down on the field was going to require careful handling, and not just of the men. With her being adamant it wouldn’t happen again, that she wouldn’t _let_ it happen again, Rex’s misgivings were strong.

He needed more information and the medics were the only ones with the access and the knowledge to help him.

* * *

“I’d rather give you something in writing, Rex, but we’re already garnering interest from an oversight committee,” Kix told him reluctantly. “We’ve gathered as much information as we can without having to explain why.”

“It’s a medical database.” Fighting to keep his frustration in check - it wasn’t Kix’s fault - Rex’s tone was still harsher than he’d intended. “How is that possible?”

“The subject matter,” Coric told him with a shake of his head as the trio stood around one of the terminals in the medbay. “It was glossed over in training for a reason. Showing such an interest in it is raising some flags.”

“And some concern,” Kix glanced around and lowered his voice a touch. “Two of the medical terminals have been locked out while I’ve been searching. Not just the database but the holonet access has been restricted, specifically to the topic.”

“Do they know it’s you?”

Kix shook his head. “I don’t think so. The terminals are public access on a medical personnel password. It could be any one who works in the med bay.”

 _Fekking hell._ If Kix and Coric couldn’t do the research, Rex would be on his own. Minus the information they’d already gleaned. That information was considerable, but Rex suspected it only scratched the surface of what they would need to know to help Ahsoka; if that was even possible.

“Where does that leave us?”

“Pushing forward on what we already know,” Coric and Kix shared a look before the younger medic continued Coric’s line of thought. “The key factor will be Ahsoka’s frame of mind. Everything we’ve found says she needs to be willing to talk about what happened before anything else.”

Which, Rex knew, wasn’t something she was ready for on a larger scale just yet; she’d opened up to him the night before when she’d come to his quarters, but he doubted that was all there was to her story. 

She’d been gone for a week and some parts of her explanation didn’t add up; the constant abuses had addled her something good and unless she was willing to completely open up to him, she’d never be able to move beyond it. If they were right, until she was willing to talk with him, with _someone_ , about what had happened to her without omissions, Ahsoka needed to be removed from rotation.

“Take her off the roster and place her on medical leave.”

“Sir?”

Rex rubbed his forehead with his thumb and forefinger, thinking quickly. “It’s the only way to keep her out of the field. Don’t specify as to why; hopefully it won’t be long enough to give a reason.” It wasn’t something they could do for long, but hopefully it would give Ahsoka a few days to calm down and the opportunity to open up further; to really begin the healing process.

“If it’s not, we’ll need to put something in there, Rex.”

“I know, Coric.” He was busy listing all of the reasons he could think of being taken out of a duty roster in his head and falling short, “but we need to keep her away from the men and off the front line until we can figure out how to handle this.”

“You mean until Ahsoka will talk to you about what happened again.” Kix wasn’t one to mince words.

After seeing her resistance to his presence earlier, now he wasn’t so sure and said so. “I’m not so sure she’ll talk to me again.”

“You’re the only one of us she’s opened up to at all, sir; the only one who can spend any time at all with her and not illicit some kind of violent reaction. It has to be you.”

Which left him exactly where he’d been before - but without access to the holonet database that were such a crucial part of understanding what he needed to do. Rex inwardly sighed and dropped his hand. “I’ll do what I can; I refuse to give up on her for a reaction that could have happened to any one of us.”

Both medics looked relieved. “I’m glad to hear that, sir; especially with your history.”

“Think of it as because of our history, Coric. She’s never abandoned me when I need her, I’m not about to be the one to abandon her.”

* * *

“You have a minute Rex?”

Rex looked up from writing his report to find Anakin standing in his doorway. “General?”

Anakin stepped inside and closed the door, alerting Rex that this was more than just a typical conversation. He saved his report and set it aside to give Anakin his full attention. Anakin leaned back against the portal and crossed his arms over his chest, a frown on his face.

Waiting in silence, Rex had a good idea what Anakin wanted to ask but wouldn’t broach the subject until he knew for certain. Ahsoka had been, and continued to be, a touchy topic since her rescue. The silence dragged on for several moments as Anakin seemed to be seeking the right words.

When the silence finally broke, Anakin’s words were more subdued than Rex expected. “Is there something you need to tell me, Rex?”

There were a lot of things Anakin needed to know that Rex didn’t have the words for, but in this instance, there was only one thing Rex could bring up. “Ahsoka had to retire from the field early, sir. As you know, she didn’t participate in the assault.”

“I wanted her back in the field; this was supposed to help her.”

“Sir - Anakin,” Rex changed his tone, losing the formal edge he’d been using. “She’s not ready to be out in the field yet.”

“That’s not your call to make, Rex.”

“She’s still healing from the injuries that she suffered during her captivity; that alone should have disqualified her from participating.”

“Injuries.” Anakin’s frown deepened. “Speaking of, I have yet to see a medic’s report on those. Any idea when I can expect one?”

 _When she finally allows Coric or Kix to examine her?_ Rex wasn’t about to put it into words or offer the small insight that he’d been treating Ahsoka himself. “You’d have to ask the Medics, sir.”

“I have.”

Which was news to Rex. “Sir?”

“They were less than forthcoming. Something about ongoing treatments and pending results from a variety of tests.” His frustration more than evident, Anakin shook his head. “I didn’t understand half of it.”

“I rarely do either, sir,” Rex empathized, “but if they say they’re still waiting before submitting an official report, that alone should tell you she’s not yet mission ready.”

“I need something to give the Council, Rex,” Anakin ran a hand through his hair, “something that will explain _why_ she’s not on the front lines.”

Rex wanted to say that Ahsoka’s capture by Hondo while defending the younglings, and her week’s incarceration, and the thus unknown extent of the abuse she’d suffered, should have been reason enough, but he held his tongue. Without breaking Ahsoka’s trust, simply stating it would open the door to questions he couldn’t - _wouldn’t_ \- answer.

“If you could just give me something to tell them, Rex,” it wasn’t an order - more of a plea - and Rex had to steel himself against it, “ _anything_. Even a description of how you found her-”

“No.”

“The feed from your helmet would-”

“There is no feed.”

“Then one of the other men-”

“Sir, the footage is gone,” Rex had ensured _all_ of it had been wiped clean the second he’d had a chance. Every last one of the reels had a static spot where _any_ of the footage inside Atai’s room had once been. “I can’t give it to you.”

Anakin stared at him, his expression closed, but Rex could see the anger simmering in his eyes. While he hadn’t admitted to erasing the footage, _all_ of it being missing was suspicious. Fortunately, Rex had considered the situation and he’d deleted the footage a certain way.

“What do you mean, _gone_ , Rex?”

“Exactly that, sir.” Rex exhaled softly; he hated to lie, but there was no alternative and Anakin wasn’t likely to suspect a lie from him. Still, it was a gamble; Jedi were notorious for being passive lie detectors and there was a chance Anakin wouldn’t take him at his word. “With everything affected, the most likely explanation is that there was jamming that prevented recording. There’s nothing to give you.”

“Nothing.”

Not about to repeat himself again, Rex nodded.

“And you won’t tell me what you found when you rescued her?”

“She was locked in a room, sir; we had to blow our way in.”

“And she had the injuries on her arms when you found her?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What else?”

There was precious little Rex could give him without breaking Ahsoka’s confidence, but he could divulge a few details. “She was… chained.”

A muscle in Anakin’s jaw twitched. “How so?”

“Around the ankle.”

“A tether?”

Rex nodded and shifted the focus of Anakin’s questions before he could take it further into territory he couldn’t talk about. “I don’t think I’ve asked sir, but did you find it difficult to use the Force on the smuggler’s ship?”

“Parts of it. It matched the intel.”

“You mentioned Force blocking prisons, are there ways to block a Jedi’s access to the Force over a larger area?”

“Not that I know of, but there are treatments and drugs that can dull and even suppress a Jedi’s ability. Or so I’ve been told. Why?”

“The Commander mentioned that she’d had the Force taken from her while she was imprisoned.”

Anakin considered that for a moment. “Meaning what exactly, Rex?”

"Your own observations pre-mission were that they were somehow blocking her access to the Force, sir. Based on the accounts I've heard from the both of you, the ship was laced with Force dead areas."

Anakin was silent for a moment or two before he opened his mouth to speak, his words soft; pained. "Did they... torture her, Rex?"

_Did rape count as torture?_

Rex's jaw clenched at the thought. _He'd_ certainly classify it as such. He'd seen a lot of atrocities too horrible to voice in his time as a soldier but nothing, _nothing_ , compared to what he'd found on the smuggler's ship.

"I can see I'm right by the look on your face." Anakin ran a hand through his hair and straightened. "I'll do what I can to give her more time, Rex, but without some kind of report from the Medics, it isn't going to be a lot."

"Every day we give her is another step closer to getting her back, sir." Rex firmly believed that. Ahsoka had been through too much, was too strong at her very core, to let something like this destroy her completely. He didn't believe for a moment she wouldn't come back stronger from this. Different perhaps, but stronger. She just needed _time_ \- the rarest of all commodities in war. "Every injury needs the time to heal lest we risk the chance of re-injury."

"You've been talking to the medics."

"They have some good advice, no matter how often we don't want to follow it."

"That they do." A deliberate flex of Anakin's left hand Rex no doubt as to what his General was thinking. "I'll do what I can to stall the Council but I need you to speak with Coric and Kix and get me something I can give them. Even a listing of her injuries would help."

 _No chance in hell._ "I'll ask, sir, but if the report isn’t ready, they may be reluctant to give out partial information which could be misconstrued if read in pieces."

"I don't want excuses, Captain," Anakin returned sharply, drawing Rex to his feet as the Jedi palmed open the door. "I want answers and I expect you to get them for me."

"Yes, sir."

Rex sank back to his seat as the General departed, gone even before his answer in the affirmative was finished. Anakin wanted answers. It wasn't surprising; if Rex had been in his position, he'd want answers too.

Giving a shake of his head, he turned back to his battlefield report. He needed to carefully word what had happened without blatantly lying and, despite Anakin's insistence, Rex knew he wasn't about to divulge the extent of Ahsoka's abuses. They were hers to talk about to whom she trusted whenever she was ready.

All he could do for her right now was to try and give her the time she needed to recover enough to get there. Time, it would turn out, that was in shorter supply than he'd ever imagined.

* * *

**_Resolute - Post Ahsoka’s Captivity Day Seven_ **

As he was entering the code to open Ahsoka’s door, Rex paused, his keen hearing catching the sound of what appeared to be a struggle. His fingers flew all the faster over the keypad before the door released and opened, and Rex was inside, blaster in hand and at the ready, before he gave it conscious thought.

A quick scan of the room showed the lights to be off, the star lines outside the viewport the only source of illumination, but he didn’t sense danger. The conflicting information being gathered by his senses coalesced into the thrashing figure on the bed. Closing the door behind him, he locked it without looking, his gaze taking in the darkness around the room, searching the corners around Ahsoka’s thrashing form for the threat… only to find nothing.

“No…” the pained moan was torn from Ahsoka’s throat, snapping his gaze back to her. “Not again - no! _Please_ ; no more!” It wasn’t a request, but a plea. Ahsoka was _begging_ someone to leave her alone.

Rex’s feet move before he could stop them, bringing him closer to her when a shrill, piercing shriek drew him up short.

There were no words to it, just the agony of the memory she was reliving. Her body bowed off the bed, her hands twisting this way and that as if pinned, her breath breaking from her lips in ragged gasps.

“Ahsoka.” Her name escaped his lips before he could stop it, agonized and indecisive, both feelings he’d become intimately familiar with since her capture. Torn between going to her and possibly making it worse, or waiting until the nightmare ended, the helplessness of his own situation made him feel awful. He wanted to help her, wanted to do something - _anything_ \- to ease her suffering and, at moments like these, he couldn’t. There was _nothing_ he could do but wait.

 _“Leave me alone!”_ The words were torn from her throat as she scrambled along the bed in her sleep, turning, her legs kicking out feebly to ward off her nightmare.

Rex moved to her side, reaching for her and then hesitating; would his touch only make it worse? “Ahsoka.” He called her name, crouching at the end of the bed near her head. “Ahsoka; wake up!”

“No; please no! I don’t want-”

“Ahsoka!” His hands reached out before he could stop them, grasping her shoulders and giving her a violent shake, unable to handle anymore of her pleas. “Ahsoka! _Wake up!_ ”

Her shriek as he shook her echoed through his bones, her hands coming up to claw at his, her nails digging painfully into his wrists around the edges of the gauntlets. Rex didn’t let her go. Instead he pitched his voice as an order and shook her again. “Wake up, Commander!”

Rex was suddenly thrown backwards as her hands changed their angle, slamming into his chest with the unexpected weight of the Force behind them. His hands, used to gripping his blasters in unexpected situations, reflexively to close more tightly around her shoulders and he unintentionally dragged her with him as he was tossed into the viewport.

The jarring must have woken her for she suddenly went impossibly stiff as he curled around her body to protect her from further injury, drawing her close to his chest as he did so. They landed in a haphazard heap, with Ahsoka struggling to the moment they landed to break free.

“Let me _go_!”

The cadence of her voice was different and Rex released her, sitting up with a soft groan as he did, his gaze flying immediately to her face. Ahsoka was scrambling backwards, her arms and legs akimbo, only to be stopped by the side of her bed a few feet away. She started at him, wide eyed, her chest heaving as she gulped in breath after breath of air.

Confusion was evident in her expression as her eyes darted to him, the bed, and around, her body visibly quaking as she fought the emotions rampaging through her. Rex gave her a silent count of ten before he spoke.

“Ahsoka.”

Her gaze flew back to his, still exhibiting signs of disbelief.

Did she think he wasn’t real? Rex straightened and shifted, putting his back to the wall when he saw her tense for flight, and held up both hands slowly as he found a more comfortable position. “I won’t hurt you.”

She swallowed hard and then, after another hesitation, found her voice. “… Rex?”

He nodded.

Ahsoka blinked, her throat working, and then spoke again, hesitant, her voice wavering. “Rex?”

“It’s me.”

Her shoulders sagged as she deflated against the bed, visibly coming down and out of the nightmare, tears shining on her lashes before her eyes closed and she let out a shuddering breath. Her arms wrapped around her legs as she buried her face in her knees.

Rex stayed where he was, waiting, his hands slowly lowering as he watched her carefully. Her shoulders moved with the motions of her breathing and a soft, gasping hiccuping sound reached his ears. It wasn’t crying but it wasn’t _not_ crying either, Rex realized as he watched her helplessly.

He could do nothing for her; nothing but wait for her to be ready to let him help her.

Frustrated even as he knew he couldn’t do anything, Rex’s fingers flexed repeatedly as he sought some kind of outlet for that frustration and anger while she couldn’t see him. Ahsoka was too caught up in her own struggle to notice his, but even so Rex would never have shown his frustration if he knew she was watching him. The very last thing he wanted to do was pressure her into anything, especially sharing more than she was ready to simply to try and ease the issues _he_ had with her struggle.

With no other recourse, and not willing to risk moving too far and scaring her again, he began counting in his head. He reached four and a half minutes before there was even a noticeable shift in her, a fraction of the tension leaving her shoulders but she didn’t raise her head.

“I’m sorry.”

Rex flinched as she spoke, glad she didn’t lift her head as she said it. “You were dreaming,” he told her evenly, trying to keep his tone as even and low, as reassuring, as possible. “I shouldn’t have touched you.”

“I…”

Her voice choked and stopped and her head shook back and forth in silent denial of something Rex couldn’t understand. He waited, seeing if she’d elaborate, but the silence stretched between them, turning into long minutes. Trained to settle in uncomfortable positions during long battles, it still hadn’t prepared him for the position he was currently in and Rex found his feet were starting to tingle.

Shifting to ease his weight around, Rex planted one hand one the ground, keeping his eyes on Ahsoka, and his movements deliberate. The last thing he wanted to do was active the flight instincts that her time on Hondo’s ship had activated. For a woman who had been such a fighter - so _brave_ \- before her incarceration, it was an almost painful transformation to see. Hopefully it wasn’t irreversible and somewhere inside her was the warrior he remembered.

Mostly, it was just wishful thinking and Rex knew it. He’d seen too many brothers battle damaged by events beyond their control and otherwise. Fives was a prime example. The ARC hadn’t been the same since Echo’s death and nothing would bring back who he’d been. There were glimpses of that man beneath the hardened soldier every now and again, but for the most part, Fives had completely withdrawn from all but a handful of men.

Rex was no expert, but he suspected Ahsoka’s trauma was worse than losing the brother who could finish your sentences and was more like you other half than kin. Ahsoka hadn’t just lost a piece of herself, but her very identity seemed to have been compromised by the horrors she’d suffered.

The glimmer of reassurance in this situation was that she seemed to take comfort in control - and hadn’t yet sent him away.

“It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling, Ahsoka.” The words were awkward on his tongue, the antithesis of all his training, and tripped off it with difficulty. He struggled to find whatever words he could to comfort and reassure her. As he opened his mouth again, her quiet, trembling voice kept him silent.

“Rex.”

He waited but she didn’t lift her head. He said nothing, his silence in of itself an answer; he would listen to anything she had to say. The silence stretched for long moments, but he held his tongue. If nothing else, he was quickly learning that she would say what she needed to say when she was ready to say it.

When she spoke next, it was through the comfort of her knees, without so much as a glance his way. “Can you leave?”

“I don’t think-”

“Please?”

There was an edge to her voice that spoke to something inside him, warning him that he’d best heed her in this. Slowly getting to his feet, he flinched when she tensed, glad in that moment she still wasn’t looking at him.

“If you need anything-”

“Just go.”

With one eye on her, Rex gave her as wide a berth as he could, feeling something tighten in his gut, knotting into a ball of anger and furious rage, as his partner and best friend shied from his presence. Swallowing it down, he left without a word, looking back to find her shoulders shaking but lacking the sound of crying.

He keyed open the door and exited, securing it behind him with the pass code. His feet carried him away from the door before he gave it much conscious thought, carrying him through the decks to a place he knew well and one he unconsciously needed.

With the battle over, it would be quiet and Rex was grateful; he didn’t need anyone questioning his need to work himself into exhaustion after the mental gymnastics of battle had been denied him. Not that dealing with Ahsoka wasn’t just as exhausting, but in her case he wasn’t left with that satisfied feeling of having accomplished something. 

Suddenly, that feeling was as important as breathing, and he was in the locker room stripping out of his armor before he mentally caught up with the thought of doing it. He changed into fatigues, leaving his shirt off, and headed straight towards the mat. He bypassed most of the machines, going to the punching bag in the corner and, without so much as wrapping his hands, began to slam fist after fist into it.

One after the other, his fists impacted the bag with dull thumps, solid blows that he could feel in his shoulders and chest. Or rather, would have if he’d been concentrating on his form at all.

As he found a rhythm, Ahsoka’s face, terrified and broken, rose unbidden in his mind and the abject fury that swept him pressed low down in his gut, exploding into a flurry of blows as he let out an animalistic cry of frustration. The sound of his fists hitting the bag came faster, turning into a staccato of sound only to then become one long sound of punishment.

His voice echoed off the walls as cry after cry of repressed and frustrated rage welled up and out, his desperation to help her and his helplessness, all being put into the bag. Sweat glistened on his skin, sweat dripping into his eyes, but still Rex didn’t stop. His arms ached, the side of the punching bag now spattered with blood, but he didn’t stop. He didn’t stop when his shoulders began to twinge; didn’t stop when the spatters became smears; didn’t stop until the image of the Zygerrian was bleeding, bloody and _dead_ \- the painful way he’d deserved - in his mind’s eye.

With a final shout, he slammed both hands into the bag and stopped. Chest heaving, droplets of sweat dripping off his nose, Rex paused to catch his breath.

How long he had stood there pummeling the bag, putting all of what he was feeling into it, he didn’t know. For someone who kept track of time in his head down to seconds, it was a frightening thought even as it was a liberating one. 

His arms and shoulders ached, his hands making their displeasure with his mistreatment of them known. Closing his eyes, he tilted his head to the bloodied side of the bag and forced himself to breathe, trying to let go of the gnawing feeling in his gut; the leftovers of the melting pot of emotions that had sent him to the room in the first place.

Ahsoka would need him now more than ever and he couldn’t let what had happened to her out of his mind. Somehow, someway, he vowed he would find a way to reach whatever was left of the spirited woman that had been lost to them when Hondo had captured her. Part of him knew he couldn’t help her with that until he conquered the demons within himself first, but the larger part didn’t care. She needed him and so he’d be beside her. Even if it killed him.

It was as simple as that. 


	11. Chapter 11

**_Resolute - Post Ahsoka’s Captivity Day Nine_ **

 “Captain?” Kix settled across from him in the mess hall, a mild note of alarm in his voice. “What happened to your hands?”

 Rex didn’t look up from where he was sliding a bandage between his fingers before wrapping it around his torn hands. Giving his head a shake, he concentrated on his task. “It’s nothing.”

 “Sir, it looks like you lost a fight against a pair of tinnies in hand to hand combat… or just beat them to a bloody pulp while breaking your hands.” Kix pushed his tray away and held out of his hand. “Let me see.”

 “It’s nothing, Kix.” Rex made no move to give the medic his hands as he finished interweaving the bandage and quickly wrapped it across his knuckles. “Drop it.”

 “Respectfully, sir, I can make it an order. The health of the men, including you, is a part of my mandate as a medic. If you’ve done something to damage your hands, hands that hold blasters on a regular basis, and might affect your ability to perform your duties either short or long term, I need to be advised to minimize that down time.”

 Rex looked up sharply and narrowed his gaze at the medic. “Shouldn’t you be researching how to _minimize_ Ahsoka’s downtime, then?”

 “Coric and I have found everything we’re going to, sir. Respectfully, even medics need to eat.”

 “Then eat and drop it.” As he tucked the ends of the bandage away, Rex collected his gauntlets from where he’d left them on the table, fitting them snugly over the bandages and hiding it completely.

"Will you at least tell me how you were injured, sir?”

“Training accident.” It was the common phrase for anything that didn’t need further explanation and, as the words slipped out, Rex realized Kix didn’t deserve his ire. He was simply trying to help where he could. “Ahsoka was... she was unresponsive last night when I went to see her.”

“She didn’t-” Kix’s gaze dropped to Rex’s hands, his brow furrowed as Rex moved to wrap his other hand in the same manner.

Rex glanced at the medic before looking down to his task. Kix was trying to figure out _how_ Ahsoka would have torn his hands to shreds. “No. I hit the training room and spent some time with the punching bag.” 

“Looks like it won.” 

“Depends on your definition of won,” Rex’s lips quirked into a half smile that quickly died. There were few things that could get him to smile and keep it these days. He suspected it would remain that way until Ahsoka started to show a glimmer of her old self and began to overcome her traumas. “It was as bloodied as I was.” 

“A joke, Rex?” Fives slid his tray onto the table next to Kix’s as the medic began to sip his caf. “I didn’t think you knew how to tell one of those. Nice hands. Kix.” 

“Fives.” 

Fives took a long pull on his caf and then proceeded to dig into his meal. “Since when do you have a sense of humor?” 

It was a jibe Rex let slide, his gaze narrowing on the ARC. Fives was cheerful, _too_ cheerful, and it was sending off warning bells. Sliding his hand into his second gauntlet, he considered how to respond to the question. While snapping the last of the closures into position, he was opening his mouth to refute the idea, when a loud, shrill voice drew his attention to the door. 

_"Are you just going to let them take me away?!"_  

Rex turned as Ahsoka screamed the accusation, drawing every eye in the mess hall. Which thankfully, were few. 

She stormed towards him, slamming both of her hands down on the table and keeping the attention of the other clones present, including Fives. "You're a liar, Rex!" Tears glittered in her eyes. "A _liar_! You promised not to let anyone hurt me!" 

The accusation slid off him like water, despite wanting to deny it. Confronting her would do the same it had previously - nothing. Conscious of the men around them, he kept his answer neutral. "I don’t lie." 

"You want me gone! If you're going to let them take me, you must!" 

"Who is taking you where, Ahsoka?" 

"Don't pretend like you don't know! You probably planned this just so you wouldn't have to make good on your promise." 

"Never!" Indignation was quickly swept away by alarm and Rex was half out of his seat and in her face before he thought of what it would do. He caught himself before he fully gained his feet, trying to ignore the fear that sprang to life in her eyes. " _Who_ is trying to take you away, Ahsoka?" 

"Ahsoka," Anakin's voice snapped from the doorway, drowning out Rex’s. "We're leaving. Now." 

"You always side with Anakin, Rex." She practically spat the accusation. "I should have known your loyalties have always been his first." 

"Ahsoka-" Rex cut himself off, hands and tongue tied by circumstance. If he denied it, Anakin would question him later. If he confirmed it, Ahsoka would likely never speak with him again. He looked from her to Anakin and back and pitched his voice low. "Ask me to come with you." 

"You're the one sending me away, Rex. Maybe you should have thought of that before you arranged it!" She spun, departing the room quickly, and she was at the door before Rex was on his feet. 

"Ahsoka!" 

"As you were, Rex." 

His gaze snapped to his General's. "Permission to go with her, sir." 

"I admire your loyalty, Captain,” Anakin’s response was laced with frustration and relief, "but she's been recalled to the Jedi Temple. The shuttle is here to take her back." 

"Recalled, sir?" Shocked, Rex couldn't help himself as he crossed the room, determined to go after the Padawan. "You can't be serious. The Temple isn't equi-" 

"The matter isn't open for debate, Rex." Anakin cut him off with a cautionary look. "The Council gave the order after you had to carry her out of the last battle before it started." 

Only his men had known that and he'd ordered them to leave the incident out of any official reporting. His own report had simply stated that she'd been forced to retire from the field early, not how or why. 

"Sir, I don't know who told you-" 

"I'd stop right there, Rex," Anakin's interruption was sharp. "Before you perjure yourself." 

Rex went rigid, his gaze darting past to where Ahsoka had disappeared, but Anakin wasn't finished. 

"Why I needed to hear about the incident from Fives and not you, makes me wonder as to your own battlefield preparedness after Ahsoka's rescue. I know she's not been herself. I know readjusting to regular duties this past week has been difficult for her. What I don't understand is why you didn't trust me enough to bring this to my attention. Ahsoka is my Padawan before she's your Commander, Captain. She's _my_ responsibility." 

Rex's gaze darted to the ARC before flitting back to Anakin's. "Commander Tano gave me an order, sir. You failed to request the information in a matter in which I could adhere to her orders and still meet yours." 

"I'm disappointed in you, Rex. I thought you'd learned the difference between when to follow orders and when they should be broken by now." 

"Respectfully, sir, Commander Tano isn't just your Padawan or my Commanding Officer, I consider her a friend." And every second he wasted now with Anakin was one she believed he'd sold her out. "I was trying to help her." 

"We'll talk about this when I get back." Anakin turned to go, "I have to speak with the pilot of the shuttle before we depart." 

"I'd like a word with her before she leaves, sir." 

"You've done enough, Captain." Anakin'e expression was uncompromising. "Fives?" 

"General?" 

"See to it I don't see the Captain on the flight deck." 

Rex clenched his fist, grinding his teeth together. 

"Yes, sir." 

Anakin's attention shifted back Rex's way. "As you were, Captain. We'll discuss your insubordination later." 

The clipped tone in Anakin's voice was nonnegotiable and Rex snapped to attention. "Yes, sir!" His salute was sharp before he turned on his heel and returned to his caf, shooting a dark look at Fives. 

Anakin hadn't been gone for more than a minute before Fives spoke. "You should be thanking me, Rex." 

"For what exactly?" His answer was harsh, his concern for Ahsoka warring with the knowledge it was now out of his hands. The possibility of ever seeing her again had just become astronomical. "Betraying my trust and that of the Commander's? For turning your back on a friend who needs you? What exactly should I be thanking you for, Fives?" 

“Giving you back your freedom, _vod_." Fives shifted into the position across from him without asking if Rex wanted his continued company with Kix now absent. "Ever since we took her from Hondo's ship, you've been tied to her day and night. You were forced to abandon our brothers in favor of Coric's leadership when she suffered a full meltdown yesterday. Ahsoka needs help. She's our Commander." Fives' eyes glinted darkly for all his voice was level. "If the Commander can't command and takes both herself and the next highest ranking officer out of the fight because of a panic attack, she's become a liability. As a Jedi, that liability is the Jedi's problem to solve, not yours." 

"That wasn't your decision to make." 

"It wasn't yours either, Rex. The moment you suspected she was incapable of command, you should have reported it and she should have been relieved of duty." 

"Anakin-" 

"Wasn't present." Fives frowned. "You were the ranking officer. You should have been in command." 

"Don't give me that _osik_ , Fives. You were more than qualified to take command and Coric has done so more than once. Removing myself from the battlefield did not affect the men." 

"Watching their Commander break, _did_ , Rex." Fives snapped. "The men needed their Captain and you abandoned them in favor of the Jedi!" 

"The men didn't need me as much as she did. You were there when we pulled her out of Hondo's ship. You saw what she was like!" 

"That was more than a week ago! She should have snapped out of it by now. That kind of weakness will only get men killed out here. If she couldn't cope by now and resume her duties, the she shouldn't be here!"  

If Fives only knew what Rex had seen... 

His fists clenched and re-clenched. "You've said your piece. I understand your reasoning and why you did what you did, but you're dead wrong. Torrent Company has operated without the Commander and I before on many an occasion. What happened to her was horrific, Fives. I couldn't have just left her at the marshaling point and continued on."

 "She's been clinging to you since that rescue when she should have turned to her Master. If you'd just tell me what was so _fekking_ horrible about her captivity-"

 "No."

 "I was _there_ , Rex. I deserve to know."

 "It’s not my secret to share."

 "Like _fekking_ hell it's not!" Fives slammed both hands down on the table as he got to his feet, drawing the attention of the others in the mess hall again. "This isn't just about you anymore. That breakdown affected all of us!"

 "Keep your _kriffing_ voice down," Rex growled back sharply.

 "At some point between her capture and now, you stopped putting your brothers first. I never thought I'd see the day where the welfare of one incompetent Jedi overrode your loyalty to us." 

Rex was on his feet, furious on Ahsoka's behalf, before consciously thinking about it. "She's far from incompetent. Ahsoka has proven that on more battlefields than most clones. You do her a disservice for even thinking it." 

"And you do us one for refusing to consider that the front lines are no place for a Jedi who can't handle it anymore. You're welcome for giving you back your command." 

Fives turned and stalked out, leaving Rex to watch him before turning his gaze to the curious stares of the remained of the men in the mess hall. "As you were," he told them sharply before resuming his seat. 

Ahsoka was gone. 

Rex was on his feet a heartbeat later, leaving the mess hall at a speed just short of a run. He'd barely exited the doors when an arm shot out in his path at chest level and he collided with it, sending him to the deck. 

"I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this, Rex." 

It was the last thing he heard before a fist collided with his temple once and then twice in quick succession, knocking him senseless. 

When he woke several minutes later, it was to find Kix kneeling beside him with an impassive look on his face, Fives speaking in low tones with Coric, and the certainty that he was too late. 

As if reading his mind, Kix shook his head. "She's gone sir." 

Rex let his head slip back to the deck plating, a sense of unexpected desolation sweeping him. Ahsoka was gone. Taken back to the temple where they wouldn't have a clue what had happened to her because there was no way she'd find the words to tell them. _Be strong, Ahsoka_ , he mentally thought towards her, even though he knew she wouldn't hear him. _And know that if you need anything, I_ will _be here for you._  

It was now completely out of his hands. 

* * *

Ahsoka locked herself in the only quarters on the ship as soon as she boarded the transport, practically vibrating from the confrontation with Rex. They were taking her away and Rex hadn't done anything to stop it. He hadn't kept his promise to keep her safe! A knock on the door had her heart jumping into her throat as she spun toward it, the _certainty_  that Hondo was behind it sudden and crippling as she quickly backed away. _Not again. Please, no!_  

"Ahsoka?" 

It wasn't Hondo's voice. 

The thought was swift. While it didn't completely alleviate the panic, it dialed it down by a couple of notches as she struggled to place it. It wasn't Rex or one of the men... And then she realized she knew that voice almost as well as she knew Rex's. 

Exhaling a shaky breath, she clutched her arms around her own middle and struggled with the knowledge that it wasn't Hondo, but it was another man. A man who wanted something from her. 

The knock came again. "Ahsoka.” A pause. “Open the door." 

A silent shake of her head denied the request but Anakin couldn't see it. Taking another step back, her heels hit the bunk behind her and she froze. 

"Ahsoka!" Anakin's voice had an edge to it that had her wrapping her arms that much more tightly about herself, terrified of what he'd do to get his way all the while knowing there was no chance he'd actually hurt her. There was a pause and then his voice changed, turning cajoling, a concerned note slipping into it. "Come on, Snips, open the door. I need to talk to you." 

Her nails dug into her elbows as her knees gave out, dropping her to the bunk. She slid off, along the edge, and to the floor as she closed her eyes against the imploring tone. Part of her wanted to talk to him, even if it was just to tell him to go away, but the bigger part of her, the one damaged by Hondo's attention, couldn't. 

"I know you can hear me, Snips." Another pause and then a sigh she couldn't miss. "Whatever happened to you out there, on Hondo's-" she shuddered at the mention of his name- "ship, I want you to know I'm on your side, okay? The Temple healers are going to help you get back to your old self." 

_They can't._   

The words stuck in her throat, wanting to be said even as her lips felt sealed with industrial strength adhesive. There was no going back to who she'd been, no returning to the Ahsoka everyone knew and wanted her to be. There was no way to become unbroken, undamaged, and the Jedi healers would be unable to help her. 

Anakin continued to speak, but she was lost to her own thoughts, pain rippling through her gut, her chest and heart. She'd opened up to Rex, who'd seen the aftermath of her trauma, and he'd sent her away. How was anyone else going to even begin to understand? How could she trust anyone else with what had happened when the person she'd trusted most had sent her away? 

Withdrawing into herself, Ahsoka curled her arms around her shins and drew her legs into her chest, tucked her face against her knees and silently waited for the next phase of her nightmare to be over. 

She stayed that way, locked in the cabin, unmoving, until the Twilight landed on Coruscant. 

* * *

**_Coruscant - Post Ahsoka’s Captivity Day Eleven_ **

"How is she?" 

The healer didn't even look up at Anakin's question as he stopper beside her on the hanger deck of the Jedi temple, continuing to write on her datapad. "We have not yet been able to speak with her to assess her properly, Master Skywalker. Padawan Tano has resisted all our efforts to draw her out of the transport's cabin." 

Which was news to Anakin. He'd been sure upon landing that Ahsoka had been removed immediately. That had been over a day ago. "Why didn't you contact me?" 

"Her refusal to speak with us, coupled with her ongoing isolation, is, in of itself, useful information. Whatever occurred to her has left her psychologically damaged. Forcing her to give up the safety of the room she has claimed may only cause more harm at this juncture." 

"What if she refuses to come out at all?" 

"Unfortunately, we will have to insist she entrusts her person to our care." 

"Shy of taking a lightsaber to the door-" 

"Nothing so militant, Master Skywalker," the healer chided calmly. "You are not the only resource we have that is versed in slicing or programming. Should we need to, we will remove her forcibly." 

"Without harming her?" After getting Five's report, Anakin had thought getting her to the Temple to be in her best interest. With her continued refusal to speak with anyone, let alone come out of the room, he was starting to wonder if he'd been wrong. Yes, Ahsoka appeared to need help beyond what they could give her on the front lines, and she’d taken his best officer out of the fight, but at least she'd come out of her room! 

_What in the nine hells had happened on Hondo's ship?_  

“When did this cycle of behavior begin?” 

“She was captured,” Anakin stated, still feeling awful about it. “A pirate attacked the ship she and some younglings were on and he decided that she was worth selling in place of the crystals she refused to hand over. She’s not been the same since she got back - not that I’ve seen much of her.” 

“I see. How did she escape the pirate?” 

“I led several clones onto the ship to rescue her.” 

“And you were there when they found her?” 

With a shake of his head, Anakin made a fist. “No. Captain Rex, ARC Fives and their squad were the ones to find her.” 

“Do you have their reports with you as to the condition she was in? A Medics report, perhaps?” 

“Not for lack of trying. The helmet feeds are unrecoverable and none of the men who were in the room will speak in detail of what they found.” 

“Anything at all would be helpful in understanding the depth of her psychological wounds, Master Skywalker.” 

“All I know is that the room was sealed and they had to blow their way in. They found Ahsoka had been tethered, by the ankle. I’ve heard it inferred she was tortured, but not the methods used or what instruments were around to facilitate it.” 

“I see.” The Medic seemed to be turning that over in her mind. “Anything else?” 

“Senator Amidala was on the ship with us; she helped treat Ahsoka’s initial wounds.” 

“We shall arrange to speak with the Senator.” 

Wracking his brain, Anakin suddenly snapped his fingers. “She had the Force taken away from her somehow, too. The ship was laced with Force dead areas. I’m not sure how.” 

“And yet she seems fully capable to use the Force now.” 

“The effects wore off when we were far enough away from the ship. Whatever it was, it was local.” 

“While not much, it is a starting point.” 

“I wish it was more, but I’m still waiting on a report from the Captain and the Medics. ARC Fives’ report isn’t much more detailed because he entered the room late.” 

“We would appreciate any information; every detail helps.” 

“I’ll make it available to you. Is there anything else I can do?” 

“Trust in the Force; it will guide both her and you to the correct path.” 

“Not to be insulting, Master Healer, but I think it will take more than the Force to get her over this.” 

“Perhaps. Whatever the cause for her withdrawal, rest assured, Master Skywalker, Padawan Tano is in good hands. We will give her the best care possible.” 

“I’m counting on that,” Anakin returned seriously. “Please keep me updated as to her progress.” 

“Of course, Master Skywalker,” the healer bowed as he left, “we’ll inform you the moment we have any word of progress.”

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who mentioned that I'd re-posted the last chapter by accident. Oops!  
> Here's the right chapter twelve.

**_Six weeks later_ **

 "Do you have a minute, sir?" 

Rex didn't look up from his paperwork at the voice in his open office door. "Have a seat, Kix, I'll just be a moment."

 The sound of the door closing had him glancing up to find both Kix and Coric in his office. He finished adding the last sentence to the mission report he'd been working on, still feeling odd about not including one of Ahsoka's more interesting maneuvers six weeks after her recall to Coruscant. Setting the datapad aside, he leaned back in his chair and examined the medics. "You have news." It wasn't a question.

 The medics shared a look before Coric seemed to react to an unspoken cue and take the lead. "Senator Amidala contacted me yesterday, sir."

 Rex's eyebrows rose. Whatever he'd been expecting, that certainly wasn't it. "Senator Amidala."

 "Yes sir. Apparently Ahsoka's recovery has been sliding backwards since she was taken back to Coruscant. The Senator asked for my professional advice on how to help her."

 To be clear, though Rex was certain he was following, he confirmed it. "On how to help Ahsoka."

 "Yes."

 "The Senator, a member of our Senate, asked a _clone_  medic for advice on a Jedi."

"Yes, sir."

That was news alright. "What's happened that the Jedi can't help her?"

 "Long story short, she's cut herself off from the Force. The Jedi healers were gracious enough to send a small report this morning," Coric proffered Rex the datapad, which Rex practically snatched and immediately began to read even before Coric finished speaking, "after I supplied them my recommendations."

 It was short.

  _"Padawan Tano shows no lasting physical effects of trauma and all of it appears to be mental. She has been unable to cope being in a room with anyone for an extended period of time and has dissolved into lashing out in various manners to escape. It is surmised that her captors were all male; she reacts the most violently around males. The extent of the trauma she was exposed to is still unknown as Padawan Tano will not speak of it with anyone._

_Today marks the thirty fifth rotation she has willingly cut herself off from the Force and has refused to see anyone, including her Master._

_The isolation has been marked with increasing levels of violence and a deterioration of any previous healing pattern coupled with a rise in self-destructive behavior. In the last seven rotations, she's been demanding something called 'Rex'-"_

 His gaze shot back to the medics. "Where is she now?"

 "Easy, sir," Coric admonished, seeming to know exactly what he’d just seen and motioning back to the datapad, "read the rest."

 A part of him rebelled at the direction - Ahsoka needed him! - but Rex turned his attention back to the report.

  _"- her only friend and the only one she claims can possibly understand. The Healer's College has had no choice but to engage Senator Amidala's help. The Senator has been unable to assist with further information that could aid Padawan Ahsoka Tano's recovery. With Padawan Tano's deterioration, The Senator believes she was in the wrong to have informed us of Padawan Tano's_ _prior physical trauma . The Senator recommended that Padawan Tano be sent back to the_ Resolute _as Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker's Padawan. The hope is that she will be able to avail herself of whatever aid Clone Captain CC-7567, the so named 'Rex', can provide._

_Speaking with the clone Medics who attended her initially, the recommendation has been brought to the council - and unanimously ratified._

  _Effective immediately, Padawan Ahsoka Tano is being reassigned back to the field as Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker's Padawan. If it is the will of the Force, Captain Rex, who we were told made significant headway with her in the aftermath of her capture and trauma, will be able to assist the young Jedi back on the path to normalcy."_

 Rex reread the message twice before looking to Coric and Kix again. "When?"

 "General Skywalker departed Coruscant with her several hours ago."

 Which meant that they were almost a day's travel from the _Resolute_ 's current location by his calculations. "Anything else?"

 "If you look at the next file, sir, it's the orders from the Jedi Council with regards to her care and what they've tried to do in an attempt to assist her."

 Rex did so and his eyes darkened. " _Di'kuts_! Replay the event? They don't _know_ the event! Are they-" he stopped himself, swallowing the bile that rose in his throat and was gratified to see the medics looks as ill at the prospect as he felt. His gaze scanned ahead. "Assist her by any means necessary." A moment later he was finished with the short set of orders and looked back to Coric and Kix. “They've made Ahsoka my primary responsibility with the instruction to report directly to General Skywalker on her care."

 "You can't do that, Rex," Coric's voice was softer than before but intense. "If the general finds out what she's been through-"

 "He'll lose it." Kix finished.

 "I am aware of Anakin's tendencies," Rex assured them. "It's the primary reason, even now, I refuse to tell him what I found when we rescued Ahsoka." The images had yet to fade and haunted _his_ dreams nightly, no doubt made all the move vivid without having her _there_ to help. Rex pushed to his feet. "If she's withdrawn from the Force and the healers can't help her, the General will also be at a loss. Ahsoka believes I was the one to send her away to begin with." Something he had come to terms with, even if he couldn't bring himself to forgive Fives just yet, he could understand what his brother had been trying to do, but Rex also hadn't a clue how to reverse the damage Fives had caused. When his transmissions to the Temple and requests to speak with her had been repeatedly denied, he hadn't thought to get the chance. "Suggestions on how to proceed?"

 "The same as you were before, Rex," Kix's tone was dry. "You read their report. Whatever you were doing was reaching her. Somehow, we have to get the two of you back onto that rapport."

 "That she was asking for you is a good sign," Coric added. "She wouldn't be asking for you if she still didn't trust you."

 "I hope you're both right." More than either of them knew. "Now that we know she's coming back, I'm going to need both of your help to handle her."

 "Sir..." Kix looked to Coric helplessly.

 "You know we'll do what we can to prepare and support you, Rex, but the one doing the work will be you."

 "This is beyond my experience, Coric."

 "It's way beyond anyone and always should be," countered Kix, "just... do what you were doing before they sent her back. Ahsoka seemed to respond to that."

 "You may have to start at the beginning again." Coric motioned to the datapad. "You see what they put her through. She might very well be worse off than when we initially found her."

 "I don't see how," Rex frowned. "But I'll take that into consideration. Who else knows about this?"

 "Most of the deck officers were present when the General's transmission to hold position until he arrives came through. He did say he was returning with the Commander." 

"The men will want to see her then," Rex considered how Ahsoka had last reacted to being surrounded by men, "I think a low key return is best. One at a time, ideally a spokesman."

 "We agree." 

Rex nodded thoughtfully. "What does everyone know about her return?" 

"Just that they are," Kix volunteered.

 "Is Fives still aboard?"

 "He shipped out yesterday." 

 Coric seemed as irritated with that as Rex himself. Having Fives around to explain that it had been his initiative, not Rex's, which had landed her back at the Temple would have gone a long way to smoothing things over. 

"Damn." Rex considered his options. "I think it's best if we continue to keep this as quiet as possible and tell the men only what they need to know. Ahsoka wouldn't have it any other way and we'll respect that. I'll meet the shuttle. Alone." 

"I'd like to be there sir."

 "And me," Kix added. 

"One of you." Rex compromised. "The other can see her later, when she's ready." 

"Kix then," Coric nodded to the other medic who looked at him in surprise. "You were there when Rex initially dealt with her and had the smarts to back away. You know what she was like then and should be able to give a better assessment of how close she is to that now." 

"Since we won't be pulling her naked and bloodied from that monster's room," Rex came back sharply, "I'm hopeful she won't be that far gone." 

There was a charged silence where the three men exchange grim looks of acknowledgement and reaffirmation; only they knew what had happened to her and it would _stay_ that way. 

Kix broke the heavy silence after a moment. "Since having our opinions solicited, we've been considering worst case scenarios." 

"What, no best case?" 

Both medic's smiled with Rex's wry question. 

"Best case,” Coric supplied, "is Ahsoka steps off that transport as the Commander we all know her to be and starts laughing and joking and teasing." 

"Which won't happen," Rex sighed. "Okay. What's worst case?" 

"She's been sedated for the trip and has to be taken to her quarters to be revived by you." 

That was what Rex was privately thinking as the most likely scenario considering the council's report. "And most likely?" 

The medics again exchanged looks. Kix answered him this time. "We were hoping you'd have an idea, sir." 

Oh, he did. 

Short of Ahsoka being sedated, he fully expected to find that she had barricaded herself in her room for the trip and need to talk her down and then out. Which would probably take hours they didn't have before the transport needed to leave again. Alternatively, he could see having to carry her off the damn thing if she was in a similar catatonic state to the one they'd found her in on Hondo's ship. 

"One or two," he allowed, "we'll plan for the most probable and deal with it as it comes. I'll need every bit of additional research the two of you have been able to find before the shuttle lands and any extra advice you can give." 

Coric motion Kix to the seat on the other side of Rex's desk. "Kix will fill you in, sir. With your permission, I'll go prep the men." 

"Granted." It was one less thing for him to worry about and he was grateful to Coric for stepping up. He really should promote the man; if only Coric would let him. Coric left with a nod of his head and a touch to Kix's shoulder before closing the door behind him. 

 Rex resumed his seat. "What have you learned?"

 Over the next several hours, Kix passed along more knowledge on the subject of rape and recovery than Rex knew existed. Much as it sickened him to think where the knowledge had been gained, he was grateful not to be going in as blind as before.

* * *

 Waiting alone on deck as the shuttle landed, Rex considered the last time he'd been with both commanding officers.

 Both had been mad at him for their own reasons and only Anakin had gotten to vent his frustrations. Ahsoka had simply accused and run, as had been the pattern since her rescue. Would it stay the same now? Or had the seventy rotations away done him a favor in the form of bettering her last opinion of him?

 As the repulsors wound down, Rex took another look around. The deck, as ordered, was empty except for Kix, standing by the exit to the main corridor. The deck boss and his crew were notably absent and the droids were even powered down. As the repulsors on the transport slid into near silence, the hatch extending and opening, the flight deck took on an almost eerie, surreal quiet.

 Anakin appeared at the top of the ramp, striding down quickly with only the barest of pauses as he visibly took note of the empty deck. Anakin had been gone a good deal of the time, to be on hand for Ahsoka, and looked a little worse for wear. Not surprising with the report Rex had receive on her. "Rex."

 "Sir." 

The Jedi looked at him and then around in surprise. "Is this your doing?" Anakin waved one hand around at the empty deck. 

"Yes, sir. I thought it prudent with most of the Resolute's population being clones." 

"You've received your orders from the Council then."

 It wasn't a question, but Rex answered anyway. "I have." 

"Would that I had another solution," Anakin told him bluntly, "but we're out of options. She talks to you, Rex, when she won't speak with anyone else. Why is that?" 

"I told you, sir," Rex's gaze darted back to the ramp where Ahsoka had yet to make an appearance. "Commander Tano, Ahsoka, is a friend before all else."

 "Is that a polite way of telling me I don't listen?" Anakin's attempt at humor fell flat and Rex was sure his expression said it when Anakin continued. "She's in the first cabin on the right when you go in, Rex. I was told to let you do whatever's necessary to get her back in fighting form. Just... keep me informed and let me know if there's anything I can do to help, okay?"

 If Rex needed more proof that Anakin still didn't know what had happened to Ahsoka, he'd just gotten it. Anakin’s concern was also noted; he was visibly frustrated and concerned about his Padawan and his own inability to do anything about it. "I'll do what I can, sir. For this to work, she has to come first." 

Anakin slapped one hand on Rex's should in a tight clasp he could feel even through his armor. "Whatever you have to do, Rex, just give me back my Padawan, okay?"

 The General barely waited for him to nod before walking away, leaving Rex to face the ship by himself. Anakin's request was a long shot; Rex already knew there wouldn't be a way of giving his General back the Padawan he'd known. He would, however, do everything he could to help her become strong enough to stand beside them and rejoin the fight. Kix joined him as the echo of Anakin's boots heels faded.

 "She's still on board."

 Rex nodded, his jaw set and suddenly nervous. Somehow, he couldn't help but think this would have been easier with the whole of Torrent Company at his back. 

"The shuttle has to refuel before leaving," Kix continued softly. "You don't have much time, sir."

 Forcing himself to move, Rex approached the lowered ramp and stepped up into the ship. Kix stayed at his back, a couple of feet away, offering him the needed support and push to move him forward. Silently, Rex appreciated his silent shadow; for all he _wanted_ to see Ahsoka, he was under no illusion that this was going to be easy. Reaching the cabin Anakin had specified, Rex lifted his hand to knock. A quick, business like rap and he dropped his hand, waiting uneasily for a response.  A minute passed, then two before Rex knocked again, more insistently. 

"Go _away_ , Anakin!" Ahsoka's voice was shrill and nearly unrecognizable. _"Leave me alone!"_

 "Ahsoka," Rex raised and projected his voice. "Ahsoka. It's Rex."

 A heartbeat of silence followed before her voice came back, this time uncertain and wavering. "Rex?" 

His throat closed at how small she sounded. Lost. Not unlike when he'd found her on Hondo's ship. "It's me, Ahsoka," he confirmed gruffly. "I'm here." 

"You can't be," she sounded tearful now, almost angry, and he could barely hear her through the portal. "Rex sent me away. He didn't want me around now that I'm _broken_." 

Which couldn't have been further from the truth. "I didn't tell Anakin anything, Ahsoka." He didn't honestly think she'd believe him, but he had to try. "I kept my promise." 

_"You made me leave!"_

 "Fives told Anakin. Not me." Vehemence crept into his voice as he struggled to stay calm, not at all guilty for offering up his _vod_ as a sacrifice. Being so close and yet so far, unable to see her, was testing his patience. He disliked the distance between them and the obstacle of the door only made it worse. "I ordered the men not to say anything. I ordered them to leave you to me!"

 There was silence for a moment before the sound of the lock disengaging was audible, the door sliding open to a pitch black room, The only visible part of Ahsoka was the luminescence of her eyes. 

 "Rex."

 He stared at her eyes, unable to see the rest of her. "Ahsoka."

 "Rex."

 The second repetition of his name was unexpected and his response slipped out before he could stop it. "I told you to ask me to go with you." 

A choked sound came from behind him, reminding him that Kix was there, but it was the slight half sob-laugh from the young woman in front of him that held his attention. She moved towards him a half step and stopped. "You did." 

"You're home now, Ahsoka," he offered, stretching out one hand towards her and still unable to see her clearly. "I won't let anything happen to you."

 "You promised me that before," her tone was still ragged, "and they took me away!" 

"This time I have the blessing of the council," he countered. "This time, it's not just my job, but my privilege too."

 "Your..." She stepped away; he could hear it, see it in the way her luminescent eyes suddenly seemed to be dimmer. "I don't want to be your _job_ , Rex." 

He'd said something wrong and could practically feel her withdrawing as she put distance between them again. That she was talking to him at all was a good sign and not something he wanted to loose. "My job, yes, but you're my friend first, for all you’re my Commander and a Jedi." Rex struggled to keep the frustration out of his even tone as he chose his words deliberately. "According to Anakin, the Jedi Council and the Senator, I've been assigned to you as a way to help you heal."

 There was a pause as she seemed to absorb that statement before her soft voice came back, following his line of thought and asking the question he'd hoped to prompt. "And according to you?"

 "I'd have defied any order to leave you alone, Ahsoka." Conscious of the fact Kix was listening, but uncaring he was walking a dangerous line that could have been viewed as fraternization, Rex forged ahead. The _only_ thing that matter in that moment was her. "Whether you want my help or not, I will always do what's necessary to help you. Being assigned to do what I had already intended just means I don't have to defy orders to accomplish my goals." 

"Your goals?"

 "To see you more like your old self, eventually." 

"I'm broken, Rex," her voice was quiet and tearful, but closer this time. "I'll never be _me_ again." 

"You don't know that," he stepped forward, into the darkened room, hand still outstretched. "You _can't_ know that." 

"Everyone says it. Everyone thinks it. I can't-"

 "Like _fekking_ hell you can't," he snapped. "Everyone is _wrong_. You didn't let your brush with the Son and the darkside destroy you. I can't believe, I _won't_ believe, this will either!" 

"Then you're the only one." 

"The seven hells I am," his denial was fierce, "if I was, you'd still be back at the Temple!"

 She had no answer to his vehement response and he might not have been able to see her, but he could almost feel her wavering. Ahsoka might not be able to refute him, but she didn’t fully believe him either. As frustrating as that was, Rex couldn’t blame her. Fives had reported the events which had gotten her sent away, but she’d always believed _he_ had done it and betrayed her. If she could believe he would betray her, why would she believe him now? 

“I know you can never going back to being who you were, Ahsoka, but I believe you can become someone stronger because of this.” Rex exhaled a long, slow breath, tempering his tone. “You’re back now because they can’t help you. You’re here because everyone wants to help you achieve your goals.” 

“But why send me here?” 

“Didn’t you _ask_ for me?” he pitched a teasing note into his voice. Or rather, tried to. It came out more of a gruff, gravely question and he dropped the idea swiftly. He didn’t feel like joking and she couldn’t have seemed further from being able to take one if she’d tried. “You asked for me, Ahsoka.  The prevailing opinion seems to be that I can help you.” 

“Can you?”

 “I don’t know.” He was bluntly honest, unwilling and unable to lie to her. “I’d like to think we accomplished _something_ before they took you away.” 

“Rex... I…” 

“You just have to try.”

 “I can’t-” 

“You _can_.”

 “You can’t know that.”

 “You’re wrong.” 

“How can you be so sure? How can _you_ know, when _I_ know I’ll fail?”

 “Because you won’t be alone, Ahsoka. I know you’re afraid to try.” He curled his fingers and then stretched them out again towards her. “I’m scared to try too.”

 “Why?”

 “I don’t want to fail _you_ again.”

 “This isn’t your problem, Rex.”

 “You’re right.” 

“Wha-” 

“You’re not a problem, Ahsoka.” He stared straight the shadowy form and into her luminescent eyes, “You’re my friend. I want to try and help you - if you’ll let me.” 

The silence was heavy in the wake of his request and Rex, for a moment, thought he might have overdone it. Maybe pressed too far or too fast? Asked for too much? It wasn’t until the luminescence of her eyes disappeared, followed by the feel of her thin, smooth fingers sliding into his hand, that he truly breathed again. Her hand shook in his grasp, but her grip was strong, curling about his with an almost desperate strength. 

Slowly, so not to spook her, he curled his hand around hers and took a step back, drawing her towards the door. Locking his wrist, fingers matching hers, Rex pulled in a slow, methodical manner to draw her closer to him. To his relief, she didn’t fight his grip or the motion. He drew her from the room like that; one hand in his, a single step at a time, murmuring encouragement when she seemed to hesitate. Her eyes opened, meeting his again, focusing on his, as he drew her towards the exit. 

One and then two steps followed the first until Rex was in the thresh hold and could finally see her again. Pausing, he took her in, keeping his face determinedly stoic as he cataloged the changes in her and made sure he didn’t pause his soft stream of encouragement. Dark circles under her eyes; hollowed cheeks and eyes that seemed to have sunk into bruised eye sockets. Her montrals seemed over-sized for her head, but held an unhealthy tint of grey he’d never before seen. She was thin, _too_ thin, something he should have grasped from the feel of her hand in his; he'd simply been too relieved that she'd taken his hand at all. As he moved to step back, he shifted his voice but kept his tone as soothingly gruff as he could. “Kix is here, on behalf of the men, to welcome you home, Commander.” Her fingers tensed in his and Rex tightened his grip, feeling strength there despite her gaunt appearance. If he was reading her right, she wanted to flee. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Don’t leave me again.”

 “I won’t.” Stepping back, Rex drew her into the hall, his heart having clenched at the small note in her voice. “All of Torrent Company wanted to be here to welcome you home. We thought one man would be easier for you than one hundred and forty two.” 

She swallowed hard, visibly so, her grip on his tightened into one that threatened to bend the plastoid shell around his gauntlets. Opening her mouth a couple of times, but no sound emerging, Ahsoka was reluctantly drawn into the hallway and Kix’s line of sight. 

Rex turned towards the Medic, Ahsoka’s hand still in his. “Kix.” 

Ahsoka’s gaze slid to the medic and Rex felt the flash of panic that rose in her gaze as if it was his own. 

Kix, to his credit, simply saluted and then inclined his upper body to the Jedi Padawan in a show of deep respect. “On behalf of the men, Commander," his voice was pitched low, with all the admiration only a clone felt for their Jedi, "welcome home.” 

This time, when her mouth worked, the faintest of sounds emerged. “Thank you.” 

“Take your time with her, sir," Kix told him as he turned his attention Rex’s way. “I’ll go make sure the path is clear.” 

With that warning, Kix disappeared, leaving he and Ahsoka alone. Rex kept his gaze on her face as she exhaled a shaky breath. She said nothing, but he could feel her apprehension, so he broke the silence. “They don’t want anything from you, Ahsoka.” 

“Everyone wants something from me.”

 “The only thing the men want is for you to work on getting back to being command capable as soon as you’re able.” The pitch of his voice was low, still gruff, but as soothing as he could make it. “Nothing else.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Positive.” He drew her with him as he stepped towards the ramp, still speaking. “Are you able to walk out of here under your own power today, or shall we keep with tradition and I carry you?” 

There was no response to his weak attempt at humor, but then Rex really hadn’t expected one. They’d work on that, together. Humor would come with time, he was sure, just as her smiles and laughter would eventually return. Both things he desperately missed, but ones he wasn’t about to try and pressure her to give. When she was comfortable enough to smile and laugh again, he would take it for the gift it was. Until then, he would simply continue trying. If he did nothing else, Rex would  _always_ keep trying.

Ahsoka followed him out of the ship, down onto the deserted deck and out into the hangar bay that was eerily silent. She looked away from him then and Rex took that as a good sign. There was a faint glimmer of curiosity in the depths of her gaze, but it was shadowed and nearly smothered with apprehension.

 “There’s no one else here, Ahsoka.” 

“Why?” 

It wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. “Why, what?” 

“Why isn’t there anyone here, Rex? It’s the hangar bay; it should be busy.” 

“I thought you’d prefer fewer people around.” 

“And the droids?”

 “They need supervision. Once we’re off the deck, I’ll signal they can resume operation.” 

“It feels wrong to have it so silent.” Looking around again, Ahsoka suddenly shuddered. “Get me out of here, Rex; please?” 

Rex made to release her hand but Ahsoka clung to him despite the fact they were alone, wrapping her free hand around the one she already held prisoner. Rex drew her to his side, looking down into her face and offered her the faintest of smiles as he headed for the door that would lead them to the turbo lift. “Your quarters are as you left them.”

 “Oh?”

 She seemed uninterested as she stepped closer, almost stepping on his feet, as they neared the exit.

 “General Skywalker insisted you wouldn’t be gone for long and refused to change them.”

 “Was it A-Anakin who sent me my things at the temple?”

 Rex paused, drawing her to a stop. “Did you have things to bring back to your quarters?” he hadn’t even considered it in his effort to draw her out. 

“Nothing important.”

 Lifting his free hand, Rex tried to regain the use of his captured one, only to find Ahsoka was reluctant to relinquish it. Instead, he offered it to her. “Can you press the comm. Ahsoka?”

 “Why?”

 “I’ll have Kix collect your things before the shuttle leaves.”

 She did as he asked. Rex lifted his comm. to his lips. “Kix.” 

_“Is the Commander alright, sir?”_

 “She brought a few things from Coruscant-” 

 _"Acknowledged."_ Kix cut in, grasping the situation before he could say anything more. _“I’ll be right there, sir. They’ll be waiting in your quarters when you’re done with the Commander.”_

 His comlink shut off automatically as Kix killed the transmission and Rex glanced down at Ahsoka, noting she seemed paler than her normal healthy sienna. A paleness that had little to do with her gaunt appearance and more, he suspected, with the prospect of facing Kix again. Not that she would; the medic clearly understood the necessity to give her the space she needed.

 “Come on.” He began moving again, determined to get her back to her quarters before she needed to face anyone else. 

Ahsoka, seeming to understand what he was doing and why, almost pushed him along. 

Kix had done as promised and their path was clear, their booted steps echoing on the deck plates. Before long, they were through the halls and outside her quarters, Ahsoka assisting him once again in activating his comm. to give the all clear to the crew waiting to get back to work.  

Working the lock, Rex palmed open the door and made to usher Ahsoka inside. Unexpectedly, she hung back, going so far as to let the arm she held stretch out so Rex was looking at her with concern over his shoulder. “Ahsoka?” 

She didn't relinquished her hold as she bit her lip, glancing around and then back to him, as if searching for the right words. "Has..." There was a touch of fear in her eyes but Rex wasn't really all that surprised. This room had been her sanctuary after her assault and she hadn't seen it in more than seventy rotations. He gave her time and she spoke again. "Has anyone been inside except Anakin?" 

"No." Anakin hadn't wanted anyone, even Rex, to enter the space after she'd been sent away and had deliberately broken the security code before resetting it with his own. "Unless you count the cleaning bots."

 "Can he still get in?" 

 Ah. That was what she feared. "I have the instructions on how to wipe the memory code for the security door and start from the default. The only people who will have the code are those you want to have it." 

"Then how will Kix-?"

 "Both he and Coric have agreed that we'll keep the men away from you and your quarters until you want to see them. Kix will bring your things, or anything else you need, to my room. I will bring them to you." 

That seemed to put her at ease a little and she exhaled a shaky breath, finally following him in. Rex flipped the light on to better see what he was doing and then turned back to her. Ahsoka still gripped his hand but her free one had wrapped itself around her waist, giving her an almost comically vulnerable look; not that there was anything comical about the situation.

 He released his grip on her and her arm immediately folded across her middle as she took in the room.

 Little had changed since shed last been on board. Anakin had made certain of that. As a result, Rex felt like she'd never left; a good and a bad thing. The Ahsoka the room had belonged to had disappeared during Hondo's attack on the youngling's ship and never returned; the young woman beside him had her physical form, but Rex well knew she was no longer the same. 

 "Would you rather we had changed it?" he was uncertain of her reaction, keeping one eye on her as he stayed just inside, leaving her the doorway to escape if she so chose. "I could-"

 "Can I go to your quarters?"

 "Kix will be there."

 "After he's gone?"

 Rex blinked, not understanding where the request came from. "I don't think having you in my quarters would be a good idea, Ahsoka." 

She looked away, scanning the room warily, her question soft, her voice shaking. "You don't want me there?"

 "I don't-."

 "If you don't want me there, why didn't you just say no to helping me?" She cut him off, her sudden anger catching him by surprise and he took a step back as she rounded on him. Her hands were clenched at her sides, eyes flashing, but full of tears and fear. "You should have just let me stay at the Temple! I thought you were going to _help_ me, Rex!" 

He held his tongue. Ahsoka was _never_ angry with him and this was a new side to her that he'd never seen before. That she'd misinterpreted his response wasn't completely unexpected. Kix and Coric had warned him that anything could have happened upon her return. After the way she'd left, anger was expected - except she was a Jedi and Jedi didn't _use_ anger _._  Only in that moment did he belatedly remember that she might have been trained as a Jedi, but she had cut herself off from the Force.

Keeping that in mind, he responded to her anger the same way he did with his brothers; he didn't respond to it. "If you'll let me." 

"I can't stay in this room," she shuddered, eyes darting around, going to the 'fresher and then away, back to the bed and then to the door as she backed towards it. "I can't-" 

"My quarters." Rex cut her off, taking a slow step towards her. "Ahsoka."

 "I can see-"

 "Ahsoka."

 Her gaze shot to his, the anger gone, confusion in its place. "Rex?" 

"I'm here." He confirmed his presence for her, his gut in knots, a heavy weight upon his chest. She looked like a lost youngling, something he'd never really seen even in her first days as Skywalker's Padawan. Back then, she'd been all overconfidence and brashness. He'd have given anything for a glimpse of the old Ahsoka in that moment. "My quarters are near the men's barracks. I can't guarantee you won't see anyone if I take you there." 

Her mouth worked and he could almost see her gauging the risks only to shudder and wrap her arms about herself again, her shoulders hunching, and Rex took a half step towards her as she stumbled, only barely stopping the instinct to reach for her as she touched the wall and slid down it. "I _can't_."

 Rex took a knee before her, his clenched fist holding his weight as he leaned forward, placing it on the ground before him and deliberately kept the other loose. "Ahsoka?" 

Her head came up slowly and there was confusion and disorientation in her gaze, coupled with disbelief. "Rex?" 

He wondered how long it would be until she accepted that he was beside her again. "I'm here." 

"Will you stay with me?" 

There wasn't an ounce of hesitation. "Yes. As long as you need me to." Watching her staring at him, Rex wondered what she was thinking. "But I will have to go get your things from my quarters." _Not to mention,_ he added mentally, doing the logistics, _a few of my own._  

He hadn't considered that Ahsoka might want him nearby all the time and, as a result, hadn't prepared for it. It was going to raise some questions from the other companies within the five hundred and first, but for now he couldn't worry about that. The General would need to manage the situation and make some kind of announcement now that his orders had come through from the Temple. His priority was making Ahsoka feel safe and if having him bunk on her floor until she was comfortable being alone was what made her feel safe, then that was what he would do. 

Making to stand, he was surprised when her hand shot out, clenching around his forearm without enough force to make the plastoid creek. "Don't go." 

Not entirely sure how to respond, Rex hesitated. "The sooner I collect your things, the sooner I'll be back."

 "Not yet," There was a desperate edge to her voice that Rex hoped would be a passing thing. "I can't be alone again. Please?" 

He eased back into his kneeling position, but Ahsoka didn't relinquish her tight grip on his forearm. If he'd not been wearing his armor, Rex suspected he'd have been sporting the imprint of her hand in a few hours. "Would you prefer other quarters?" 

Her eyes widened and then, indecisively, darted around the room again. A direct conflict to her adamant refusal to stay moments earlier. "No... yes. I... maybe? I mean, this is my room, right?" She was giving him whiplash with her lightning changes and Rex wasn't sure if he could keep up. 

Instead of replying verbally, he nodded. Once. 

"My quarters." It seemed to be enough and for the first time since her return, her shoulders unbent. Not much, but just enough as she let out a soft sigh.  "No one else can get in here, right?"

 "No one but me."

 “You're sure?"

"Once we reprogram the lock."

She shuddered, her fingers flexing on his arm again, her eyes wide with fear.

"Ahsoka."

The flinch when he said her name was as hard to watch as most of her other reactions had been; harder in some ways. "Rex?"

"Do you want to help me change the code?"

There was a long moment when she blinked several times. "Change the code to what?

"The code to your room. To keep everyone, except us, out."

"Keep..." her eyes suddenly rolled back in her head and she went limp, her hand sliding off his arm. 

If Rex hadn't been watching her closely, she would have slumped to the floor. His arm, now free, shot out and kept her upright. With a shake of his head, his chest feeling like it wasn't big enough to hold his lungs, he gently lifted her in his arms and carried her to her bed. She was a dead weight, but a light one, and he knew his first task when she came to would be getting her to eat.

How he was going to accomplish anything, he didn't yet know.

This Ahsoka was different from the one who'd left him all those cycles ago and, somehow, he needed to find an effective way to reach her.

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

_Return to the Resolute Day 01_

 Ahsoka didn't wake from her faint for long enough that Rex contacted Kix and asked his opinion on her exhaustion - which is what he guessed what took her from faint to sleep without so much as a blink of her eyelids. She was resting now, but Rex wasn't certain he could leave her. The way she'd been so far was concerning and he knew it wasn't going to be the worst of it. 

 Kix was helpful, as much as he could be without actually being there in person. He offered advice and suggestion, sometimes in direct contradiction with what he'd just said, but he meant well. All of them were in unfamiliar territory so Rex followed what he felt would work best for Ahsoka. He based it on their long history and what had happened after her rescue from Hondo's ship; maybe not the wisest route, but it was all he had to go on.

 First things first, he changed the code to her door to something new. It was the single thing she seemed to be worried about most and Rex didn't want her to worry about anything. At least, not anything that he could fix easily. He still had to figure out what to do about her fear of the men, and how to get her back on the battlefield. 

 One thing at a time. 

 Now that the code was changed, he had to figure out how to get his kit from his quarters to hers with the minimal amount of questions. Kix would certainly bring it, along with her things, if he asked. Maybe they could conceal his things within hers? Rex wasn;t sure, but he considered what he'd need while staying with her. He coould, with all feasability, sleep on the floor. It wouldn't be the first or the last time spending his nights on a hard surface.

 Still, not knowing how long he would need to stay gave him pause. She'd asked him not to leave, so he wouldn't; not when she was newly returned and almost desperate in wanting, and willing, to trust him.

 Rex considered her from his vantage point by the door, taking in the changes in her appearance even as he considered his situation. Processing the changes in her, Rex realized that his first order of business should be feeding her. Just looking at her, all angles and planes, a shadow of the young woman who'd left six weeks ago made his blood burn.

  _What the kriff had happened at the Temple?_  

Kix and Coric probably knew; they'd shared with him some of the techniques that the healers had tried, including hypnosis and an attempt to Force her to reveal what had occurred under a suggestion. One she'd violently resisted. Ahsoka, from what little Rex knew, had been submitted to more methods of persuasion than he'd been aware possible - and she'd resisted every single one of them. 

 The temple had sent her back to him because she'd refused to speak with anyone, refused their help and adamantly rejected their methods.

 It gave him hope.

 If Ahsoka, after everything she'd been through, was able to resist _Jedi_ so determinedly, the fighter he knew and respected was in there somewhere. Changed perhaps - nothing he'd seen so far upon her return led him to believe this would be easy - but still there and buried.

 Turning his gaze from the sleeping Ahsoka, Rex took a look at her room with critical eyes. 

 While this had been her sanctuary after Atai's attack, he also knew it held difficult memories for her. He couldn't explain it, but in watching her the last time, he'd known there was more to what she'd already told him. More that she hadn't yet shared. Rex was both dreading the reveal and impatient for it. He'd been through his own nightmares and talking about them had always been the first step to accepting, healing and moving beyond them; talking with _Ahsoka_ mostly. He'd also leared, though, that you couldn't force someone to share what they weren't ready to.

 His gaze fell on the 'fresher, the sight of her last panic attack he'd been a witness to in this room.

 Glancing at her to make sure she was still sleeping, he moved slowly, with a quiet step, to the door and checked the interior. The light came on as he did so, casting a glow back into the room. Thankfully, away from the sleeping Padawan. 

 The 'fresher was very much like the ones he and his men shared, except it was more... solemn. The colors weren't standard GAR grey, but covered in splashes of crimson and blue, with a haphazardly placed sheet pinned to one wall. Stepping towards it, Rex lifted the corner - and breathed in sharply. Torrent company's symbol was painted across the wall, the Jedi symbol intertwined around the diamond pattern. Ahsoka had spent a lot of time converting this room to her own and it was clear just how much she valued he and his brothers in the detail that had gone into the memorial; all around the amalgamated symbol was the names of his brothers, listed in neat order, with dates and locations next to those they'd already lost. He smiled faintly, his throat closing, as his gaze slid across name after name.

  _So many._

 So many lost and dead; Echo, Hardcase, Waxer, Boil - those not of Torrent company given a special place to the side of the symbol, a testament to just how many of them Ahsoka had befriended.

 And a reminder of how many of them were eagerly awaiting her return. Touched as he was, Rex did't know if the reminder right now was a good thing; Ahsoka had obviously covered it for a reason. Torn between wanting to do what he thought was right, and what he felt was right, Rex wrestled with himself for several minutes before simply placing the sheet back where he'd found it and closing the 'fresher door to plunge the room back into darkness.

 Whatever he decided, he wasn't about to take any more choices away from Ahsoka; she'd already had too much taken from her. His course of action clear, Rex looked to the sleeping Togruta and resolved, in that moment, that anything involving her would have her input. He remembered feeling powerless on Umbara to help his men; in having _his_  choices taken away. If Ahsoka felt even a fraction of that, he was going to re-empower her. At the temple she'd been at the mercy of people who had taken her choices away from her. 

 Whatever happened from now on, Ahsoka would have her choices. Good or bad, as soon as Rex resolved to do it, a weight lifted off his shoulders and a sense of certainty set in. It was the right thing to do. 

* * *

  "I'm sorry, sir," Kix was certain he'd heard Rex wrong, and glanced at Coric only to find the other medic frowning thoughtfully. "You want me to bring the Commander's belongings _and_ some of yours to her quarters?"

  _"Copy that, Kix."_

 "May I ask why, sir?"

  _"The Commander has asked that I remain with her here, for the time being."_

 Kix shot another look at Coric and muted the call. "Is this wise?"

 Coric shrugged. "We don't know what has triggered her partial reversal at the temple, even if we can guess."

 "Aside from their attempts to try and get her to reveal what happened, you mean?" With a frown, Kix ran a hand over his head. " _We_  know what happened; won't this potentially trigger her?" 

"Possibly," Coric's agreement was easy, "But it's the first thing she's asked of Rex in a long time."

 "It will draw attention, Coric."

 "Right now, I think it's more important that the Commander feel safe than worrying about the appearance of proprietary."

 "The men will talk."

  _"Kix? Coric?"_

 "I'll handle them." Reaching over, Coric un-muted the call. "Apologies, sir; Kix will deliver the Commander's effects and a few of your own shortly. Is there anything in particular that you'd like us to bring?" 

_"The same as any three day field mission."_

 "Three days only, sir?" 

  _"I'm hoping Ahsoka will want her own space by then, Kix."_  Rex didn't sound particularly confident about it even as he continued. _"Bring them by as soon as you can. She's sleeping right now."_

 "Should I knock?"

  _"Lightly; I don't want to wake her up."_

"Yes, sir."

  _"And Coric?"_

 Without a doubt, Coric knew what Rex was going to ask and, instead of waiting for it, simply gave his answer. "I'll handle the men, sir."

  _"Thank you."_

The comm. clicked off and Kix sagged. "This isn't going to be any easier than the first time, is it?"

 "You're forgetting that this is progress," placing his hand on the younger clone's shoulder, Coric squeezed reassuringly. "If you go now, Rex's quarters should be free for you to enter and reclaim what you need. I'll call a company meeting and explain the situation."

 "I sure hope this time goes better than last time. The rumors only just died down as to the Commander's reassignment to the Temple a couple of weeks back." Placing his hand over Coric's, Kix shot him a faint smile. "What are you going to tell them?"

 "A version of the truth."

 "Coric-"

 "A version, Kix. Trust me."

 It wasn't even a question and Kix let it go; Coric would do what he needed to in order to keep the suspicion away from the Captain and Commander. With a nod, he took his leave and headed straight for Rex's small room to collect both of their gear. He only hoped, as he keyed in the code, that his Captain was able to reach her this time. _At least she's back where she belongs_ , he assured himself as he collected Ahsoka's bag and then began to pack Rex's rucksack, including the small amount of bedding and some off duty clothes. _This time... this time she'll know she's got all of us in her corner; that we won't give up. This time, the Commander will finally come home to us._  

* * *

  Rex was waiting by the door, with the lock already deactivated, when the soft rap came.

 He immediately keyed the door open and motioned Kix to step in. While he'd been waiting, he'd considered this moment and, with Ahsoka sleeping, it was the best of the options to keep the gossip to a minimum. 

 Kix hesitated but Rex waved him in. "Get in and keep it quiet."

 The medic did just that, and the door slid closed behind him. Reaching out, Rex took what had to be his effects from where they were looped over Kix's shoulder, listening for shifting equipment as he carefully placed it placed the bag on the floor by the door. Confident the bag wouldn't shift again, he turned back to find Kix had done the same with Ahsoka's effects on the other side of the portal. Kix glanced at the sleeping Torgruta and then back at Rex; it was a glance that Rex knew well.

 "Not yet," he told the medic softly, speaking just above a whisper so his voice didn't carry. "When she's ready to see you again, I'll let you know."

 "I brought this," Kix pulled a fully loaded medkit from his back and offered it to Rex, matching his tone to his Captain's. "I didn't know is she was still..."

 "I suspect she'll need bacta to get rid of the scars, if they didn't dump her in a tank on Coruscant."

 "I'll check the records." Across the room, Ahsoka shifted in her sleep, letting out a soft sigh. "That's my cue, Captain." Kix winced. "If you need anything else..."

 "I'll let you know. Thank you, Kix." Rex reached to open the door and paused. "Food, when you have the chance, would be appreciated. She needs to eat."

 "Yes sir." 

 "Something plain but nutritious. She won't be able to handle anything rich."

 "Once they know it's for the Commander, they may want to make her a welcome back meal like last time, sir."

 "She won't be able to handle favors from the men just yet, Kix." Rex held Kix's gaze to ensure he understood. "She didn't the last time."  

 There was a moment pause as Kix digested the statement. "Understood." Seeing him glance back at Ahsoka, Rex watched Kix's wince and resisted the urge to do the same. He got it; she wasn't easy to look at. Even covered by her blankets and in the dim light, you could see her color wasn't well. "I'll let the galley know and see what we can bring you. Good luck."

 "Thank you."

 Kix was gone a moment later, the door once again locked, and Rex took a bracing breath before reaching for Ahsoka's belongings. The bag was small, probably filled with clothing based on the appearance, and when he lifted it, he found it wasn't very heavy at all. There was no _clink_  to indicate lightsabers when he gave the bag an experimental shake and his frown returned before he deliberately wiped it away. The Temple Healers had mentioned that she'd cut herself off from the Force and, if that was true - as he was suspecting was the case based on their earlier interactions - then using or maintaining her lightsabers wouldn't have been a high priority for her. Perhaps Anakin had them?

 He pushed the thoughts of his volatile General aside, knowing that if Anakin _knew_  what had happened to her, and who had captured her to facilitate it, the pirate would not be long for this Galaxy. Much as he wanted Anakin to take him and his men in search of the pirate, Ahsoka had to come first. Instead of dwelling on it, Rex walked on soft steps across the room to place the bag on the table next to her bunk. The bag was soft and silent as it hit the surface, settling easily and Rex reflected that it would likely be the only thing easy about her return in the coming days and weeks.

 Ahsoka moaned softly in her sleep, her legs shifting restlessly and causing the blanket to shift, sliding downwards and exposing her shoulders and tips of her _lekku_. Her head shifted on her pillow before she settled, letting out a whimper and curling in on herself as she did. _"Rex..."_

 "I'm here." Rex hadn't thought about reassuring her, his voice the same gruff, low tone he'd used with Kix; she'd called for him, even in sleep, and he wasn't about to let her think she was alone.

  _"Rex.."_

 He flinched at the pain in her voice, the seeking child who pleaded with him in her unconscious state. Even as he watched, one of her hand flexed, her arm stretching out a little, as if seeking. She called for him again, her finger stretching and contracting, _reaching_  he realized belatedly. Without hesitation, he rounded the bed and dropped to his knees, reaching for her hand - and hesitated as he was about to touch her. What if he cause her harm by touching her in her sleep? He placed his hand in the way of hers just as she called his name again. "I'm here, Ahsoka." he projected his voice a little more this time just as her hand ran into his. He left his palm open as she stopped, her fingers slowly moving across his, touching the palms of his gloves. "I'm here. You're not alone."

 "Rex." 

 Her tone changed to one of relief as her hand slid into his and curled to grip, palm to palm, her hold on him tight. Unthinkingly, Rex brought his other hand to bear and wrapped it around the back of hers, humbled by the unconscious show of trust. As his other hand held tight to hers, she gave another little sigh, and slipped back into sleep, this time her breathing even and relaxed. Reassured that she'd reacted well to his impulsive gesture, and relieved that she hadn't woken terrified, Rex gently squeezed her hand and settled himself into as comfortable a position as he was able with his hand trapped in hers.

  _Hopefully_ , he reflected as he set himself next to her bunk, _Kix won't be back anytime soon._  

* * *

  _Return to the Resolute Day 02_

 Ahsoka woke to an unexpected sensation and disorientation. Taking stock before she opened her eyes, immediately alert and on edge, her muscles tensed.

 The quiet caught her first; there was a distinct _lack_  of beeping from machinery monitoring her. The next thing she noticed was that she didn't feel the familiar pressure of the probes or wires attached to her; she couldn't feel the leads. The familiar whispers of her watchers were also absent, as was the scent of antibacterial disinfectant.

 In its place was the hum of something she couldn't quite place, the soft ebb and flow of a air unit recycling the air about her. 

  _Where am I?_

 The even rhythm of someone breathing nearby drew her attention to the fact that, in her hand, was the unfamiliar warmth of something pressing against her palm. 

 Her eyes opened to slits first before widening completely to near saucers. Beside her, his hand cradling hers protectively, his head down next to it, was a face she'd seen so often in her dreams over the last weeks, only the pressure of his hand reassured her that she wasn't dreaming yet again.  _Rex._

 He was sleeping; unguarded, and Ahsoka took a moment to observe him. Sleeping, he wasn't a threat, he wasn't dangerous. She knew just how fast he could wake and made sure she lay very still as she took in the familiar lines of his face, all the while waiting for the familiar fears to rise up in the back of her throat and choke her. For once, for the first time in a very, very long time, they didn't come.

 Perhaps it was the way his hand held hers, obviously having responded to her reaching for him, as her arm was almost fully outstretched to the edge of her bunk. Or perhaps it was the fact that she could tell her was tired and sleep made him vulnerable; a vulnerability he wasn't afraid to share with her, for all she was still consciously afraid to share her with him. Maybe it was the fact he'd _stayed_  when she'd asked him not to go before passing out upon their return to her quarters.

 Whatever it was, in that moment, all Ahsoka felt was protected.

 The beeping of his comm. shattered the feeling several moments later, making her tense and jerk back as his eyes flew open, his amber irises as alert as if he'd never been asleep at all. Reflexively, Ahsoka shrank back, scrambling away from him.

 "Ahsoka - it's _me_ ; Rex."

 His voice didn't stop her from falling off the far side of the bed, but it did stop her as she lay where she'd fallen, her hip radiating with the sudden pain of the unexpected impact. _His_ voice gave her pause as she lay shivering in the rumpled sheet.

 "You're back on the _Resolute_ ; you're not on Coruscant any more."

  _Back on the_ Resolute? _It's not possible... is it?_

 There was a pause and she could hear him getting to his feet; she heard his knees crack as he straightened, the mattress shifting and bumping her shoulder as it lost his weight.

 "Ahsoka?"

 She exhaled raggedly, not trusting her senses. "Rex?"

 "I'm here."

 Swallowing hard, she pushed up on her hands and looked towards the other side of her bunk; he stood, watching her, his hands hanging loosely at his sides, but without making any move to close the distance.  He _was_ ; it _wasn't_ a dream. After calling out for him for so long, he was _finally_  within reach. "Rex."

 "Ahsoka."  He watched her as she got to her feet, doing nothing to aid her, nor crowd her; he was simply _there_. "Your personal effects are there," he nodded to the table next to her and it was only then that Ahsoka noticed her bag. "I wasn't sure where else you might want them."

 "You didn't put them away?"

 "I wasn't going to invade your privacy without asking."

 The gesture was so unexpected, her eyes widened. Invade her privacy? Ahsoka had almost forgotten what that was. At the Temple, the Healers had put her under observation the moment they'd sedated her to remove her from the ship. 

 "It's just clothes."

 "I didn't know if you wanted to keep them," his searching look was unexpected. "Do you?"

 Rex's question caught her off guard and gave her pause as she opened her mouth to reply.  _Do I?_  Ahsoka considered it a moment; no one had asked her if she wanted to keep the clothing that was a replica, a _reminder_  of what Hon-... she flinched away from _his_ name. No one had asked her if she wanted the reminder of her inability to defend herself, of own _weakness_ ,around. "No," she finally replied, taking a step back from the bag and averting her gaze. "No; I really don't."

 "Do you want me to remove them?" Rex's question was again unexpected; as was the fact he'd been ignoring the flashing of the comm. she belatedly realized he must have placed on silent.

 "Are you going to get that?"

 "In a moment."

 That _wasn't_  what she expected to hear. "Why?"

 "Why, what?"

 "Why wait?"

 "The men are under orders to report to Coric for the moment and that I'm not to be disturbed." Rex finally moved a little stretching to release the kinks from his back, but not moving any closer to her. "Those who would contact me know that I will put your welfare first. If I don't answer, they know I'll call them when I am able."

 "Oh." His lack of movement from his position distracted her. "Then why are you staying by the viewport?"

 His lips quirked into a ghost of a smile. "Are you comfortable with me approaching unannounced?"

 "No."

 "With your permission, then," he motioned the path around her bunk, "may I approach?"

 His question, again, threw her off kilter. Since when did _Rex_  ask to come near her? "You don't have to ask," she snapped, wrapping her arms about her middle and backing away from the bed as he began to move, unconsciously putting more distance between them. "I know I'm broken, Rex; you don't have to remind me of it!"

 He paused as he rounded the bunk. "Remind you?"

 "By treating me like I'm going to shatter if you come closer," Ahsoka couldn't help the snap in her voice and the anger felt _good_ ; it felt right to have an outlet, the words spilling from her lips unchecked. "I know I'm broken, alright? I was reminded of it daily by the Healers; all those _Jedi_  telling me that the only way to _fix_  myself was to give myself over to the Force and let it guide me. To explore my trauma to find what the Force wanted of me. I get it; I'm broken - I'll never _be_  Ahsoka again!" Her voice grew louder and louder under she was nearly screaming at him, tears streaming unconsciously down her cheeks. "If you're going to treat me like everyone else, why don't you just send me back to the temple where you put me in the first place! Would that work better for you? Would it?"

 "No."

 "Then what do you want from me, Rex? I'm not the Ahsoka you knew; I can never _be_  her again! What do you want from me?" Her screamed question dropped off into silence that was broken by her ragged breathing and a soft gulping as she struggled to breathe, her chest tight after the tirade. 

 Rex was regarding her silently, solemnly, as if waiting for something.

 "What?!"

 "Are there any other lies you'd like to give me, Ahsoka?"

 "Li... I'm _not_  lying to you!"

 "Then you're lying to yourself." Rex's words were even, quiet almost, but full of conviction. "I _know_  you're not the same Ahsoka that you were before your capture. That doesn't mean you can't be someone like her again. You are _not_  broken. You were a victim; there is a difference."

 "Enlighten me, Rex."

 "You were assaulted against your will, by someone who sought to harm you. Someone who sought to steel something from you." He took a step closer as he spoke, but Ahsoka was focused on his voice, clinging to it like a life line as she sought a desperate confirmation that she wasn't the broken individual everyone else had called her. "They got what they wanted, yes; they _hurt_  you, but they didn't _break_ you. You turned to me after we got you off the ship. You _asked_  for my help after weeks at the Temple with people who do not understand what happened. _You_  asked for help, Ahsoka. If you were broken, if you were beyond help, you wouldn't have _asked_."

 Her breath shuddered out of her lungs as her knees gave out and she collapsed to the floor, tears continuing to stream down her cheeks. "Rex..."

 He knelt before her, his hands on the floor between them as his gaze found hers. 

 "How... how can you be so confident? So _sure_?"

 "Because I know who you were." His voice was again soft, his gaze searching, but firm. "I know who you have the potential to _be_. I _have_ been broken, Ahsoka. I know what it feels like. _You_  put me back together; _you_  taught me that anyone can come back from it."

 "So you _do_  think I'm broken."

 "No." Ahsoka could see the conviction in his eyes. " _You_  think you're broken; I have to find a way to convince you otherwise."


	14. Chapter 14

Ahsoka was in the 'fresher a short while later when Rex finally reached for his comm. and called Kix.

  _"Captain?"_

 "Report, Kix."

  _"I've morning meals for both of you, sir."_

 "Thank you, Kix. Bring them over when you have a moment; I'll tell her you're coming." 

_"Yes sir."_

 The comm. clicked off and Rex looked around the room again. His gaze fell on the bag of clothing that Ahsoka had said she didn't want. He could understand why; a part of his memory from her rescue distinctly remembered, in the depths of his dreams, the shredded shift that had been near the bed she'd been found on. What else could she wear though? He didn't know what else she had and didn't think it was appropriate to search without her permission. For the moment, he collected the bag of clothes she didn't want and placed it next to his by the door. 

 As he did, an idea struck him. It wasn't ideal, but it would give her an option. He turned to the closed 'fresher door and raised his voice. "Ahsoka?"

  _"Yes, Rex?"_

 "Would you like a change of clothes?"

  _"If you can find something else."_

 He shook his head once, and crouched to check his gear. Sorting through the bag quickly, he pulled out the set of draw-string pants Kix had thoughtfully included. Taking Ahsoka's words as permission to search, he went to her closet and sought the loose shirt she'd worn before her departure. He had no trouble finding it, seeing as how it was hung on the inside of the door, and quickly collected both items before heading back to the 'fresher. "Ahsoka?"

  _"Did you find something?"_

 "I'll leave them by the door."

  _"Thank you, Rex."_

 "You're welcome."

 He did as he said and then turned back to the room, his gaze falling back on his rucksack. Not knowing what else to do with it, he collected it and placed it under the desk by her bunk so it was out of the way. Once she was changed, and they'd removed the unwanted items from her quarters, he'd ask about where she was comfortable having him set up a temporary sleep space. And it would be temporary; sleeping on the edge of of her bunk wasn't the most uncomfortable place he'd ever slept, but it wasn't somewhere he planned on being again. Unless she asked. If she asked he be there, Rex wasn't sure he'd have had the will to refuse her.

 The 'fresher door opened and he turned, a smile almost forming on his lips. Ahsoka looked lost in his pants. The legs were rolled up just enough to allow her to walk, her long-sleeved shirt hiding what he knew had to be the tightest the drawstring had even been pulled to cinch the fabric. "I look ridiculous."

 "How do you feel?"

 She considered him and then, softly, admitted, "Comfortable."

 "Then it doesn't matter how you look." turning away from her, he looked deliberately back to the closet. "Should we empty your closet to make room for your new wardrobe?"

 "I don't have a new wardrobe."

 "Not yet." Rex regarded her from the corner of his eye considering. "Do you want to keep the old one?"

 "No."

 "Then we get rid of it."

 It didn't take long for Rex to assist Ahsoka with removing the clothing from her closet and bag, and putting it in a pile by the door. He insisted she be the one to go into the closet itself and throw him what she didn't want. They were just finishing up as there was a buzz at the door. Ahsoka whirled from where she'd been closing the closet doors, her eyes wide, and Rex held up both hands to get her attention. "Easy, Ahsoka. It's just Kix."

 "Here?" her gaze veered away from his, as if looking for an escape route as she shrank away. "Why?"

 "He's brought us breakfast." Rex paused. "Can I let him in?" For a moment, Rex wondered if she'd insist that he not open the door, watching her eyes continue to dart left and right. "I won't let him hurt you, Ahsoka; I'm right here."

 "You said he wouldn't come here."

 "I said he would bring your things to my room and that I would bring them from there," Rex corrected her. "With you wanting me here, someone needs to bring our meals and any other items we require."

 "But Kix-"

 "Won't hurt you." Ahsoka didn't look entirely convinced. "Remember the transport? He knows not to stay."

 The door chime rang again but Rex made no move to answer it, his gaze on Ahsoka.  

"If you need to see him, why aren't you letting him in?" 

"I'm waiting for your go ahead." Rex was determined to get this from her; she needed to feel in control. "These are your quarters, Ahsoka. You have final say." 

"But I..." she looked torn, unwilling to make a decision. Rex didn't push her. silence stretched between them as she struggled with a response. Another minute passed before the buzzer rang a third time, seeming to snap her out of the funk. "Just open the _kriffing_ door already!"

 Rex did exactly that, ignoring the fact she'd all but yelled the order at him. The portal slid open, revealing Kix on the other side with two covered trays and a bag over one shoulder. "Kix." 

"Sir." The medic made no move to enter, simply raised his voice. "Good morning, Commander." 

Ahsoka didn't answer him and a quick look to the side showed Rex that she'd gone to the other side of her bunk, well away from the view of the door. Her silence didn't appear to faze Kix as he proffered the trays. "Breakfast, sir. Nothing fancy, just what they're serving in the mess." Rex's lips quirked at his commentary; Ahsoka could certainly hear him and would know it was the same food everyone was eating. He accepted the stacked trays and then frowned when Kix pulled the bag from his shoulder. "And a few personal items I missed last night, to keep you busy during down time." 

Accepting the bag, Rex hefted it over his shoulder, much the same way Kix had been carrying it. "Thank you, Kix."

 "My pleasure, sir. Let me know if you need anything else." 

"More clothes."

 "More, sir?"

 "Mine have been commandeered." Stepping back, Rex nodded to the pile of Ahsoka's clothing beside the door. "These need to be incinerated." 

"Yes sir," Kix stepped in only as far as was necessary to collect the shifts and leggings that had been stacked in the pile. "Anything else?"

 "That'll be all, Kix."

 "Yes, sir. I'll collect the trays when I bring you dinner." he paused and dropped his voice. "Good luck."

 The door closed, taking the medic away, and Rex turned to find Ahsoka watching him. He reached back to secure the door before taking the trays to the desk by her bunk. He placed them down carefully, before pulling the lids off. Nutrient cubes and two empty cups. Without glancing Ahsoka's way, Rex opened the bag Kix had brought, feeling the weight, and found a thermal container. Cracking the seal, he inhaled greedily as the scent of fresh caf his his nose. Kix had thought of everything.

 Pouring his own cup, he set the thermal container down, collected his tray, and walked several paces away to sit on the floor with his back against the wall. He looked at Ahsoka and lifted his cup before he took a bracing sip of the hot brew. "Breakfast is here. Help yourself."

 "Help my..."

 Rex plucked one of the cubs from his tray and chewed, keeping one eye on her before he dug into the bag again. Inside were several items. A datapad with several discs, a pack of cards which appeared to be sabbac. Or perhaps a deck for Pazzak; he didn't own his own set, and didn't generally play, but it would be a good way to pass the time if Ahsoka could be convinced to play. He started with the datapad, flipping it on and hooking in the first disc even as he watched Ahsoka move slowly towards the tray he'd left for her. 

 Lifting his knees, he balanced his tray before taking another sip of the caf. There was no doubting as it hit his tongue that this was the caf the galley served to officers, freshly brewed and not yet dredges; not the stuff they served in the general hall - something he'd have to thank Kix for later. Carefully, Rex looked through the discs that Kix had brought. There were a couple of holo films, which meant the datapad had an adapter somewhere in the bottom of the bag, three holo novels, a word game he and Ahsoka could play together, and some additional reading about recovery. Not sure exactly how long Ahsoka wanted him to stay, Rex was grateful for the options to pass the time. 

 The last item in the bag was his repair kit for his blasters and he silently thanked the medic for the foresight. He had one modification left to complete on the blaster that had replaced his lost one, and having that to do would help pass the time in another productive way.

 As he finished checking through his repair kit to ensure it was all there, Rex glanced up to find Ahsoka taking a seat on the floor near him, just out of reach to his left, and mimicking his pose. Unlike him, though, she'd brought the whole carafe of caf and not just her cup.

 "I'm sorry, Rex."

 "What for?"

 She exhaled shakily as she placed her tray on her lap. "I didn't think what asking you to stay would mean." 

"You've had a lot on your mind, Ahsoka." An understatement if there ever was one.  

She nodded and took a sip of her caf, cradling the mug in both hands as she stared across the room. Silence descended between them and Rex  went back to his meal and his own caf, taking the time to peruse the first couple of articles Kix had included about recovery from trauma. 

 Time passed, Rex glancing at Ahsoka now and again to find that she seemed to be absently eating her food, using one hand to pop the nutrient cubes into her mouth, while the other never relinquished her cup. He was halfway through the second article when Ahsoka broke the silence. 

"Rex?"

 "Yes?"

 "I..." she hesitated and then her voice dropped. "Nothing." 

Rex didn't push her. The silence was longer than what was comfortable, but he waited her out, pretending to be reading even as he observed her. She was chewing on her bottom lip between the bites of her breakfast as she gazed across the room into nothingness. He'd have given a lot to know what she was thinking in that moment. He finished off his meal and then sipped his caf, savoring it for a few minutes before finishing it, too. Taking his tray and cup, he pushed to his feet. 

 "What...?"  Her cup went flying as her hands flew up to protect herself, her startled gaze clashing with his.

 "I'm done." Rex showed her his empty cup and tray. "Are you?"

 "Am... oh. Yeah." Ahsoka scrambled to her feet, moving swiftly away to collect her cup and putting them back on the desk beside her bunk wish shaking hands. Rex stayed where he was, waiting. "Rex?"

 "May I?"

 She backed away, giving him room, and Rex neatly stacked his empty tray on hers, glad to see she'd eaten everything Kix had brought. Nutrient cubes weren't the most tasty of foods, but they had everything one needed to stay, or get, healthy. He set aside their glasses, noting that she'd left the thermal container where she'd been sitting. If he wanted more caf later, he knew where to find it. Turning back her way, her found her watching him from beside her closet. One arm was around her middle, the other holding the neck of her sweater tight against her throat. It pained him to see her like that and so, instead of moving towards her, moved towards his gear.

 "Where are you going?"

 Rex paused, looking at her in confusion. "Going?"

 "You're leaving," her tone was accusatory.

 Rex glanced back to his gear, which was still beside the door, and realized what it looked like. "I'm getting my gear." 

"You don't need to make excuses, Rex," Ahsoka snapped. "If you want to leave, just go!" 

"I am _not_ going anywhere, Ahsoka." He turned to face her directly, crossing his arms over his chest before he thought better of it. "I know that's hard for you to believe right now. I give you my word that I will not leave this room without informing you first." 

 "Just like you gave your word the last time?"

 "I kept my word, Ahsoka," Rex kept his response even, feeling as if she was trying to get a rise from him, "Fives reported what happened. You've believed all this time that I was the one who told Anakin about our last mission, but it wasn't me. I had the footage scrubbed and the men were ordered not to say anything."

 "Everyone but Fives."

 "Fives is an ARC." Rex's tone turned wry for all he was still angry with his _vod_. "And... Fives is Fives." He didn't add anything beyond that because Ahsoka was as familiar with Fives' proclivities as he was. Ahsoka was staring at him and Rex felt his expression turn serious again. He exhaled softly. "Fives did what he thought was right, Ahsoka. He did it to protect the men."

 "Which makes it okay? He took you away from me, Rex!"

 "Yes. He did."

 "I _needed_ you, Rex. _I needed you_." her voice rose higher, taking on a frantic note. "And you weren't there! You didn't come; you _didn't_!" 

"I _couldn't_ ," he told her evenly, his hands clenching and un-clenching as he forced himself to put his hands down to his sides and adopt a non-threatening pose. Forcing himself to hold his tongue, he waited for her next cue. Excuses wouldn't help and, for all his rank and station had prevented him from going to her, he also knew if he'd known what they were doing to her, he would have gone regardless. What he would have done at the Temple, he didn't know, but he would have been _there_  for her to sense.

 "Couldn't?"

 "I'm here now."

 Ahsoka slid to the floor, her arms wrapped around her middle. "Why, Rex?"

 "Why, what?"

 "Why now?" she seemed smaller as she asked the question; deflated. "I've been begging to see you for weeks. To talk to you. Why now? Why send me here, to you, _now_?"

 Rex approached her slowly, giving her a chance to ask him to stop and relieved when she didn't take it. He knelt before her so she could look into his eyes. "I don't know the answer to that."

 "Do... you really want me here?"

 "I never wanted you to leave, Ahsoka."

 "Then why did you let Anakin take me? Why didn't you stop the shuttle?"  

"I tried." He exhaled softly. "Fives stopped me." 

"How? _"_  

"He punched me. Knocked me out cold." It wasn't exactly his best moment but he'd never lied to her about them before and wasn't about to start now. "By the time I came to, Kix told me that the transport had already left." 

"Oh" he saw more than heard the comment, watching as it seemed to make her deflate further. "Why did they take me away, Rex?" The pain radiating from her was visceral and he was rocked back slightly despite the fact her voice was little more than a whisper. "Why did they make me leave? Why... why did... what did I do to-?"

 "Nothing." In that moment, Rex swore that if he ever got his hands on the _dikut_  ARC who had reported her collapse, he was going to tear Fives to pieces. "Absolutely nothing, Ahsoka."

 "But I must have. I _must have!_ " Her voice turned shrill. "You don't... how could they... why didn't they just let me stay, Rex? Why...?"  

He said nothing, having no answer for her. While he understood Anakin's reaction to what had to have been an alarming report from Fives, part of him was disappointed his commanding office hadn't come to ask him why he'd not reported the incident before making any decisions. If Anakin had just _asked_  what had happened, Rex was mostly confident he could have talked him around to letting Ahsoka stay; he could have been helping her these last six weeks instead of having the Temple Healers use her as a test subject.

 Rex eased away a little as she tensed, seeming to withdraw towards the wall, and sat back on his heel, leveling one arm across his bent knee. His hand flexed when Ahsoka grabbed it in both of hers. "Don't! Don't go. Don't let them take me away again, Rex."

 "You're not going anywhere, Ahsoka. Neither am I."

 "I'm tired, Rex."

 He counted backwards from three. "I know."

 "I..." her gaze darted back to her bunk. "I don't know if I can..."

 "You can. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He resisted the urge to cover her hands with his free one; having her initiate a touch was once thing, but Rex knew from his discussions with Kix and Coric, and his experience with her both now and before she'd been taken away, that any sudden movements on his end could trigger a violent reaction. "You're not alone anymore, Ahsoka."

 "Rex..."

 Slowly, so not to alarm her, he shifted, adjusting his posture so he would put his hand carefully over hers, watching her as she watched him, for any signs of trepidation. As his hand came near hers, she flinched, and he would see wariness, _fear_ , entering her gaze. "Ahsoka?" Her gaze darted back to his and then his hand, and Rex stopped. He slowly lowered his hand away without touching her. "I shouldn't have done that."

 "Why not?" Her hands released his, nearly sending him toppling backwards as she also gave him a little shove and turned her face away, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms about them. "You would have before I was..." she buried her face in her knees, visibly ashamed, "before I... when  _he_  broke me."

 "I would have," he agreed gruffly after a moment, readjusting his posture so he was leaning back a little and giving her some space. "You're had your trust broken, Ahsoka. Not just a mental one; a physical one. What happened to you was not your fault. What it did to you, is not your fault." Rex hoped he was using the right words to help her and was encouraged when she seemed to be listening. "What happened to you on that ship is going to take time to heal."

 "What if I don't?"

 It was unthinkable. "You will."

 "But what if I don't Rex?" She looked up at him tearfully, still hugging her knees. "What if I'm broken forever?"

 "You won't be."

 She gave a gaffe of a sound, a laugh but not one. "You sound so sure." 

"I am."

 "How can you be? Look at me, Rex!" Ahsoka pushed to her feet, wobbling a little as she reached out to touch the wall for balance. " _Look_ at me! I can't even have Kix in the room and he looked exactly like you!" 

"There might be a difference or two," he admonished, running a hand over his short blonde hair before turning serious again. He stayed where he was, looking up at her, and wondering if he should get to his feet, but deciding against it. "Your trust in others, in yourself, has been broken, Ahsoka. We need to rebuild it and that will take time."

 "What if I can't ever trust someone again? What if I'm stuck behind a locked door for the rest of my life? That's _not_  living!"

 "No. It's not."

 Ahsoka stared at him and then seemed to deflate again and he wondered if it was due to emotional or physical strain. She was certainly under enough of both. "I'm just so, so tired. I want to sleep. For it to be all over."

 "Then get some shut eye. I'll watch over you."

 "You won't leave?"

 "Never again." he leaned forward a little so she couldn't mistake his sincerity. "Not until you ask me to."

 "Not even if Anakin orders you to?"

 "Not even then," he offered her the barest of smiles. "You asked for me, Ahsoka. I am here. I am _not_ going anywhere."


End file.
